Rant: Don’t Call Me A Slut. Don’t Call Her One Either.


slut shaming

Easy A took slut shaming head-on. I only saw part of it, because I was making out with my BF the whole time. True fact.

I’ve had enough and am finally saying something about it. The words “slut,” “ho,” “whore,” and all other colorful variations on the theme have got to go.

Want to judge me? Maybe pick on my bossiness (trying to work on it, I swear!), or how I can get ultra competitive to a point where it’s maybe not fun for everybody anymore (another thing I’m trying to tone down!)–but do not, ever, judge me on what I choose to do or not do sexually with my body. You know why? Because my body is mine, my choices are mine, and all of it is none of your business.

It’s bad enough when men try to tear us down this way–since of course there’s that lovely little double standard where guys can be “studs” but girls are trash if they aren’t virgins–but when women do it to each other? Girls calling other girls sluts? It makes me want to tear my hair out.

Sing it, sister!

Our moms and our moms’ friends and lots of other amazingly strong women that I’ll never have the privilege to meet fought really hard in the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s for women to have the right to enjoy sex rather than to just submit to it for some dude’s pleasure. Did you know that there was a time when teachers (even married ones!) would get fired if they became pregnant because they were “bad role models” for their students? Crazy, right?! The women’s movement changed that and a whole lot of other screwed up stuff. But when you call another girl a slut, it’s like you’re erasing all that progress and telling the world you don’t think women should have control over their own bodies.

If you're not a judge, stop judging!

If a girl wants to sleep with a ton of different dudes, that’s absolutely her business! Who is she hurting–especially if they’re having safe sex, and she’s honest with everybody? And I know a lot of you are thinking, “But there was this one girl who slept with my boyfriend–she’s a slut for sure!” Sorry to break it to you, honey, but you’re wrong. Her having sex wasn’t what she did that was wrong–having sex with your boyfriend was the real crime. “Slut” isn’t the accurate term for that. “Backstabbing idiot” is far more fitting. Try to be precise.

Nobody should be made to feel guilty or ashamed about having sex. Our bodies are beautiful, and one of the billions of awesome things they can do is have sex. If you choose not to have sex–that’s great, because that’s your decision! I totally respect that, as do a lot of other people. But that doesn’t give you the right to play Judge Judy and get your panties all in a knot over what some other girl did (or that you heard she did–rumors are vicious!) in her bedroom.

So let’s play nice. Here on Gurl.com and in real life–at school, at the mall, at work. We all know it’s hard enough to be a girl without being slut-shamed, so just give it a break, okay?

Have you ever been called a slut, or have you called another girl a slut and feel bad about it? Tell us everything in the comments.

Now, here are ten super cute date ideas!


Posted in: Being Yourself, Beliefs, Health, Sex & Relationships, Love&Sex, Sex, Spotlight On, Uncategorized, Virginity, Your Body, Your Life
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  • Jenn

    Look at the 1st picture all the way at the top of the page. That is a picture from a movie that I saw! 😀

  • rachel

    Its so easy to just call someone a slut its a word which people like to use to express their judgement on someone else. You know if you really want to talk about judgement some people think girls who arent virgins are sluts. So if you want to be a judgemental prick dont be upset if some guy calls you a slut for not being a virgin, if you give you’ve got to take to.

  • Just a Girl

    Back in 6th grade, girls would make comments about me behind my back, just because I had gotten my first kiss first. And let me tell you, I wasnt even that ready for that kiss!

  • DMM

    Women SHOULD have control over their own bodies. Self control. Sleeping with every guy you think is hot is disgraceful. Don’t expect to be seen as a beautiful perfect angel once a guy you ACTUALLY want to date finds out you’ve banged 15+ others. Being a skank is a huge turn off for DECENT men. He doesn’t know where you’ve been, what you may have, and how many of your numerous lovers you’ll be comparing him to secretly. As a woman, if a man I was interested in had slept with a girl outside of a committed relationship, I would no longer be interested in that man. If he can’t keep his junk in his pants normally, how will I trust him in a relationship? People who have no inhibitions when it comes to sex don’t deserve any pity when they are called what they truly are. Close your legs and stop whining. Show some respect to your body and save it for a man that DESERVES it, not a man who buys you a drink.

