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queefing
Queefing during yoga is like sweating while running. It's going to happen!
Group yoga is pretty intimate. You stretch and sweat with a group of strangers while bending your body into unusual positions. Last week, as my yoga instructor pushed a girl’s leg back, a loud trumpet sound bellowed from her nether regions. You could have heard a pin drop. Just when I was about to feel really bad for the teacher positioned between her legs, the girl said, “FYI, that wasn’t a fart!”
A queef is also known as a vart, meaning vaginal fart, vegan fart or a fanny fart to my British friends. Basically it’s breaking wind from your vag rather than your anus. It can happen during sex or physical activities like yoga or pilates.
The first time I experienced a queef I was completely mortified, but I got over it pretty quickly. Queefs happen!
Queefing 101
1. What is a queef?
A queef is the sound and action of air being emitted from your vagina. Although it’s considered to be a fart from your vagina, there are no intestinal gasses being expelled so there is no odor.
Yes, Jackie. That was totally a queef.
2. When do queefs happen?
Queefs happen when there is air pushed into the vagina and then it is expelled. You can’t predict a queef but they can happen when fingers or a penis move in and out of your vag, trapping air inside of you. What goes in must come out.
3. What should I do if I queef?
There is no such thing as an unacceptable reaction when it comes to the natural processes of your wondrous body. Just laugh it off. It’s no big deal. One of my BFFs says that she jokes, “That’s what happens when it’s really good.”
4. How can I avoid queefing?
You can’t prevent queefing for sure but really, why are you so worried about this? As you and your partner get to know each others’ bodies you may notice all sorts of quirky things. This is what makes us beautifully (okay, and hilariously) human.
South Park likes to make fun of queefing all the time!
5. What do guys think of queefing?
If a dude is experienced, chances are he’s experienced a queef or two already. If not, it’s still okay. Embarrassing things may happen on either side. This is why it’s a good idea to have sex with someone you trust and feel super comfortable with. Some guys even find queefs erotic. One guy even told me that he feels like it’s like a burp after the best burger. (I know, weird. But whatever.)
6. I queefed. So now what?
So you feel awkward for a moment. You’re not the first woman to queef in front of another person and you won’t be the last. You won’t enjoy yourself if you’re worrying about what your body might do.
7. Why do queefs exist? To punish us?
I’m convinced that queefs exist to make us all take things a little more lightly and remember that sex (and yoga!) is supposed to be fun. You should be able to smile and laugh in bed and on your yoga mat. There is no reason to be ashamed of natural body functions.
Have you ever queefed? What happened? Tell us in the comments!
Want a laugh? Check out this cute comic about granny panties! Too funny!
queefing
The first time it ever happened was with my boyfriend (now husband of 5 years) like the first week we were having sex. We did it so so often that it must have just been way too much air up in there and I was MORTIFIED. I knew exactly what it was, and had always prayed that it would never happen to me (that and farting during sex) but it did. He looked at me for a second and started to laugh and I was just like “too much air it’s a lot of air” LOL!!! and just kept going, I didn’t laugh at all I didn’t want to make it worse. Fast forward to this past week, 7 years after the only time I queefed with him, and it happened again. And again he had a look of like “whoah!” and I just said “too much air” and he finished it off with “yeah a lot of air” and we kept going. lol So now I’ve done it twice in the span of 7 years with the same man at least. It’s embarrassing but we all do it and honestly I’d rather do it in front of him and him alone, vs. an entire class of strangers. Now THAT I’d have to get up and leave. I’d be dying. It’s pretty cruel though that we have to deal with all of this stuff. Queefing, periods, possible boobs coming out of bathing suits. Guys have it so easy. And they can fart in front of anyone and it’s totally laughed off and fine.
One of the first times I ever queefed was with my now husband, then boyfriend. We were having some pretty intense sex and then he began to go down on me and I felt the queef come out. In my head I was panicking, but he seemed not to notice and continued. Eventually (about a year later), he was joking with me and brought it up saying that I farted on his face, which I felt was worse than a queef because queefs don’t smell. I immediately defended myself and he just laughed it off saying not to worry about it. So it was fine. I did just recently start yoga though and I’m hoping it doesn’t happen there!