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Celibacy
Sex is great for some people, but what about those girls who aren’t ready to give it all up yet? It might seem like we talk about doing the deed a lot here on Gurl, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t fully aware that some of you girls are more into the idea of abstinence. And when we saw this post on the message boards, we decided that we had to know: what do you think about celibacy? Is it a good idea, or is it an outdated thing that just doesn’t seem practical?
Read what these girls had to say about the idea of celibacy, check out our opinion, and then let us know what you think in the comments.
whitnei92 said:
I’ve really been considering practicing this whole celibacy thing for many reasons. I just wanted to see if anyone here was/is celibate and how things are/were going during your journey.
Don't wanna wait? Totally up to you.
stayclassy replied, saying:
I don’t believe in not having sex until you get married. I need to know that the person I am marrying is sexually compatible with me, that we have sexual communication. Sex is healthy in a relationship, as well as an important part.
That being said, you don’t have to sleep with every guy that comes your way. You don’t have to choose one extreme (sleeping with everyone) or the other (not having sex until you’re married). You can just be extremely choosy about who you sleep with. Maybe you can have sex with a boyfriend only when you are committed.
nyctimene replied, saying:
I’ve been celibate since early 2007. I’m not dating, so that makes it easier but I guess I could be out there ‘hooking up’ (which I used to do). It’s really not that bad. People act like if you don’t have sex 5x a week, you’ll shrivel up and die and it just makes me laugh. I only miss sex very occasionally.
If you ever get the ‘urge’, that’s what masturbation is for. 
It’s a lot faster and safer (in terms of pregnancy and STDs).
You don't have to be a nun, or religious, to be celibate.
I personally really enjoy it. It seems like the boards are full of girls freaking out that they’re pregnant, that they have STDs, that they need to get birth control or their birth control is making them ill and real life isn’t much better. When you’re celibate, you don’t have to deal with any of that.
What do we think? Celibacy is totally a matter of opinion. If you want to be celibate, we say, go for it! There’s nothing wrong with it, and nyctimene makes a great point when she says it’s the safest way to avoid STD’s and pregnancy. If you’re more comfortable not having sex at all, or waiting to have sex, then you should absolutely wait.
However, there’s also nothing wrong with enjoying sex as a teen girl. stayclassy made another great point when she said that it doesn’t have to be one extreme or the other. If you want to sleep with your sweetie (or anyone else for that matter), no one should make you feel bad about that.
What do you think about celibacy? Who do you agree with? Have you ever tried it, or would you ever try it? Tell us in the comments.
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Celibacy
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For me, I’m going to wait til marriage. I’m not religious, so that doesn’t affect my decision. To me sex should be a done when you share a special connection with someone whom you love, trust, and respect and vice versa. To me, the ultimate form of this connection is marriage. (Yes, I know not all marriages last and feelings/people change) Even If my marriage wasn’t to last I’d feel better losing it to a exhusband than to a exboyfriend. Sure, I know divorcing a husband might hurt a lot more.I don’t think people have to practice abstinence if they share this “connection” with a boyfriend, but I’d rather wait. I don’t think people should slept with many random others regardless of if it’s safe or not, but I guess it’s there body to do what they want with it. That’s just my opinion, I’m not about to go into some bs about respecting one’s self. At the end of the day people are going to do what they want and I’m not going to go out of my way to judge someone who sleeps around or not. People have more things to be worried about in life, but that’s my take on the whole abstinence thing. Not trying to offend anyone.
I’m a 16-year-old Christian virgin, my boyfriend is a 20-year-old Christian virgin. While I agree sex is an important part of a marriage (and I’ve had my own apprehensions about sex…”*That* has to go *there*??”…it’s important to me that we save ourselves. I wouldn’t want to date someone who wasn’t a virgin, unless they were truly repentant of their decision.
Sex is a really important part of a relationship, whether or not people who are celibate choose to admit it. Although I find it admirable to want to save yourself for someone you plan on spending your life with, you want to know you are compatible physically as well as emotionally. Also, establishing a physical connection deepens your emotional connection with your partner. Exploring physical boundaries with another person will help you realize what you want in a sexual partner.
I made these “rules” for myself about sex when I was 12: 1) I would wait until I was 18 at the youngest, 2) It would have to be with a guy who truly loved me and I loved him, 3) We’d plan it out a few days before so we’d be completely ready, 4) He’d wear a condom and I’d have birth control and 5) I would make sure I was absolutley, possitivley, 100% certain this is the right choice for me and only me.
i completely agree with you dee,when i get married,i want my husband to know that i love him more than life itself and i plan on showing that to him by giving him my virginity. im a christian and im only 14 but thats what i want to do.i dont judge other people when they have sex pre-marriage because thats their choice.im single and still a virgin and plan to stay that way until marriage because thats my choice.just as i dont judge people on their beliefs about sex,i expect the same back.