  • Anonymous

    Sleeping with a ton of guys and not having a committed relationship is the VERY definition of a slut, I’m sorry. A man who does the same is just as disgusting to me. I knew a so-called woman who bedded a guy just because she liked the way he smelled. If another girl tries to sleep with my boyfriend, she is most DEFINITELY a slut, because not only is she promiscuous enough to offer sex to someone she hasn’t been dating for four years, but she has absolutely no respect for another woman’s relationship and is willing to ruin it just so she can get her jollies – when there’s 15+ easy man-whores down the street at any given bar that she can pick from.

    Having tons of strangers under your belt does not gain my respect for you, and it certainly doesn’t say much for the argument that girls who sleep around aren’t sluts. Again, sleeping around is the very definition. “Anyone who’ll have me” is not an acceptable criteria for someone you’ll sleep with. Men and Women like that are the reason sex is so objectified and played down as meaningless in our society. I am proud to be one of the few women in this country that directly relates sex to LOVE, and refuses to “put out” to just anyone. My man did not get to have me until I was sure, beyond a doubt, that I was in love with him, and wanted to stay with him for the rest of my life. That is how every woman and man should act; if not, they have no class, no respect for their bodies, and will most likely eventually get an STD or an unwanted pregnancy. There is NO such thing as safe sex. Condoms break. BC Fails. Committed relationship or bust.

    • Ella

      Actually, the real definition of “slut” is a prostitute. Sex is about pleasure and sometimes creating life. It is related to love, but it isn’t love. Please stop slut shaming and work on perfecting yourself rather than criticising others.

  • HoneyBunnny

    I don’t have a problem with girls that sleep around, I do however have a HUGE problem with girls that try to sleep with my boyfriend. Especially when they KNOW he is dating someone. Girls like this have no class and deserve the title that this article is arguing against.

  • Sammi

    I agree with you completely! What girls do in there sex lives is there own buisness. I don’t care if they sleep around or flaunt their bodies, its not my body so I shouldn’t be judging it.

  • BamBam

    Oh come on this article makes it sound like its perfectly fine to sleep around as long as its safe sex. Whats the target audience for this page? Teenage girls? I dont think thats a good message to be putting out there. Yes its not ok to call people sluts for enjoying sex but some girls ARE sluts. And its so degrading to yourself to sleep around with many boys whether its safe sex or not, because you WILL be known as that girl who’s an easy root. Also everyone doesnt think its ok for guys to sleep around but not for girls because i certaintly dont. Its disgusting. Girls respect your body, having sex with someone puts you in a very vulnerable position & why you would want to do with someone you dont love, just because you ‘enjoy’ it, i dont know.

  • Charlie

    I agree that what a girl does with her body is her business, but when she is running around sleeping with lots of men, she is (in my mind) disrespecting her body. My opinion aside, a “slut” is, by definition, someone who is sexually promiscuous. So, someone who sleeps with lots of people is technically a slut. And don’t think that it’s a sexist thing because I believe the same exact thing for men. If I know a man has been with a lot of people, I think just the same… he is a slut. Just own it if you live it. To ask people not to call such a person a slut is asking them to not say it like it is. I mean, it’s the same as if someone who is addicted to drinking and drinks a lot and often were to tell people to stop calling them an alcoholic because they are “allowed to do what they want with their body”. Yes, they can drink if they want, but everyone is still going to call them an alcoholic…

    • Ren

      Why don’t you call them a sexaholic, then? How is enjoying your body’s natural sensations disrespecting it? Sounds like a pretty good deal to me. As long as the sex is safe and consensual, there’s literally no harm being done. Would you like it if I called you a prude? A goody-two-shoes? What people do with their bodies (or don’t do) is literally none of your business, and it is not your place to judge.
      Also, generally people who have a lot of casual sex are not addicted to it. It becomes and addiction when it interferes with your getting things done.
      If you don’t want have sex til you’ve been in a relationship for a few years? Fine. If you don’t ever want to have sex, ever? That’s fine, too. If you want to have sex with three people at once every night? Awesome, as long as every person is being safe and giving consent.
      Don’t judge people for things that don’t affect you.

