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Blair and Dan tried being just friends... um... didn't work out too well.
It’s one of the biggest debates ever (okay, so maybe not ever, but when it comes to love, definitely): can men and women really just be friends? Some people say that they can’t because there will always be some kind of attraction from at least one person between them. But doesn’t that seem a little bit ridiculous? Shouldn’t a guy and a gURL be able to just be totally platonic without wanting to hook up? We started thinking about it after seeing this post in the message boards, and we want to know what you think. Check out these opinions and then tell us your own in the comments.
maemaeandjose asked:
I been thinking about this whole topic of can men and women be just friends? Of course there or exception to the rule, but I mean in general?
phunky-fresh replied, saying:
I think that at one point in time one person thinks of the other as more than just a friend. I’m not talking about having full on feelings but just a random thought that crosses their minds. It’s normal; you are two people from the opposite sex that are obviously attracted to each other in some way and that’s how you ended up as friends in the first place. No matter how close you are with someone it doesn’t mean they are going to just openly tell you, especially if they aren’t sure you are thinking the same, some people keep it hidden and then eventually the feelings fade. It happens, sometimes people are in denial and would like to think this isn’t the case.
But Alex and Meredith make it work!
a_wolves_spirit replied, saying:
Yes. I don’t understand why people have such a problem with this. You don’t “have” to have sex with every person of the other sex. You can, but just because they’re the opposite sex of you doesn’t mean you WILL.
So what do we have to say about this? Well, this kind of thing really depends on your situation. Sometimes it definitely seems like it’s not possible, but in the end we’d like to think that it is. It might sometimes (or most of the time) turn into something more, but there are plenty of people who can just be friends without hooking up. In our opinion, yeah, guys and gURLs can and should just be friends.
WDYT, gURLs? Who do you agree with the most? Have you had any kind of experience with this? Tell us in the comments.
Would You Rather?
Would You Rather?
I was friends with my bf before he asked me out, but I kinda had a crush on him anyways.
I actually find it easier to hang out with guys, although I don’t have THAT many guys friends. I mean, they’re hilarious, they don’t have the stupid drama girls do, and they don’t tease you about little things like “Let me count your pimples!” or “Woah is that your MOM’S shirt? EWWW…” like girls do. I have this one guy friend, he’s older but I’m like way shorter than him. I can ask him about stuff that none of my other friends would be able to answer. And plus, I’m kinda a tomboy so I can talk to guys about sports and stuff and they actually know what I’m talking about. Like I try to talk to the girls about sports and they’re all like “That’s nice, I don’t really care, nor do I know what the heck you’re talking about.”
IT IS TRUE THAT A GURL AND GUY CAN BE FRIENDS!!!!!!! NO RULE SAYS THEY CAN’T!!!!!!!! PLUS, IT’S UP TO THE PPL TO DECIDE WHETHER THEY R FRIENDS OR BF AND GF!
There was a study saying guys and girls can’t be best friends but I don’t agree!! My best friends and only friends are guys and there is nothing like that but sometimes I wish I were dating them! They are all nerds and no girls talk to them except me and no one thinks they are cute I tink they are smart and funny and extremely nice!
This is really hard to say. I mean, nearly every boy that I find attractive, and have been friends with, I’ve had a little fling for. My best friend, I used to have a crush on … But now, it’s nothing there. He’s my brother. Or maybe it’s because he’s gay…
BUT, anyways I think there is always going to be a little spark between a boy and a girl who find each other attractive, and hit it off and get along so well. It’s just if you choose to act on it, is the real thing that decides if anything is there.
Out of all the guys I’ve been friends with, like close friends, one of you is gunna start liking the other. Even if it’s just a little crush that only lasts a few days, or something more serious, does it matter? Relationships change over time, and whether yours will blossom into true love, or just BFF, it’s all good
Don’t be shy to speak about it to them though (if the feeling really isn’t going away), ’cause it’ll only become awkward as no-one can hide a crush on a close friend for long!
Of course they can, but sometimes its inevitable to feel something towards our guy/girl friends since we’re goin out and mingling to them every time.. that’s why others ended in “i fall in love with my best friend” but believe me most of it don’t lasts.. others realized its just an infatuation thing, you know.. friends make us laugh and we really have a great time whenever we with them, especially those opposite sex. we sometimes misinterpret our feelins, we thought we r fallin in luv but the truth is, we’r just bliss-filled when they wer der.. so it’s important 2 know ur feelin b4 u burst out and having guy/ girl friends is really fun.. and it’s possible to grow this sort of relationship without romantic stuffs..
oh and i forgot to add that i know he feels the same way, cause he’s always telling me that according to him, i have a penis hahahaa. he’s always teasing me about secretly being a boy hahah. and i’m pretty girly actually.
