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Um, yes. We'd say he's into you.
is he into me
As a lifelong dude, I’ve come to a pretty unshakable conclusion on the “co-ed friendship” issue. Once beyond puberty, a guy will only befriend a girl for three reasons:
1) She’s dating one of his buddies
2) He’s already dated her and has since moved on
3) He wants to make out
Let me put it this way: if your male friend isn’t joking about liking you, he might like you. If he is joking about liking you, then he definitely likes you. While you’re asking “Is he into me?,” he’s probably wondering why you haven’t kissed him yet!
But if you still need proof that your friend is into you, there are also some unmistakable physical signs:
You're honestly still wondering if he likes you? Seriously, gURL?
Persistent body contact
Hand slaps, shoulder squeezes, elbow grabs, booty bumps – all are obvious flirtations. Whether subtle or obnoxiously immature, touching is a way of getting physically closer to you.
Random calls and texts
Guys aren’t generally big phone talkers – that is, until they have a cool chick to chat with. I didn’t know how much I liked to talk about shoes and celebrity babies until I met my girlfriend. If your guy friend is calling or texting frequently without any apparent agenda, and the convos tend to ramble on playfully for hours, something amorous is brewing there…
Spending tons of time together
Do you spend more time with him than your roommate or bestie? Has he randomly showed up at your place of work just to “keep you company on your lunch break?” If he’s going out of his way to hang by moving plans around or showing up at the most random of places (e.g. your Twilight discussion group), he is clearly prioritizing you as more than a friend.
All of these indicate a potential pal-crush – detect two or more, and you might just be on the verge of a new romantic relationship!
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “Is he into me or not?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him here or put that in the comments, too!
Best Friends Quiz
Bra Quiz
ATTENTION LADIES OF GURL.COM:
Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to respond to individual questions via comments on this page any longer!
But if you DO have a burning question that can only be answered by a guy, please email it to askaguy@gurl.com, and I will answer it in detail at http://www.gurl.com/category/your-life/help-and-advice/ask-a-guy/!
Thanks so much!
-Ethan
http://ethanfixell.com
Dear Ethan!
So me and a co-worker hooked up one night as his party we both had a little too many drinks and ended up in sleeping with each other. After that we started hanging out almost every single weekend he would invite me to go over his house or go hang out with him and his friends but then all of the sudden be said we were getting too attached and should stop talking . Our thing that we had going on stop but we were still friends we didn’t make things awkward. About 2months passed & one night after both of us got off work late we decided to hang out watch movies which ended in us hooking up again. Now he sure treats me sweet when his friends call me his girlfriend he doesn’t say anything so I’m just confused cause i don’t know if he just wants to hook up with me.? or actually likes me and it’s really bothering me cause I’ve come to realize I like him.
Hi Stephanie,
I’d need a few more details to fully solve this one, but overall this guy sounds a bit confused himself, and quite possibly immature. He might not even know what HE wants, which makes it impossible for you to decide what you want. Either way, I would put some distance between you guys — try not to focus on him too much for some time, and he’ll probably end up coming back harder than ever. Then YOU can decide how you want to proceed with him…
Best of luck,
Ethan
Hey Ethan,
Theres this boy that I’ve known since elementary school. Ever since puberty, we’ve flirted, and everyone always says that they could see us being high school sweethearts. I have a lot going for me in high school, Im class president, debate team captain, 9th in my class of 700, and Im confident and pretty. I have “talked” to the popular upperclassmen boys, and I’ve always had a chance of having relationships, but Im terrified of being vulnerable; love scares the crap out me. This boy that I like is in my grade, he’s very good looking but he isn’t involved in anything, his grades aren’t fantastic, and we really have nothing in common; other than that we both sub-conciously like each other (I think.) When he actually talks to me, I get butterflies and feel the connection, and there have been points since high school began 3 years ago when we were definitely soooo close to being together. I know Im intimidated by relationships in general, but given that he has had a few relationships– I feel like if he were to really like me, he would show more of an interest unless maybe I’ve been sending the wrong signals.
I really don’t know what to do at this point: wether its time to give up on that little bit of hope that we could have something, or to force myself to stop being so scared and just go for him. Maybe you could give me some insight.
