From The Message Boards: Should You Give It Up On A First Date?

So... should they keep going?

When it comes time for a first date, there is always going to be the same thing running through your mind: should I hook up with him/her? It’s a question that every gURL and guy has been obsessing over for, like, forever, but yet it still hasn’t really been solved. We thought about it yet again when we saw the topic come up in our message boards. So… should you give it all up on the first date, or should you wait a little while? Check out what these gURLs had to say:

hippie00 asked:
Hey, I was just wondering, do you guys think that sleeping with a guy on the first date means you’re a slut and that there can’t be a serious relationship with the guy afterwards?

blueandyellow replied, saying:
There’s no such thing as a slut/whore/whatever else. Slut-shaming is absolutely disgusting, and it’s no one’s business but your own. I think sexual freedom is a wonderful thing.

fiction replied, saying:
I don’t care if a girl does, but I would never do it. In order to have sex with a guy I’d need to be fairly comfortable with the guy. On the first date I’m NOT gonna be that comfortable with him yet lol. Besides, I would be really wary that he could be using me for sex and just hit it and quit it after the first date. So that’s why I wouldn’t. But I know of someone who had sex with his gf BEfORE they even began dating and they have been together for a couple years now.

First Date

If only every first date could be so cute. Sigh.

We’ve gotta hand it to these gURLs: they both brought up awesome points. So where do we stand? Well, for one thing, we definitely don’t agree with slut-shaming. We say, if you feel comfortable with your date and you really feel ready to have sex with him/her, then go for it. But you should never feel pressured into doing it, and at the same time, you should never feel pressured into not doing it.

Bottom line? Do what feels right for you, and don’t focus on what other people think. It’s your life, and your date, not anyone else’s.

And if you do go for it, be safe and use a condom.

WDYT, gURLs? Would you sleep with someone on the first date? Do you think it’s a big deal if a gURL does it? Who do you agree with the most? Tell us in the comments.

Posted in: Advice Gurl, Discuss, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sex
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  • aglow

    i had sex with my boy friend before we started dating and we are together still. for us there was a lot of tension so we both said why not. this is not the way for everyone, just think before having sex and be safe, oh and don’t be worried about him H&Q girls do it to.

  • cutelilcherub

    I dont see why not. Whats wrong with doing it on the first date? Its up to her if she wants to do it or not. I hate when girls say they feel “used” You can only feel used if you allow yourself to be used. So there is no point in blaming the guy. It isnt as if you just lie there and allow yourself to be “sacrificed” That is so stupid how girls try and pretend to be the “holy victim” who was pushed into doing something against her will. That is so pathetic. I know sometimes girls are forced but that is different. I am talking about mutual consensual sex.
    The thing is that girls are looked upon as being loose if they so dare to have sex on the first date. They are scared of “slut shaming” So what happens is that they think they can appear to be the innocent victim if they shift the blame onto the guy. That way they feel better by making people think they are the hurt party.
    Such girls give other girls a very bad name. Also by doing things like that and blaming the guy, they make themselves look dumb. I dont understand why we girls cannot own up to wanting to do it or enjoying it, because we do enjoy it a lot, just as much as guys.
    I feel sorry for some guys because they get such a bad name.
    I personally believe that we should stop stigmatising girls or slut shaming girls if they have sex on their first date. As long as they are not forced into it, I dont see a problem with it. I lost my virginity at a very early age to my cousin’s friend. He was home from University. I was staying at their place over the school holidays. It so happened that just he and me were at home one weekend because the others had to go to a family funeral. That weekend I lost my innocence. He was worried because I was so young. I was worried that something bad might happen. But guess what, nothing bad happened and we are still together. 😛

  • Simplii_Natasha

    Personally It Shouldn’t Matter… if a girl wants to give it up then hell. give it up.. me on the other hand is sticking to my 90 day rule 😉

  • strawberrykitty

    I personally don’t agree with the concept because

    1. You might never see the guy again, he got what he was after.
    2. He might assume you’re just as easy with everybody else, even if it’s not true.
    3. If you want a relationship, that’s probably not the best way to get the message across.

    I see virginity as a precious gift that’s meant to be given to someone you truly love. How do you know you love someone after just one date…?

  • Yakubutsu

    I don’t understand why a girl can’t just have sex when she feels the time is right and not be judged for it.

    It’s so stupid that a lot of men say they will respect a girl less if she gives it up on the first date? What about him? Why isn’t he viewed with less respect for sleeping with someone of the first date? There are so many patriarchal double-standards towards female sexual activity.

    If a girl has sex on the first date, why the hell does that make her less respected or more of a so-called “skank” then another girl? It pees me the hell off just thinking about it. So yeah, overall, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having sex on the first date.

    I wouldn’t do it myself, just because I wouldn’t be comfortable with it, I’d like to get to know the person first, but w.e. Each to their bloody own.