Even if you’re generally more confident than Nicki Minaj, we all feel a little lonely or desperate at some point or another. Maybe someone just crushed your heart into itty bitty pieces or you’re the only one in your coupled-up crew riding solo. Whatever the reason, sometimes we slip and fall in life and then there’s desperation waiting for us like an unwanted old piece of toilet paper that just won’t come off your shoe.
The thing about desperation, no matter how unavoidable it is sometimes, is that it stinks and repels the very people you want to attract like nothing else. A guy? Oof. He can smell desperation on you a mile away like a puke-worthy, designer impostor perfume.
Here’s how to seem not quite so desperate:
1. DO have a life of your own.
The fastest way to seem desperate is to not have a life. If all you talk about is who you used to date, why you broke up and who you’re going to date next, you probably come across as desperate. Why not join a new club, get that job you always wanted or take up a new sport instead?
2. DON’T stalk your love interests and exes on facebook.
Social network stalking is tempting. There’s everything you always wanted to know about so-and-so all laid out and waiting for you. Even though no one else might know about your secret stalking, you will. Chances are that you’ll find out stuff about who he’s dating or the fun life he’s having without you that will make you feel worse about yourself. Why risk your dignity?
3. DO take control of your love life.
If there’s someone you like, ask ‘em out. Dropping hints can be confusing. Step right up with your big girl panties on and say with confidence, “Hey, my friends are gonna be at XYZ later if you wanna join us.” If you get rejected, no biggie. Smile and move forward.
4. DON’T hate on your friends’ love lives.
So your friend is always going on and on about her dude and all you can think is “Why do you have someone and I don’t?” Instead of throwing her the shade of desperation because you’re lonely, listen when you can, give helpful advice when asked and find fun stuff to get into the rest of the time.
5. DO be true to yourself.
Don’t pretend to be someone else just to get attention. Dress the way you want to be treated. Your look is part of your self-expression, not a billboard to scream your latest crisis. Give yourself a makeover to signal your new life but to thine own fabulosity be true.
6. DON’T rip down anyone else to impress a guy or to feel better about yourself.
Being catty and bitchy is a false high. The temporary boost you might get wears off and then there’s just you with your low self esteem again.
7. Most importantly, DO celebrate being single.
If you feel like taking a break from dating go for it. There’s nothing wrong with being single. This can be the most awesome gift you give to yourself, singlista. Enjoy it!
Have you ever had to tell a friend they seemed kind of desperate? How did you do it? Tell us in the comments!
Now, find out if you Make A Good First Impression!