Thanks,
Courtney
Hey Courtney,
Why give up when you haven’t even tried yet!? It sounds like you’re just a little nervous, which is totally natural — but my vote is to go for it! If you can muster up the courage to ask him out, that’d be ideal. Then the ball is in his court and it’s his responsibility to keep the romance going.
Good luck,
-Ethan
Dear Ethan,
A couple of months ago, I started crushing on my best friend, and when I told my friends about it, they told me I should tell him how I really felt, and so I did… He said “ohh”. Later that day, he started talking to me like nothing happened and when I asked him if we’re going to act like nothing happened, he said “what do you want me to say” and I told him that I didn’t expect him to say anything and that we should just forget about it…
After a day of not talking much, we’re back to normal, but he always hints about me liking him, and asks me if I’m jealous, he even once told my best freind that he wants to write thing on her facebook wall just to make me jealous, and yesterday, we went out with a group of people and he was so amazing and he insisted A LOT on us taking a lot of pictures, and he ended up dropping me home. However, after all those hintings sometimes, I’m just not sure what to do, I mean I’m falling for him more every second, and all he does is flirt and hint that he likes me. I tell myself I shouldn’t like him because he doesn’t like me back, but everytime I do he does something nice or amazing, something only a guy would do to a girl he’s with… I dunno what to do!! and my friends, they’re not helping, they keep on telling me they’re sure he likes me, and I’m scared I’ll end up believing them..
Help Plz !
Hey Mary — it sounds like he’s either sending you the wrong messages, or is nervous about the fact that he’s totally into you! Since he doesn’t seem to have the courage to do so, you should make the first move (either asking him out on a date, or going for a kiss!) and see how he reacts. If he reciprocates, you know you’re in — if not, he’s either not feeling it, or too much of a scaredy-cat to date anyway. Your only other option is to cut him off entirely for some time, because you’ll drive yourself CRAZY if you let it drag out like this forever!
-Ethan
Hey ethan,
This is gonna be long. SO i hang out with my crush alot. And obviously he doesnt know. We usually just go out and eat pizza with our other friends and we’re alone, sometimes. He sits next to me and stares at me and smiles. At school, hes always asking if we are going to hang out later. And, one time, this guy wouldnt leave me alone, cause he wanted to hook up but i kt on rejecting that creeper. Anyway my crush left before i did, my ride ccame at the same time as the other dude and my crush texted me saying that he wished he wpudnt have lefy me there with the other guy. He had said he was going to stay woth me through out the night to protect me(before he left) i also was playinh around with his phone and set his wallpaper as a pic of me and him. He always hugs me too. Is he into me??? Help!!
Definitely sounds like he is, Fenny. He’s showing all the typical signs! I’d ask him out, and then wait for him to make the next move!
-Ethan
Hey,
I’ve been friends with this guy for close to 3 or 4 years now, we’ve always had a close relationship to the point that we’ve always had feelings for each other but our timing was always off. Within the past year we tried to go on a date, but he got serious too quickly and I backed off. He’s had a girlfriend for about a year and also went to Australia to finish up his degree. Even though he left and had this girlfriend he was still texting me every so often and told me to come visit him etc. Just recently they broke up and he’s returning home this June. He texted me also immediately after they broke up and has brought up their break up about 3 times since, he’s complimented me on how great I look in pictures and we also made plans for his return.. this all sounds great but he’s also dropped the bomb that he’s still in love with his gf and also that he’s hooked up with a couple of girls since their break up. Now I’m not one to over think but whats going on here, am I just a friend? I just want to know where I stand but since the last time we tried something I screwed up I don’t want to ask.. Any ideas?
Hey Laur,
Sounds like this guy has held onto some feelings for you, even through his other relationship. However, I would steer clear of him at this point (at least, romantically), as he made it pretty clear he’s still in love with someone else. Not the type of messy situation you’ll want to willingly walk into! Give it a few months and see where things are at then…
-Ethan
I believe he may like me since he is the only one who calls me katie, and we sit and talk together during photography but he is so much cooler than I am that the things we have in common may only mean that we’ll be good friends.
