rigged secret santa
It was December of senior year of college, and I’d spent the last four years harboring a secret crush on Pat, this shy kid from my writing classes. I didn’t know Pat very well, but our few conversations (and the hours I spent Facebook stalking him) convinced me there was a pretty defin-ish chance we were soul mates.
Spurred on by teary viewings of Love Actually and a few too many glasses of spiked cider, I decided that if I was going to win this guy over, I had to do it right, and at Christmas.
Every year, I would help organize a department-wide Secret Santa Exchange, which I treated with reverential solemnity. When I saw that Pat was planning on participating in the exchange for the first year ever, I saw my chance: I would rig the drawing to ensure that I would get him, win him over with my perfect gifts, and then live happily ever after. Santa would understand.
Up until this point, I had never so much a cheated on a test, let alone something I actually took as seriously as the annual Secret Santa exchange, so it was with some trepidation that I folded the slip of paper with Pat’s name an extra time so I could find it in the bowl. When the time came to draw names, I made sure that I went first. I pretended to fish around, but instead zeroed in on the piece of paper that said “Pat”. I pulled it out, read it, and pretended to be surprised. “Cool,” I said as non-chalantly as I could muster, avoiding Pat’s gaze at all costs.
The next step was easy: buying Pat the perfect presents. For this, my hours of Facebook stalking came in handy. (It’s not creepy if it’s for Christmas, right?!) I knew Pat loved Harry Potter, so I picked out a Ravenclaw scarf. (Not Gryffindor, because I wanted him to know I appreciated the complexities of the Hogwarts House system.) I saw his favorite candy was Charleston Chews, so I left a huge stack in his mailbox. Finally, I noticed a Facebook status about a long-lost movie from his childhood: I tracked down the DVD and got it for him.
“How’s secret santa going for you?” I casually asked him in the quad one day.
“Dude, my secret santa is awesome!” He beamed.
“Really? Lucky…” I responded cryptically, then raced back to my dorm to scream in my pillow.
The day of the department Christmas Party came, and it was finally time to reveal ourselves.
“Hey, Ravenclaw.” I said to him, as smoothly as one possibly throw around Harry Potter Jargon.
“It was you?! Oh my god, I loved everything! Come here!” Pat said, and drew me into a hug. We were inseparable for the rest of the night, and for the rest of the year after that.
Moral of the story: Cheating is bad. But not when you do it in the spirit of Christmas.
Have you ever done something a little shady to get your crush’s attention? Tell us in comments!
rigged secret santa