My Boyfriend Watches Porn. Should I Be Worried?

Boyfriend Watching Porn

Caught him in the act? Don’t panic!

Dear Ethan,

I know my boyfriend watches porn and it kind of freaks me out. Is a guy watching pornographic movies something to be worried about?

As I mentioned in a previous post, studies show that men do think about sex more than women. Perhaps because of this, men masturbate more than women (shocking, I bet, to anyone who’s ever met a man), which studies such as the famous “Kinsey Reports” also show. But why do some of us need porn to get the job done?

According to Nature Neuroscience, men are more responsive to sexually arousing images, as opposed to women, who are more easily satisfied using their imaginations. Men are biologically “programmed” for quick arousal in order to potentially reproduce easily and often. And online porn, of course, not only provides a deluge of visual stimulation, but is instantly accessible.

Now, there are some (like Dr. Phil, for example) who believe that watching porn is a form of cheating. I think that only makes any sense if you also believe that all masturbation is cheating – because trust me, with or without porn, no man is thinking of the same person every time he masturbates. In addition, I know of no study which has found any correlation between porn-watching and cheating in real life. In fact, I would argue that for many men, porn offers an outlet that greatly lessens the possibility of cheating.

If he’s checking this out, he could actually be less likely to cheat.

I believe that pornography only poses a threat to your relationship if the guy is being evasive or lying about it, is increasingly losing interest in the bedroom, or neglecting other responsibilities because of porn. Any of these symptoms may be signs of actual addiction — in which case, it’s time to call the producers at A&E’s Intervention.

So casual porn watching is not only something to not worry about, it can also be very healthy. If you’re willing to experiment, it might even be a good idea to try watching porn with him some time. Sharing an experience like that might benefit your relationship sexually or emotionally. Or at the very least, you’ll share a laugh over a ridiculous “pizza delivery guy” plotline or two.

Good luck!
Ethan

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

Need more dude advice? Read about if they care if you shave down there.


Posted in: Ask A Guy, Dating, Help&Advice, Love Advice, Sex
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  • Confused :/

    My boyfriend of 5 years has always looked at pictures of naked and half naked girls, from when we strarted dating to this day. He says he doesnt watch porn, but I’ve seen the history on our laptop so i know he’s lying. It never really bothered me at first, i always told myself it was normal for guys to do that. But deep down i don’t like the fact of him looking at other naked women. Im now 5 months along with our first baby, and I saw on his phone, that he was looking at naked girls. So i checked the history, to be sure. Everyday he looked at porn, was on our weeked we had off together, he complains he’s tired, or has other things to do, then spend time with me. So seeing that he had time for these naked girls and not me, got me very upset. I dont know what to think, i tried to talk to him about how i felt and he blew it off… im not to sure on what to do now, any advice would help. Thank you.

  • dontknowwhattodo

    I dont know what to do and I cant talk to anyone about it, not even my boyfriend of four years. He watches porn yet when I ask him he says no. A few days later I would find the history tjat he forgot to delete. I then ask him about it and has excuses about it. I cant help to think that im not good enough and that he goes out into the world and has sex with other girls. There are alot of them that like him and are his ‘sisters’. I started out as a ‘sister’ to him..

    then I would find conversations between him and these girls and he would lie or have excuses again.

    I dont know what to do. Is he cheating or is he just bored with me?

    thank you for this site other things have been cleared out in my head xx