My friends always tell me that I shouldn’t ask a guy out because they love to chase girls and asking them out would turn them off. Is this true? Do guys really LOVE to chase girls around?
Want the short answer? Yep, guys love to chase gURLs. But that doesn’t mean gURLs can’t ask guys out, provided that they keep a few things in mind. The long answer – the one which will help you get your man – requires a bit more explaining.
While honesty is generally the best policy, there’s also a time when a little “game playing” is appropriate. For example, at the very start of a new relationship, there’s no need to uncover everything about yourself at once, or to make yourself too available (“Sure, I can hang out Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or…I’M ALREADY OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE!”). Just as it repels females, desperation is about as appealing to males as Sex and the City. Maintaining some mystery throughout the first few dates will keep the guy intrigued.
However, you also don’t want to get too caught up in “strategy” and come off as disinterested, or worse, a jerk. It’s not about intentionally ignoring his phone calls or insulting his grandmother. Just pace things out a bit. Reveal your feelings gradually. Give him time to look forward to your next date. Once you’ve both established exclusivity, honesty and trust will replace gameplay entirely.
So no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a gURL asking a guy out. If the guy is interested, he’ll be excited by your confident overture. But once you make your move, step back and allow that guy to take some initiative. If you continue to assume control, he might feel emasculated; relentless advances may turn him off. And if he is cool with you running the entire show, you’ll likely be the one to lose interest first.
Now go out there and make that boy chase you! (But if he takes too long, suggest dinner and Happy Feet 2.)
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org!