Comments on: From The Boards: Should You Lose Weight For Your Sweetie?

By: justaguy

justaguy — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 02:57:10 +0000

Honey, you’re living in a fairy tale. If you only love what’s on the inside, then you’re only loving, at most, half of that person. By your reasoning, a partner could go on a binge and completely destroy their health and looks… and the other partner would have just accept it. That doesn’t sound like a partnership. That sounds like hostage situation. True love seeks to strive and please the object of it’s affection. It’s something that’s mutually upheld by both parties. Anything else is just self serving. Once you’re in a committed relationship, you’re no longer the sole general manager of your life. Your choices, whether they be good or bad, have have an effect on your partner’s life. If you’re blimping out, and your sweetie is struggling with it, then you can’t just expect him or her to “just deal with it” and there not be any problems. The best thing you could do is to make a positive choice for your health and the relationship and suck it up… Lose the weight and get healthy. If it’s affection true love, then your significant other will support you… hell… Even join you.

By: A guy

A guy — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:34:05 +0000

Everyone is different, but I think it comes down to how you ask and that you do it in a way that doesn’t hurt your partner. Also, it’s probably less of a deal to ask a guy than to ask a girl, I still think women experience more pressure to look good. I was asked by my girlfriend if I could get rid of my gut and go for abs, and frankly I didn’t mind since I was already relatively fit.

By: StylesHearts

StylesHearts — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 14:05:26 +0000

It depends on whether you are a healthy weight or not. If he’s asking you to drop a few pounds because your curvy, and he has a problem, that’s totally wrong, and mean, considering most boys aren’t going to be perfect body builders – in that case he should learn to accept you, or leave you. On the other hand, if he’s asking you to drop a few pounds because he’s concerned about your health, it would be a good idea to listen to him he obvious he cares about you and wants to support him, so let him!

By: PrettyDemonEyes

PrettyDemonEyes — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:07:04 +0000

I am in a completely opposite situation. I am twenty-two and have a fiance who does not care about my size; he loves me no matter what. However, I recently gave birth to our beautiful son in June last year and am now disgusted with my body. Before pregnancy, I was a size three, and my boobs were awesome! Now, I am completely miserable because my boobs are lopsided with milk and am a size 10. I feel like a failure as to being the perfect trophy wife I always aspired to be and have explained all of this my hubby. He somehow still loves me. What I don’t understand is this: How can he love me if I don’t love myself? I was always taught that no one will love if I don’t love myself… so is he just saying these things or are we just not meant to be?

By: Medina

Medina — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 00:06:59 +0000

I used to be asked out in elementary school and it was a normal thing that happened and i know that it wasn’t a real relationship and i didn’t really care about the boys i dated or even liked them, but now that i am almost in high school, i haven’t had anyone ask me out. It doesn’t bother me that much, but when i first got into middle school, none of the boys asked me out and i realized that the girls that got asked out all the time were super skinny and i wasnt. I remember the summer of 7th grade, i said to myself, after a boy i liked totally rejected me, that i would lose weight so that i would have a boyfriend and when he asked me out, i would reject him, and worked super hard to lose weight and when i never did, i felt like no one would ever ask me out. It was ironic how when i didn’t really need to or want to date guys, i did, and when i did, i was single. But now i realise that weight doesn’t matter, love is love and when i find that special guy, i won’t have to change for him.

By: mandy

mandy — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 19:23:11 +0000

i agree.

By: mandy

mandy — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 19:22:54 +0000

well my thing is the same. you should not change for anyone but yourself. if u feel like you’ve gained weight and u think you should eat healthier than its completely up to you. don’t let anyone say u should do something that you don’t wanna do.

By: c

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 00:26:24 +0000

No. That is ridiculous. There is nothing unhealthy about being a size six…or, for the record, a 14. Most importantly, YOU need to love your body. If you don’t love it, it can be hard to find someone else who will.
When it comes down to it, your body is yours. It is really none of his business, even if you’re dating. If he thinks you’re being unhealthy, he can express concern, but there’s no reason for you to feel obligated to listen to him. And if he leaves because you’re not willing to become something you’re not comfortable with, he’s not worth it.
Personally, I’m a size 12. I eat healthy. I could exercise a little more, but I’m not overly concerned. I’m maintaining weight. More than anything else, I’m comfortable with my body. I used to try to do whatever it takes to keep a guy, including losing weight and changing how I acted. But soon enough, I wasn’t eating, I hated myself, and I couldn’t figure out who I really was anymore.

What do you feel is more important: Your happiness or his?

By: Top Cat

Top Cat — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 04:08:57 +0000

I absolutely agree. Anyone who asks you to change who you are is not worth your time. If they really love you they will love every part of you. If you feel healthy and great then that is all that matters.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 01:03:48 +0000

Just a thought…Personally, I don’t think its right for your sweetie to ask you to lose weight at any size, fat skinny, whatever. That’s not his/her business to tell you that, that’s something you have to come to on your own. If that person really loves you, then they won’t judge or even care about what size you are but they will love you for what’s on the inside (it may sound like a “fairytale” concept but it still exsists).