Job interviews can turn even the most level headed gURL into a complete basket case. Your head fills up with a million different questions–Should I wear my new wrap dress, or is a suit better? Does my resume look more professional on pink or lavender paper? Can I have Black Friday off so I can do all my X-mas shopping? It’s so much pressure. The funny thing about job interviews is that in so many ways they’re just like going on a blind date. You don’t even know if you like the job or want the job, but you definitely want that job to like and want you!
That’s why job interviews are the perfect time a little “She said, She meant” comes in handy. You can showcase the stuff that can help you land the job while hiding the stuff that should stay just between us gURLS.
1- I’M A PEOPLE PERSON
She said: “Waitressing at Bennigan’s last summer really improved my memory and turned me into a total people person.”
She meant: “I hated that job! Did you know you aren’t allowed to eat or drink anything for free? Hello! And people get so mean when you forget the ketchup.”
2-THE BIG 5 YEAR PLAN
She said: “In five years I hope to still be working here. I can’t imagine a better company to grow with.”
She meant: “’Where do I see myself in five years?’ Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m doing this weekend. Twilight will totally be sold out, my friends are pissed at me over that party I don’t want to go to, and I’m supposed to set up a study group with that kid who smells weird. Want me to ask my forutune teller app?”
She said: “A 401K, health insurance and free coffee. Where do I sign up?”
She meant: “All those things sound great but I was hoping for an expense account and access to box seats for all major concerts and events. I guess that comes in year two.”
She said: “Starting at the bottom is the best way to learn the business. I don’t expect any special treatment just because my uncle runs the company.”
She meant: “The only reason I’m here is for special treatment. Do I look like someone who’s interested in accounting? I’m pretty sure my Jimmy Choos say otherwise.”
She said: “Some people say I’m a typing expert. It’s probably because I practice all the time.”
She meant: “I don’t know how many words I type per minute but I text at least twenty times an hour. I live tweet even faster when watching a red carpet special during awards season.”
6-TRAVEL FOR JOB
She said: “My family moved around a lot so I feel very comfortable traveling for business.”
She meant: “So, you mean traveling to like, Paris and Tokyo, First Class, right? And of course I’ll need to bring my sweetie with me.”
She said: “I understand that interoffice romances are forbidden. You don’t have to worry about me. My career is my only relationship.”
She meant: “You don’t have to tell me that relationships and work don’t mix. Last week on yearbook staff Jake and Lulu broke up, Dylan cheated on Annie and Michael admitted to having feelings for Mr. Frankel. It was a total mess, and as Editor, I had to deal with the aftermath. Dra-ma!”
She said: “Everyone always jokes about how crazy I am about being on time. I think being late shows a lack of respect and I’m nothing if not respectful.”
She meant: “When a movie starts at 8, I’m there no later than 7:30. Like I said, it’s about respect and if my friends don’t respect me enough to be there on time so I can choose the perfect seats and get popcorn, then they are no friends of mine.
She said: “My biggest weakness is that I’m a perfectionist.”
She meant: “Seriously? How many times has she asked that question? Even she’s got to be bored with that one. She’s probably not even paying attention anymore. I could say just about anything . . . but I won’t.”
10- MY DIPLOMA
She said: “I graduated with honors.”
She meant: “It was an honor just to graduate.”
Are you getting ready for any big job interviews? Do job interviews make you feel nervous? Tell us all about it in comments!