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If he leaves you for not sleeping with him... he's a loser.
Will A Guy Wait To Have Sex
Ethan: Okay so I was talking to this guy for a few weeks and right after I told him I’m waiting to have sex til marriage he completely ignored me. Like didn’t call or text or see me ever again. But my question is: will guys that really love you wait for you? And is it better to have sex for the first time with someone experienced or the same as you?
First, the honest truth: the vast majority of American men (and women) engage in premarital sex. Combine this with the raging sexual drive of the pubescent male, and it becomes easier to foresee that a teenaged crush would bail at the first whiff of female chastity.
Ideally, a guy that’s interested in you for realsies shouldn’t have a problem with waiting for your relationship to develop before going all the way. He should realize that true love is founded in emotional connection, and that physical chemistry can be established in activities short of sex. Still, in the future you might want to refrain from announcing a commitment to abstinence until the relationship further solidifies, not only because it can shut down less mature guys, but because your beliefs may evolve with time as well. Even if casual sex might forever be out of the question, many unwed couples eventually desire more intimacy and decide to lose their virginity in a monogomous relationship.
Finn waited for Rachel to be ready...
My first time was with my equally inexperienced high school girlfriend, and while both of us sustained multiple awkward injuries (“You’re crushing my arm!”), knowing we were on the same level took the pressure off of performance. On the other hand, an experienced partner—while potentially more intimidating—can help guide you through your first time. So there’s really no prototype for the ideal first lover – their level or lack of proficiency is much less important than how comfortable you feel with the person in general.
But ultimately, if you’d definitely prefer to wait until marriage, then forget about the neanderthal. Find a more mature guy to love you for who you are. In the end, when to have sex is entirely your decision, and you need to be with someone who will respect your wishes (and, hopefully, is really good at making out).
Good luck!
Ethan
Confused about a guy? Wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
Should you wait for him to say ‘I love you’ first?
Will A Guy Wait To Have Sex
New Quiz!
The Morning After
I dont believe how girls think that just because a guy will wait to have sex, somehow suggests that he loves you. God!!! is your focus so narrow? Aren’t there more things that determine committment, affection, love etc? Why does everyone have to believe that sex is the only determinant? Sex is the glue that helps strengthen love. Sex is enjoyed by both the girl and the boy, and to use sex as a tool to gauge how much in love the guy is, seems daft. We are all primed to believe that somehow having sex is bad and should only be rationed out to those who commit to us. While I agree that sex is more enjoyable when you are comfortable with the guy, I dont agree that sex should only happen at a certain age or after marriage.I lost mine at 12. He was a lot older. I didnt feel used. I offered myself and I agreed.. well kind of. It was great and because he was older he knew exactly how to make my experience good. I had a few scares at times about pregnancy because we took risks. Thankfully I didn’t fall pregnant.
Summer, you are very sick! Anyone who doesn’t see the problem with having sex at 12 needs help. Please save your advice. I pray you do not have female children. If you in fact do have female children I am willingly to bet they are being featured in some child porn video at this very moment!!
I’m not sure why people think it’s so ridiculous to wait to have sex! Is it so strange now a days? I love the part where he says “Your beliefs might evolve as well” Like saying that when you’re older and see how the real world works you will drop this silly idea of waiting. I want to belong to one man. I’m not sure who I will end up with one day, but I think he deserves to be my one and only. I went to a friends wedding a couple of years back. Both her and her husband had saved their first kiss! There was something sweet and special about it. It showed a deep respect for each other, that even before they knew the other person they loved and waited for them. So if you’re someone who is waiting, be encouraged! You’re not the only one. If he really loves you he will respect what you believe and wont force you. If he is serious about you, and likes you for you, and not for the sex, he will wait!
I have been dating my boyfriend for four and half years and we are both waiting to be married to have sex. At first I was really self conscious and I always thought he was going to dump me because I wanted to wait. After several months of dating I got more comfortable and I asked him if it really bothered him. He told me about all the sex talk he had with his guy friends and that they made fun of him a little for dating me so long and not getting anything. He explained that he really didn’t mind and that I was completely worth the wait. He just laughed at me about his friends and how messed up their lives are, going back and forth between girls, dating psychos and all sorts of crazy thing and told me that he would rather have a good girlfriend who was their to support him and love him for who he is than a random girl just to have sex. I know this isn’t the case for everyone but there is hope out there for girls who want to wait, if he really cares about and your feelings he will wait until you are ready, whether that is in a month, a year or five years. I hope this helps!
P.S. the thing about long relationship when you have decided to wait is to still have fun! Be creative there a lot of fun, sexy things you can do without crossing what boundaries you have set!
If both of you are committed to those boundaries there is no reason not to have a little fun with each other!
U r ryt my dear
Not wanting to wait for marriage does not make a guy a “Neanderthal”.
A guy is not a “Neanderthal” for not wanting to wait until marriage.