Real (Funny) Talk: New Year’s Resolutions

 

new year's resolutions

 

If you’re anything like me, your New Year’s resolutions don’t deviate that much from year to year. From the same old fitness goals to the one random, wildly ambitious idea to learn German/knitting/tap, maybe it’s time we get real about what we’re saying…and what we actually mean!

 

 

 

 

 

Love

She said: Sign up for Match.com! Or at least start letting my friends set me up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: If I’m single on Valentine’s Day someone is getting kicked in the crotch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

School:

She said: Tackle those four piles of papers I keep pushing around my desk and get organized!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Sweep all of them into the trash can and then act shocked and angry when I realize the notes for my Chem final went with them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fitness

She said: Get fit! Gym 3x a week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Buy Spanx.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Diet

She said: No sugar, no processed foods!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Buy diet pills.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Style

She said: Stop going to class in a hoodie and yoga pants. Blow out my hair and put on makeup every day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Switch from medicated chapstick to tinted Softlips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Family

She said: Call Grandma more!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Once a week, respond to one of her trillion email forwards of animated angels, cousin Carly’s new baby or anything titled “Critters!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Social Media:

She said: Stop stalking ex on Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Switch to Twitter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finance:

She said: Pay off credit card!!!!?!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I mean, is dying in debt really so bad if you die wearing that amazing  Balmain mini??

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you think about New Year’s resolutions? Silly or totally serious? Tell us in the comments!

Now, find out if you Make A Good First Impression with this Quiz!


Posted in: Being Yourself, Body Image, For Laughs, Quizzes & Fun, Spotlight On, Uncategorized, Your Life
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  • sara

    This year I want to get out of my shyness and be popular !!!

    • Lauren

      oh my gosh thats what mine was!
      so far still dont even wear skirts or talk to some guys
      no progress at all

  • Jasmine

    Mine is to be a little more tidy, get rid of my muffin top, and get ready for HIGH SCHOOL!!!!

  • Victoria

    This year I am going to loose weight, cause I’m 13 and I was 1 pound away from 300 pounds. I have already lost some weight, my way is going to follow this 7:23 minute yoga video to loose weight for beginners. 4 times a week, easy. Its says to drink alot of water, I already do. Eat healthy, I am somewhere near that track.

  • KC

    Hilarious. I love all of these “she said, she meant.” Keep them coming or else I won’t have anything else to look at when I need a good laugh!

    • likeitlikeann

      yeah me to i want you guys to do mind – i want to find confidence this year and study hard plus to focus on boys and focus on my books