Don't let this guy intimidate you!

Ugh. This is a totally icky thing that your ex is doing and I’m sorry you have to deal with this kind of drama. But while I know that your secrets being exposed to everyone around you is a terrifying thought, the first thing you need to do is calm down and not freak out. Most likely, your ex is just saying this to try to get your attention, and he’s not going to actually spill your secrets. However, this still isn’t something you should completely ignore.

I have no idea how you guys broke up or what happened between you two, but it sounds to me like your ex is feeling pretty bitter and angry right now. Maybe he’s not over you, maybe he’s trying to get back at you for some reason, or maybe he just wants you to pay attention to him – whatever the reason, you need to talk to this dude. Basically, ask him what his deal is, and if he’s angry about something, try to clear things up. Let him know that what he’s doing is totally uncool, and if this is his attempt to get you to be with him again, it’s never going to work.

No need to be ashamed!

If talking to him doesn’t work, try the opposite. Since what this really sounds like is a call for attention, try not giving him any. Ignore his threats and don’t beg him not to say anything – if he just wants a reaction out of you and he doesn’t get one, then he’ll probably eventually stop. Instead of panicking and freaking out, you need to be the mature one in this situation, since he obviously isn’t taking that role.

But if you honestly feel like he’s going to tell everyone your secrets, then you should get someone else involved, like your parents or a school counselor. If you involve someone else, he might get scared off and back down a little bit.

The main thing is to just move on with your life and not give this guy any attention that he doesn’t deserve. If everyone finds out your secrets, yeah, it will suck for a little while – but it won’t be the end of the world. Don’t let this dude blackmail you and ruin your life – no one should get away with that.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

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