Hi Ethan,
I have this friend whom I’ve known for a few years, we went to the same high school and we hung around the same group of friends, we still contact each other till now but never privately. After all these years I’ve only had 1 private conversation with him, very recently, because he has never really tried to talk to me.
However a few days ago I just broke up with my boyfriend, and my friends all got to know about it, and right after that, he kinda asked me out but chickened out and cancelled immediately. A few days later I asked him whether he wanted to hang out, he took a really long time to get back to me and he said he was occupied that day.
So right now I’m just really confused, does he want to go out with me or does he not want to? Does he like me? Why would he chicken out?
Hey June,
Kinda weird of your friend…but I would steer clear for now. Normally I’d say he’s just being a little gunshy, but since you already asked him for plans and he backed out, the ball is sort of in his court. I don’t doubt he’s into you, but something else is going on with him that could take weeks or months to smooth out, so you shouldn’t wait around!
-Ethan
Thanks for your reply Ethan,
He’s still friendly with me and talks to me like normal after I tried to ask him out. He’s not a shy person, but he’s pretty private so he doesn’t really tell people things.
However he does always make an effort to come to my concerts and stuff even if none of our friends are going.
He does know my ex-boyfriend though, they’ve met a couple of times and they’ve been friendly; could that be the reason why he’s acting the way he is?
I guess I should also add the fact that he probably has never asked anyone out before and has never had a girlfriend.
Hey Ethan, I’ve been really into a guy for a few months now. We were both new to the city and worked together, so we started spending a lot of time together. I was laid off a week ago and he’s still inviting me over all the time, we often watch movies late into the night.
He often talks about how he needs to find a girlfriend or will ask why I’m still single. We have no issues talking sex and we’re both pretty open. He also talks about how he’s old (at 31) and he needs to stop looking at 23yr olds (I’m 23). Then in almost the next breathe talks about how I act like I’m in my 30′s and I need to relax.
He’s also shared a few things since I got laid off and says “we don’t work together anymore, it’s not inappropriate for us to talk about this” or something similar.
I feel like I’m getting mixed signals but maybe I’m reading them wrong?
Hey Cassie,
You’re definitely getting mixed signals. It sounds like he’s conflicted about your age difference — while he’s attracted to how mature you are for your age, he also has some hang-ups about the fact that you’re so much younger than he is.
I’d love to respond in more depth, but it’d be too long for the comments section. Submit your question to askaguy@gurl.com, and I will answer it in further detail at http://www.gurl.com/author/ethan-fixell!
Thanks so much,
-Ethan
Hey, Ethan!
There is this guy….. I really like him, and he says he likes me too. We have been friends for almost a year, but I am closer to him than most of my friends. Whenever we hang out, he likes to get close and stuff, and he sends me a “goodmorning beautiful” txt every mornin. The last time we hung out, he kissed me, like, full blown makeout kissed me….. But, he told me after that he “wants us to be more” but that he isnt ready for more yet….. I am really confused, what do you think?
Whoa. Even I’M really confused. I mean, he’s clearly into you, but you need to find out what’s holding him back. Ask him straight up why he “isn’t ready for more yet.” If the excuse sounds legit, give him some space — he’ll come back harder than ever. And if it sounds like he’s just making things up, then he’s probably one confusing mess not worth your time!
-E
Hey Ethan,
I like my best guy friend. He is in all my core classes. We talk alot and text about once a week cuz he loses his phone alot. Well, he always tries to give me high fives when I walk in the room. And once we were at a party, and i sat on a couch and he sat next to me. It was really crowded, and so we were sitting really close. Then my other guy friend came up and goes “Hey, can i sit ther?” And my crush says “No, i like this seat” And he kept playing around cuz i was trying to steal his hat. We wer laughing and i was the only one who he didnt get mad at for stealing his hat. We were running around the party, and one time we were dancing and we got really close. The only problem is that he is my best friends ex, and they hate each other. It really sucks, cuz it makes me hard to be friends with both of them. So do you think he likes me? And is it Ok for me to date him? Im so sorry its so long, my life is really complicated right now. Thanks!
