I’m having issues with my boyfriend. He has cheated on me multiple times. And I’m still with him. I do not want to break up with him, but I do wanna let go of him cheating on me because it was in the past and it’s already been done and can’t be taken back. So how do I get over it?
No question about it, being cheating on stinks. Getting over something like that isn’t easy, and you can’t expect it to happen overnight, or even in a few months. I know that you want to forget about it and move on, but this is definitely something that’s going to require a lot of patience.
As much as you probably don’t want to talk about it, you should. I’m not saying that you and your BF have to discuss it every night, but make sure you two bring everything out into the open (if you haven’t already). Explain to him exactly how you feel and make sure he knows that he can’t cheat on you again. It’s okay to tell him how much he hurt you, because he needs to realize that his actions have consequences.
Once you’ve talked to him honestly about everything, try to stop thinking about what happened. I know it’s going to be super hard to get those images out of your mind, but the more you think about him with other girls, the more you’re going to make yourself upset. I’m not saying you have to forget about it completely – you shouldn’t do that, actually – but constantly having it on your mind is only going to make you miserable.
Also, don’t automatically assume that he’s going to cheat again. Yeah, it’s true that some cheaters don’t change. But that’s pretty much a stereotype, and so you need to learn to trust him again. Be cautious about what he does, but don’t be over the top about it (no stalking or snooping!). And while you have to learn to trust him again, he has to earn that trust. Let him know that he’s going to have to show you that he’s worthy of your trust again – meaning he should keep you filled in on what he’s doing and who he’s hanging out with.
Just please keep in mind that this is going to take some time. Some days might be worse than others. But if you really feel like this guy and this relationship is worth it, then moving past his cheating is something you need to do. You’ll never be totally happy with him if you have zero trust in him, or if you can’t stop thinking about him cheating on you.
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