  • Some dude

    Actually, as a man, I don’t believe that the fact that men use women as objects for sex justifies the same behavior from women at all. Now, I have slept with lots of women, but I sincerely cared for each and every one of them as a person, not as something to get me off, and I know I made them all feel special. It just makes me sad that it’s now culturally acceptable to be a “slut” or a “stud”. Therefore I disagree with the author of this article strongly and I think she has a rather narrow-minded way of thinking, but I do respect her calling out men. We do throw around the term “slut” too much and in harmful ways, but that’s the “studs” talking. Us nice guys are a dying breed, but the points you’re making are actually hurting your cause and reinforcing the whole “stud” behavior. There’s still nice guys out there, but you’re helping kill us off. I’d say more, but I’ve lost the desire to rant about this. You should watch a documentary called The Bro Code. We men are the cause of these problems in today’s society, please, girls, don’t change to be more like us in any way. We kinda suck.

    • Ren

      Excuse me, ‘Nice Guy’, but judging other people is not so nice. ‘Don’t change to be more like us’? Are you for real? Women have been promiscuous for just as long as men have, they just haven’t had the privilege of being patted on the back and congratulated for it. You better check yourself, ‘Nice Guy’, because you’re sounding awfully sexist.

  • Ellie

    Oh sure, it doesn’t hurt anyone–until one of the multiple guys she’s slept with gets married and gives his wife 1000 STD’s.

  • Gina

    I agree with this post for the most part. But there are some girls who truly are sluts, and those are the ones who aren’t honest, and/or safe. Once I got older and got out of that petty young girl stage that every girl goes through, there were very few people who I would call out because of sexuality. One girl in particular must of had some sort of psychological disorder. She’d lure virgins boys (high school age) in, screw them, dump them, and brag about how many virginities she’s taken. THOSE girls are the sluts, and psycho at that.

  • kristine

    i totally get what you said soph.i like how we can all voice our opinions in a relateable manner. peace out gurls lol

  • Soph

    I disagree because it depends on the circumstances. I know a girl who has slept with 8 people and she’s only 15 and 6 of them have been one night stands in terrible situations and places so I would consider her a slut, especially because she lies about what she does so she doesn’t seem bad but people always find out eventually which makes it worse. I think it’s bad that people who are just enjoying sex get called sluts but with circumstances like the girl I know, it’s an acceptable label. Sweet.

    • Scooby

      There is probably a /reason/ why she does that. And maybe, if you’d stop being a judgemental douche, you’d realize that people have had different experiences in their life and may not be as privileged as you yourself are.

      Stop judging and grow up. What she does is absolutely none of your concern.

  • kristine

    i completely disagree. when girls flaunt their bodies and their sex life-that makes them sluts in my book. nobody cares about your pointless hookups. im a virgin and plan to stay that way until marriage-a lot of girls in america should learn from me and stop sleeping around. peace

    • Scooby

      Wow, aren’t you a ~special snowflake~

      • kristine

        to scooby-shut up and douche bag is a term used for guys so get your facts straight

        • Raaak

          lol, we should “learn from you”? it’s not like you’re setting a good example. that’s you expressing your opinion/preference. who are you to say what’s right? “i have sex with 5 men every night-more people should be like me!!”-does that make sense? no? neither does your statement. if you don’t care about their pointless hookups, then stop judging them about it.

          • kristine

            maybe if you read my comment properly it would make sense to you.duh

  • Pretty.Smile

    i feel you im going down the “slut” road because i slept with the girl on my busses lil’Brother (Ryan)…..but this is what happened
    Jay(friend): man i need to find the slut of the school and just go all in
    Ryan’s sister(macey): You don’t need to the slut of the school is on the bus
    Jay: Aye slut
    Macey: She do enything
    Jay:she heard me
    Me:* sitting on the bus head down trying not to cry or let them hear me sniffle

  • Grace

    Preach it, baby! Fight the power! +1000 cool points to you!

  • Missfiction

    ok, if you sleep around on nice boys or are a hooker, you deserve to be called that. but if you enjoy “it” and dont take about it and nasty stuff all day long and week long, let nobody call you that.

  • SchoolSlut

    I think it depends on the circumstance. I have this friend, he is like my best friend and he always calls me “Ho” coming from him its a term of endearment. But when the guys from the public school down the road say stuff like “damn slut you got a nice kilt there” (I go to a private uniform school) its offensive.

  • TauroGirl

    There are so many people that call me a slut and even on facebook its really annoying and it hurts.I’ve only slept with one guy and i was with him for 2 years!
    i admit i flirt with guys because now IM SINGLE , damn i dont know what to do , i hate going to school now and just being online , i cant do anything !