From The Message Boards: Can Guys and gURLs Really Just Be Friends?

Blair and Dan tried being just friends... um... didn't work out too well.

It’s one of the biggest debates ever (okay, so maybe not ever, but when it comes to love, definitely): can men and women really just be friends? Some people say that they can’t because there will always be some kind of attraction from at least one person between them. But doesn’t that seem a little bit ridiculous? Shouldn’t a guy and a gURL be able to just be totally platonic without wanting to hook up? We started thinking about it after seeing this post in the message boards, and we want to know what you think. Check out these opinions and then tell us your own in the comments.

maemaeandjose asked:
I been thinking about this whole topic of can men and women be just friends? Of course there or exception  to the rule, but I mean in general?

phunky-fresh replied, saying:
I think that at one point in time one person thinks of the other as more than just a friend. I’m not talking about having full on feelings but just a random thought that crosses their minds. It’s normal; you are two people from the opposite sex that are obviously attracted to each other in some way and that’s how you ended up as friends in the first place. No matter how close you are with someone it doesn’t mean they are going to just openly tell you, especially if they aren’t sure you are thinking the same, some people keep it hidden and then eventually the feelings fade. It happens, sometimes people are in denial and would like to think this isn’t the case.


But Alex and Meredith make it work!

a_wolves_spirit replied, saying:
Yes. I don’t understand why people have such a problem with this. You don’t “have” to have sex with every person of the other sex. You can, but just because they’re the opposite sex of you doesn’t mean you WILL.

So what do we have to say about this? Well, this kind of thing really depends on your situation. Sometimes it definitely seems like it’s not possible, but in the end we’d like to think that it is. It might sometimes (or most of the time) turn into something more, but there are plenty of people who can just be friends without hooking up. In our opinion, yeah, guys and gURLs can and should just be friends.

WDYT, gURLs? Who do you agree with the most? Have you had any kind of experience with this? Tell us in the comments.

Posted in: Advice Gurl, Discuss, Discuss, Friends With Benefits, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sex
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  • daisy

    I think that at some point during the friendship, one will start having feelings for the other. Not necessarily full on head-over-heels, but a little tingly about them. This has happened to me a many of times, but if you just ignore them they eventually go away.

  • Princess986

    I believe that men and women can be platonic friends. My best friend is a guy and we have never slept with each other. Of course, when we first met there was an attraction but after we decided to be friends, it was great! Four years and still going strong!!!!

  • Luis

    06.10.11 at 6:05 pmHipster Ariel’s typewriter@ Anonymous, If we come acrsos as holier-than-thou , it’s only because we are. Every married man has run-ins with strange, but it’s not that big a deal to us because we know what the proper course of action is. The fact that you’d flirt, exchange numbers, meet her for drinks, and then ask us for advice about what you should do tells me that you’re a grade-A dickhead who doesn’t deserve what he’s got. Unless your wife is a total ball-busting whore, in which case you’ve got *exactly* what you deserve. Fuck you and fuck your defensiveness’. Die in a large chemical fire, but at least have the decency to leave your kids the insurance money. Evidently that’s the only way you can contribute to them.

  • Munchie

    Well sometimes girls and guys can be bestfriends & not want to be anything other than friends. But other times you can develop feelings or he could develop feelings. Most of the times the guy bestfriend turns into more than that. Because your guy bestfriend is that for a reason. You have alot in common, you know everything about each other. And usually that kind of relationship is the best kind. If you start out as friends you would most likely havea good relationship together.

  • Simplii_Natasha

    Now this is definetly a topic to discuss.. okay me and my guy friend has been friends since 7th g. we are close but we are not intimate.! when people sees us they automatically think we like each other. (which is totally normal to think on ur first impression), but although we do correct people and say we are just friends. people are still thinking in their brains that guys and gals cannot be friends.! that is incorrect.! a girl and a guy and totally be best friends without being intimate.!! just like how a girl can be friends with a lesbian without being intimate.!! Right.?!

    • Dharmraj

      06.09.11 at 7:08 pmSeanTo the guy with the bitch who skipped to St. Louis,Had almsot the exact same thing happen to me dude and please believe me when I say tell her emphatically that she is in fact a bitch, and a liar to boot. The only reason she told you about the other guy was to somehow make herself feel a little better about what she was doing, it was in NO WAY about her hurting your feelings, or trying to salvage some kind of friendship with you. IF you say her friend, you WILL get a call or a knock on your door when shit goes bad with the other dude and you’re the easy friend that gets to listen to her yammer on about it for hours, and then she’ll sink her claws into you because she sees you as stable. Fuck that shit. Not to be mean but if I could go back to 2006 when this happened to me, I wouldn’t be such an asshole.

  • Gloriann

    Yes,girls could be friends with boys I’m saying this by experience. One of my best friends it’s a boy and,I never wanted to be more than friends or him with me.

    • Scar

      Yeah, thats what i thought until my boyfriends best friend whos my best friend as well started hitting on me. I think someone has to initiate it for you to be able to rethink why they are your friend in the first place. Get me?