Hi Ethan,

What does it mean when your boyfriend says hes not in the mood for sex when he usually is? What guy wouldn’t want it if he was offered? I don’t understand… could there be someone else?

I know, it’s hard to believe that any guy would turn down sex. With our constant ogling and undying urges, what breast-and-butt-addicted animal would refuse a free fix?

Alright, so maybe we don’t actually think about sex every seven seconds, but a recent study by Ohio State University reveals that men do, in fact, think about it twice as much as women. Human beings are biologically driven to reproduce and protect their own genes—and while women do this by carrying a baby for nine months, a man can theoretically continuously spread his seed, which might promote an increased male sex drive.

Of course, such primitive motives have been watered down immensely in modern times. We’ve come a long way since our caveman days! The modern man is certainly more sensitive and emotional than ever before, and traditional gender roles continue to blur further. Perhaps it occurs less frequently than amongst women, but it is possible for a guy who’s feeling especially depressed, distracted, or insecure to not be in the mood for sex…even if he finds you attractive.

Sean didn't want to get down with Hanna on Pretty Little Liars

So I would take his initial declining of sex at face value. If you have a strong relationship to begin with, ask him what’s wrong and believe his answer. A more important gauge is how your boyfriend acts within the rest of the relationship. Is he distant in conversation? Has he been cancelling or avoiding plans? If his disinterest in sex continues for a longer period or broadens in other ways, it could be indicative of a larger problem which should be addressed. But don’t jump to the conclusion that your man is cheating from one isolated incident… he might just be feeling fat and bloated from that bean burrito he ate at lunch.