first date etiquette

Adventures like this? Probs not on the first date, sweets.

First dates? Tough. And let’s be honest gurls, second dates aren’t that easy either. They tend to put strange thoughts into our head. We get all caught up in thinking too far into the future that we can end up totally ruining the here and now. You picture the wedding you guys are gonna have (intimate yet splashy). The house you’ll buy (gut and completely rebuild). The private school you’ll send your children to (where they experiment with performance art and fancy drugs you’ve never heard of). It can be exhausting! But it’s so hard to put all those future thoughts far far away and just focus on the fun at hand.

One thing that can put the kibosh on a new relationship, is the dreaded over-share. Don’t get me wrong, sharing is great in a relationship, a must, but on a first date I think a little discretion might be even more important. It’s the perfect time to use a little “She said, she meant!”

No sob stories! No, No, No!

1- TALK ABOUT THE EX

She said: ”My ex-boyfriend and I ended as friends. He really taught me a lot about being in a relationship.”

She meant: ”He taught me all the things I DO NOT want. Someone who’s lazy, cheap, spends way too many hours watching ESPN with his buddies, has questionable fashion sense, everyone knows you can’t wear white after Labor Day! It’s just embarrassing. And did I tell you about that one time when I was crying and he . . . ”

2- MY PARENTS

She said: ”My mom and dad are a little over protective. They can’t help it, I’m their only child.”

She meant: ”Seriously, my dad knows people who know people who will hurt you if you break my heart, not that that’s your plan… or is it?”

3- MY HOT BEST FRIEND

She said: ”My best friend is kind of a homebody. She’s a little socially awkward.”

She meant: ”She’s hot, like, really, really hot. Don’t ever think of meeting her. Not gonna happen!”

This isn't even enough food for Mr. Hamster!

4- EATING HABITS

She said: ”Oh, no, really! They have plenty of vegetarian options here at the steak house!”

She meant: “Really? You brought a vegetarian to a steak house? But you’re cute and you seem to not be completely insane, so I guess I’ll stick it out and order another side of broccoli. Lucky me!”

5- TWEET TWEET

She said: ”I use Twitter, but I only tweet to my friends.”

She meant: ”And by friends I mean my fans. It’s not my fault people want to know what I think about candy, puppies, politics, tattoos, farming, eyeliner trends…”

6- WE ARE WHAT WE WEAR

She said: ”This old thing, I just threw it on. It’s just what I feel comfortable in.”

She meant: ”My BFF made me wear this! I can hardly breathe, my boobs are practically in my face, well, your face, and to top it off, I feel ridiculous, but apparently ridiculous is totally “in” since you haven’t stopped starring. Which I think i like.”

7- I BRAKE FOR DOGS

She said:  “I love dogs! But I mean, I’m not a crazy dog person or anything.”

She meant: ”I only dress Bowzer up on the big holidays. Halloween, Christmas, Earth Day. He likes it. He does.”

What’s the weirdest thing somebody’s said to you on a date? Tell us in the comments!