Hey Julianne,
I DO think he likes you — but this is a messy situation because of your best friend! You need to have an open conversation with your pal before making any moves. If there’s any issue with you dating her ex (which there very well might be) you might have to decide if he’s worth ruining a friendship for…
Good luck,
Ethan
Hi!
SO, this guy and I used to have a thing, a couple of months ago, and our brothers played soccer together and we used to see each other there alot, but nothing really happened. But the other day, his really close girl-friend (since childhood) asked me if I would ever go out with him, because apparently he used to like me. I said maybe. And then she said he could ‘possibly’ still like me. He always used to call me ‘cute’ – like a bajillion times a conversation! And he was saying it so often I just thought he was doing it as a troll, and it was kind of annoying so I asked him to stop – I mean, I’m not a stuffed animal! We were going to go to the movies but he wouldn’t pick a movie, and everything I picked wasn’t showing at the time we were going, so we didn’t go. He’s SUCH a tunedog, and I don’t know if he likes me or not… He’s really shy at the same time though? And yeah. Everything is really confusing! Any comments?
Hey Jess,
Why not just take control and ask HIM out? Take a chance, put yourself out there, and see where it takes you. If he’s into you, he should reciprocate with the next move… otherwise, you can move on from his gameplaying. He might not be mature enough to handle a real lady like you!
-Ethan
Dear Ethan,
i recently moved to a new school because my older sister & best friend go there. Once i got there i started talking to this girl a lot since we had the same classes & we’ve gotten super close. I got to meet her cousin, because my cousin thought that i would be interested in someone like him (which he was right) & we clicked instantly. we have a ton of the same interests, he texts me daily, he constantly gives me compliments, we hang out whenever we have the chance & I’m just not sure if he’s as in to me as i am. he recently got out of a bad break up & he was saying that he probably won’t date anyone for a while. should i be blunt about the situation or should i just wait until he decides to take things further ?
Hey Joce,
Sounds like he’s definitely interested in you to some extent — but if he’s already openly said he “won’t date anyone for awhile,” I’d give him a bit more time before making any moves. Give the relationship a little bit of breathing room and try not to think about it so much. In a few weeks you can pick up where the flirting left off, and see if he seems any more emotionally available. If so, feel free to get “blunt” about it!
-Ethan
Ethan,
5 months ago at my sisters 18th i met a guy, my sisters friends boyfriends friend, (confusing i know), and we hit it off really well, he added me on facebook, we echanged numbers after a month, we more rely on facebook then txt but we talk daily, sometimes for over an hour, the conversations we have arent really conversations i can have with anyone, they’re pretty random and we pretty much make stuff up alot but we have serious convo’s too. latley he’s started calling me lovely and i think i might like him, only problemo is, he’s four years older then me… any thoughts/suggestions? does he actually like me or just a mate?
-Holly
Hi Holly,
Four years can mean a lot…or nothing at all. For example, my girlfriend is actually four years younger than I am! But since physical and emotional maturity slows down only as we get older, the age difference could be a problem if, for example, I were only 17 and my girlfriend were 13. It all depends on how old you are.
You should definitely submit your question to askaguy@gurl.com, along with your age (and his), and I will answer it in further detail at http://www.gurl.com/author/ethan-fixell!
Thanks for writing,
-Ethan
Hello Ethan!
Sorry this is probably going to be really long..
anyways..
I moved to a new town about 9 months ago and one day not long after I moved her my sister and I decided to have a water fight and this guy who lives down the street was riding his bike and stopped I had never met him before but he stayed at my house for a few hours playing with us we have become pretty good friends and his uncle mentioned that he thought he liked me cause he never stays around someone he doesn’t know for that long..anywho we had gotten pretty close and he comes down alot and when I cook dinner he always eats alot and compliments me he tried taking a picture of me before and he calls me Mary Grace when every one else calls me Mary. here recently he got a girlfirend but the only thing that has really changed is he doesn’t really text me much anymore. one day here while back we were playing a dice game and he kept throwing the dice down my shirt. and well i’m just not sure if he likes me or what i really need help and once again sorry this is soo long..
Thanks for taking your time to read this..
