From The Message Boards: How Do You Feel About Sex On The First Date?

Sex On The First Date

Going all the way on the first date: yes or no?

Okay, so that hottie you’ve been crushing on all year finally asked you out. You’re really psyched and the night is going great. Before you know it, it’s over and you two are making out on his bed. Now comes the big question: do you go any further, or do you keep things PG?

Sex on the first date is something that always sparks a conversation. Does it make you look bad? Or is it no big deal? It’s something we’re always wondering about over at Gurl, so we were excited to see this message board post about it. Check out what these girls had to say about going all the way on a first date and then tell us what you think.

katiemydear90 said:
Me and this guy (had sex) on Saturday. It was the first time we ever went out. He texted me Sunday but has not called since then. I wrote one more text.
I am wondering whether he just wanted to bang me and not date 🙁
What do you guys think about sex on the first date?

anothercupoftea said:
How long should one wait? Because my current boyfriend and I “waited” until our third date to have sex.  The sex was spectacular then, and the sex is spectacular now–after almost a year and a half.  And there is no indication of him leaving me anytime soon. 🙂

I don’t know why you feel it is okay to tell other girls that, if they have sex with a guy sooner than you think they should, their relationship with the guy is predetermined to result in failure.  It’s silly and preachy and has no necessary truth to it.

hero_of_the_day said:
I’m not saying it’s wrong to want to have sex. I’m just saying it’s a better idea to wait, especially if you want a relationship, because many times a guy will use you for sex and then ditch you. It’s hard to tell who the good guys are sometimes. Since he’s not talking to her, it sounds like that’s what he did.

Knocked Up is one example of what could happen...

While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a girl being sexual and wanting to have sex, in general, we’d say that sex on the first date might not be the best idea. Before you disagree with us, consider this: having sex on the first date could give someone the wrong impression. That might not be fair, but unfortunately, it’s how a lot of people think. As our trusty advice-giver Ethan says, guys enjoy chasing a girl a little bit. That opinion aside, what we’re most concerned about is you getting hurt. Jumping into sex with someone you probably have feelings for is never a good idea, whether you’re a girl OR a guy.

In our opinion, getting to know this person a little bit more before you get into bed with them is not only a better idea, but it’s also a safer one. But what it really comes down to is what you think: if you’re feeling really comfortable with this person and it feels right, go for it. Just be careful and remember to use a condom!

Who do you agree with? Have you ever had sex on the first date? What happened after? Tell us in the comments.

Posted in: Discuss, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sex
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  • debbie

    I dont see anything wrong. I think mostly girls dont do it because it is seen as slutty and being “loose”
    I think girls love sex as much as guys but there is a stigma attached to girls letting themselves GO. With guys they are looked on as really cool if they are able to achieve having sex on the first date.
    I personally lost my virginity on my first date to a guy I had just met. He was gorgeous and I really wanted to do it with him. To me it was my choice and I didnt believe anyone could make up or should make up my mind for me. I wanted it and I was going to get it with the guy I fancied that day.
    We ended up doing it several times that day. I was turning 14 and he was an older French backpacker. He sounded fascinating. He had travelled all over the world and his stories and his experiences were so interesting. He knew I was still in school but he was so cool about my age. It didnt bother him at all. He was charming, attentive and really cool. I really thought he deserved my virginity and we made love several times that day. It was such a great experience. I just believed it to be right. It felt good and I had no regrets. I think his age, his maturity and wisdom and his varied experiences were all too attractive. I dont think I could ever find those qualities in guys my age. 🙂

  • CityGIRL

    In my experience, sex on the first date depends on the situation. I had sex on the first date, but then again I think it was the alcohol that helped in my decision. That relationship ended up being a friends with benefits kind of thing, and it was great while it lasted but I wanted more but not with him.
    On the other hand, the guy I’m with now, we wanted to have sex on our first date, there was really strong chemistry between us, and a really strong desire. However I was on my period, and I also wanted to wait because I didn’t want to make the same mistake I did with the guy mentioned above. I ended up staying the night, nothing happened except for some serious making out but I’m glad I did. The second date, which happened the following night, we did have sex and it was amazing. I’m glad I waited because I actually got to see that he respected me, and our second date he didn’t suggest doing anything at all, it was all me 😉

  • Angela

    Um, sex on the first date definitely means you’re not looking for anything serious! That is absolutely wrong in my opinion, and slutty! You cannot turn sex into a relationship! Have some dignity for yourself and keep your pants on and get to know your partner! If you really cared about your body or the guy you’re going on a date with you’d wait a few months to see if you’re bonding. 🙂

  • PVR

    sex on the first date……….. is it importand ????
    i dont think so…….. you can’t do sex on the 1st date…. you dont know what the guy is real couple for you or not…. tonight you’ll make sex, who knows next week you’ll not meet other guy more handsome than your guy….. and then you like him and make a date. would you make a sex again with other guy ??? we can not guarantee our heart will be locked with one guy , because you’are not married yet….
    i think, all women make sex after they marry with their couple….

  • woop whoop

    honestly, i have had sex on first dates a couple of times. i dont see anything wrong with it . having sex on the first date doesnt mean the relationship cant go on

  • Misha

    Personally i think people should wait to have sex anyway b.c. it gives you time to know the person. Sex is more than just physical, once you are involved with a person in that way it becomes emotional and the more you grow to know that person, the more you can decide if you really want ot deal with the emotional connection to the person. Men can detatch themselves emotionally during sex, some women can, but most women cant. Therefore sex on the first date is very risky. Not to mentiono that there are uncurable STD’s circulating and its obvious that on the first date you and this person havent gotten tested with eachother yet. So you dont know if they got HIV or other deadly virus. Dont Risk Your Life!

  • Niamh

    “having sex on the first date could give someone the wrong impression”

    ^Exactly WHO will be getting the ‘wrong impression’ here? The guy? Well he had sex on the first date too, so how does he have ANY room to judge her. Besides, if a guy is going to judge you for being a sexual human being (especially when HE had sex too), then he is NOT worth any more trouble. Hopefully the sex was good.

    So who else will be making the ‘wrong impression’ of the girl?

    This article is also a bit annoying because it’s giving the impression that “girls want the relationship, guys want the sex.” News flash… some girls just want the sex. 😉 And even if one wants a relationship, having sex on the first date doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship can’t bloom.

    Instead of saying “It’s not the best idea…”, just say “be safe, and don’t have too many expectations in the beginning. If you want to have sex, have sex safely. You just met this person, so he may or may not have the same intentions as you, be aware of that. Use a condom.”