If you’re anything like me, your New Year’s resolutions don’t deviate that much from year to year. From the same old fitness goals to the one random, wildly ambitious idea to learn German/knitting/tap, maybe it’s time we get real about what we’re saying…and what we actually mean!
She said: Sign up for Match.com! Or at least start letting my friends set me up.
She meant: If I’m single on Valentine’s Day someone is getting kicked in the crotch.
She said: Tackle those four piles of papers I keep pushing around my desk and get organized!
She meant: Sweep all of them into the trash can and then act shocked and angry when I realize the notes for my Chem final went with them.
She said: Get fit! Gym 3x a week!
She meant: Buy Spanx.
She said: No sugar, no processed foods!
She meant: Buy diet pills.
She said: Stop going to class in a hoodie and yoga pants. Blow out my hair and put on makeup every day!
She meant: Switch from medicated chapstick to tinted Softlips.
She said: Call Grandma more!
She meant: Once a week, respond to one of her trillion email forwards of animated angels, cousin Carly’s new baby or anything titled “Critters!”
new years resolutions
She said: Stop stalking ex on Facebook.
She meant: Switch to Twitter.
She said: Pay off credit card!!!!?!!!
She meant: I mean, is dying in debt really so bad if you die wearing that amazing Balmain mini??
What do you think about New Year’s resolutions? Silly or totally serious? Tell us in the comments!
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new year’s resolutions