Mary
Hi Mary,
Sounds like he definitely liked you at one point, and probably still has a crush. I say go for it. You should ask him for plans to hang out and hopefully he’ll make the next move!
-Ethan
Ethan,
i texted him earlier today and asked if he wanted to come downa and play a game he said, ”I’m going to a friends house or i would” so is he saying like he would like to spend time with me? i really would love to get together with him but i don’t want to be the reason he breaks the girl he’s withs heart.. sorry i write so much i’m just not so good with guys.
Mary:)
No prob–I”m happy to help!
If he didn’t suggest another time to hang, then I would leave it alone for now. You’ve made the effort to ask him for plans, so it’s up to him now to reciprocate. If he doesn’t make the next move, don’t sweat him — there are plenty of other guys out there!
-Ethan
Hi again,
well we’re neighbors so usually he just shows up at my house. he never really texts if he wants to hang out. why do you think that is?? do you think he may just sees meas like one of his friends? his sister seems to think we like each other.. i mean clealy i like him but i guess i just really don’t know how to tell if he likes me. how can a girl tell when a guy likes her?
thanks again,
Mary
Ok so I’ve known this guy since the beginning of the school year and I really like him, we talk a lot in class and joke around he always tries to make me laugh with these lil faces he’ll make at me and during our last field trip I was wrapped around his arm the entire time. We give each other daily hugs and we’re supposed to go to our schools junior Olympics together where a few of my and his friends have told me I should kiss him. I’m not sure if I should because I think the guy should be the one to do those kind of things but if I really think there’s something there maybe I’ll do it idk what fo u think should I go for it and do u think he might like me?
Oh yeah, if you think the time is right, you can totally make the first move! It sounds like he’s into you, and if so, he’ll be stoked that you are, too. After you initiate, though, the ball is in his court, and it’s his responsibility to reciprocate next — he’s gotta take some control as well!
-Ethan
He ethan
Like a month ago i met a guy we really clicked with each other and we had very much fun.
That night we also kist 2 times and he asked my number. But i’ve never heard anything from him. Not so long ago a saw him again and he really looked very long at me even when i walked further when i turned he was still watching at me! But he didnt say anything to me. Do you think he likes me? Or not? Greats Abbey
Hey Abbey,
Tough to say — he’s sending majorly mixed messages. Obviously his asking for your number was a good sign, but if he hasn’t called, he’s either too shy to make the next move, not as into it as you thought, or has something going on with someone else. Whichever may be the case, you’re probably best off moving on from this weirdo. It’s his responsibility to call you if he has your number!
-Ethan
Dear Ethan,
So theres a guy at school i have known for a few years, we came from the same city in china, anywayz lately ive noticed that hes been staring at me a lot, nd he always stop to talk to me. both our friends think we should be together and his friends say that he likes me. But he is the really nerdy kind of guy so i doubt he will ever ask me out. Any suggestion to what i should do?
Oh, go for it Penelope. It seems that you already have enough in common to start up a conversation (talk about your hometown!), and eventually suggest that you should continue the discussion over drinks, coffee, dinner, or some fun activity. You should just go ahead and ask him out! Then hopefully he’ll come out of his shell a bit and make the next move.
Keep me posted,
-Ethan
Hey Patricia,
Yup… I think he’s into you. Ask him for plans, and you’ll probably get an even better sense for how far he wants to take things once you’re hanging out all alone!
Keep me posted,
-Ethan
Hi Ethan!
I really like this guy like for one and half year. Me and this guy are co-workers and really good friends too.
We always crack jokes. And we tell each other everything (with details). We have much in common. We can talk like 24/7. We even have our inside jokes.
He teases me all the time and he´s sweet at the same time. He has always smile on his face when we´re together. I think that he talked about me with his mom, because she knows what my name is and she´s nice to me. Even his brothers are nice to me ? I don´t know what is going on. Lately I noticed that he´s at the places that I am. And almost everytime he just came to talk with me. He always look me in the eyes. I noticed that he touch me on the purpose. Everybody tell me that we´re perfect for each other, but I´m too shy to tell him that I have feelings for him. And I am not sure that he has feelings for me too. Please help me, because I really like him!!!