little lies we tell
We all know that guys fib when it comes to their height, income and how many touchdowns they scored senior year. But we ladies play a serious lying game when chit chatting about our diets! A British study found that women tell some whoppers about what we put in our mouths, so I thought I’d help translate what we say…and what we actually mean. Bon appetit!
Drinks and Sodas
She said: I only had one glass!
She meant: Technically that’s true, it was one glass. I just had it refilled five times…
Kicking Off a Diet
She said: I mean I can’t just throw out these cookies. People are starving in this country, that’s so wasteful!
She meant: God forbid I drive the 10 miles to the nearest food pantry when I could simply sack out on the couch and eat all these myself! So much more efficient.
She said: Oh I just had a salad for lunch
She meant: “Salad” is now code for “green leafy vehicle to get as much bacon bits, croutons and creamy dressing into my face as possible.”
She said: I’m starving! I was too busy for breakfast today and just grabbed a coffee.
She meant: “Actually can I get a Gingerbread Caramel latte? Venti. No, whole milk. Sure, add whip cream. Ooo little more. Bit more…liiiiiitle bit more. MORE. Ok that’s good. Oh and where are the sugar packets?”
She said: I just went vegan so I’m probably going to lose a TON of weight.
She meant: After weeks of eating nothing but potatoes, pasta, chips and anything else that’s white, starchy and carbo-loaded, I will act totally baffled about why I’ve gained eight pounds.
Covering the Food Pyramid
She said: I always eat five servings of veggies a day!
She meant: POTATOES GROW IN THE GROUND, DON’T TELL ME THEY DON’T COUNT AS VEGETABLES!
At the Drive-Thru
She said: Ew, fast food is SO gross. I never touch it.
She meant: Unless I’m late, hungover, depressed, stressed, craving fries, at the airport, with my little sister, not with my little sister…
She said: I don’t even look at the scale, I just go by how my clothes fit.
She meant: And considering I haven’t been able to fit into them in four months, there’s no way in hell I’m lumbering onto that scale, sister.
What was the last little lie you told about your habits? Tell us in the comments!
Now, see what little lies we tell on job interviews!
little lies we tell