I have a ton of guy friends and i’ve never felt atracted to them so it’s obvious girls and guys can be friends. I think the question actually comes when you two are really close, like best friends, and that’s my case =) I have this guy friend, we are really close, talk every day, we tell each other everything, even ask each other for dating advice about the opposite sex, etc. He’s my best friend. So i do believe that real deep friendship between a girl and a guy is possible, however I’ll admit that there have been times when I’ve felt some kind of atraction towards him, but it doesn’t last more than like 2 days… and i’ve never felt like i could want a romantic relationship with him… because well, he’s my best friend! I could never be like in love with him hahaa, just thinking about it feels like ridiculous, i love that we are best friends! So yeah, i think these kind of friendships do happen, just not so often… guess that’s what makes them so special =)
I know! I’ve been in that exact situation too!
I am totally best friends with him, and our classmates also see it as that, and there would really be times that you’ll feel attracted to him, then after that: Nothing! He is just your best friend, and you know its a bit impossible to go on a romantic level… because, strangely, it just feels that way.
Anyways, I’m satisfied with this relationship, although there would be times that I may be like a jealous b*tch if someone gets his eye, I’m a bit possessive, with friends and romantic relationships alike… well, maybe its just me
i’m a gURL and i have a mixed variety of friends, my best friend is a guy! now that wer older pple make fun of us, but we ignor it, so its all cool
I don’t know. I guess that for me personally when I meet a guy or become close enough with them to talk on a regular basis then I think “What would it be like to date them, kiss them or hook up with them” depending on the person whether it crosses my mind more than once or not. I do think that after the attraction finished you can still be friends.
My best guy friend asked me out last year but I didn’t want to because I thought it would become awkward and even after rejection we are best friends!
Yes, I have guy friends that have no attraction towards me. There is no way of us ever hooking up. But yes some guys do fall for you but those friendships don’t last. Some guys are just there to be friends. I might be different because I am practically a guy but if you are a girly girl, most likely your guy friend probably likes you. Just stop hanging out alone with him!
Watch this if you want to know the answer to this question. This is a video survey of both men and women asking the same question we are asking ourselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
Yeah. Guys and gurls can totally be friends without benefits. My best friend is a guy and it has never been awkward or anything. We met in like first grade and we’ve been best friends ever since. He and i hang out alone all the time. One of my girl friends had a crush on him for a while, but not anymore. Now the three of us are inseparable and hang out constantly. It’s so stupid people always assume if guys and girls are friends they are automatically dating or have feelings for one another.
yeah right
And you honestly think that the thought of kissing you has never crossed his mind? It’s our biological nature to have those kinds of thoughts if we spend time with someone of the opposite sex, especially if we spend as much time together as you and your male best friend.
I think yes u can be “just friends” with a guy. Nd I dnt mean FWB. To Be Honest im friends with more den one guy and i neva had a crush on eitha one of em. I mite think of dem as bein a gr8 guy but if any 1 of tried to kiss me i’d probably feel uncomfortable or like ima throw up!. I h8 wen ppl think i like a guy just because we’re always hanging out or doin things together. Just because we’re 2 diff sexs doesnt mean we have anything more then a friendship
i speak from experience. you totally can be friends with out all the crap of a “RELATIONSHIP”!! what is wrong with people who think you cant, if you really want to then you can. allot of my friends are guys and they are all cool with me being a girl and I don’t care if they crack a couple jokes @ girls (or in my case guys) infact i like having dudes as friends, they dont pull all the bull girls do. its nice to have some girls to hang with sometimes but i really love having guy friends. now i am kinda lonely though since they started moving. *sigh* i really do miss all their no bull policies. best of wishes.
~Lexi
I have a guy friend, and we’ve been friends for like a year and a half. I actually developed a crush on him after we were friends were quite a while, although I don’t plan on doing anything about it (like making a move or anything), at least, for now. But I haven’t told anyone about it. Except my three bestest friends, of course, but they didn’t tell anyone either. But it’s weird, cuz it seems like society thinks that guys and girls can’t be just friends. Like my family is constantly teasing me and saying I like my guy friend, even though I deny it without blushing and all that, and my other guy friends always call my guy friend and I bf/gf. I deny that too, but I just can’t help but thinking, why can’t we just be friends… unless my guy friend secretly likes me back and thats why the guys are always teasing me and him. But seriously, I’m confused. I think that it’s good to have guy friends. They dont really gossip a lot, at least around my guy friends don’t, and it takes your mind off of the busy, crazy, complicated sometimes mean girl world out there.
I don’t understand why people believe a guy and a girl can’t NOT be friends without hooking up or developing feelings. I have been friends with this guy Nolan since we were 12 and we have NEVER hooked up. I think it’s stupid. I mean can two lesbians or gay people be friends without hooking up? of course. this whole thing is dumb.
My best friend Matt and I have NEVER EVER been anywhere close to being anything other than platonic. We met in 9th grade and have been inseparable like family ever since, long phone convos, sleepovers, the works. But as often as people suggest it, the idea of us ever being together just grosses both of us out (and i know this for sure because he’s told me lol)
I have a really close friend who’s a guy. I got to know him because I had feelings for him, but I don’t mind being one of the guys. It’s nice to have a different type of friendship than just talking; going all-out on Wii Sports isn’t something you get with girls. It’s possible to maintain friends and also to move up a level. It depends on the people and the situation.
Of course a man and a woman can be friends without hooking up. I don’t get why people think that a man and a woman are hooking up if they seem close.