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interracial dating
Could. Not. Be. Cuter.
Some people say say race doesn’t matter; but when Mom and Dad are telling you not to date certain people, interracial dating can become super tricky.
If your parents have made it clear you’re not supposed to date outside of your group, you’re not alone. Mixed heritage dating is not as black and white as it seems. There are Africans opposed to their kids marrying African-Americans and any combination of interracial, inter-ethnic and interfaith love challenges. Most of the time? The family is opposed to faceless stereotypes of the forbidden races rather than to specific people.
What's wrong with a couple of beautiful people getting together?
We love our families and friends, and most of the time they only want the best for us, but when it comes to calling out which skin tones are more acceptable than others? They’re missing the mark. Ideally, we would all be open to dating people that we find exciting regardless of race. So how do you handle it when you are attracted to someone who looks different from you?
Interracial Dating Dilemma: “Should I tell my parents?”
You should definitely introduce your family to your sweetie.You may be tempted to date secretly but this will only increase their fears. Put your big gURL panties on and say, “Guess who’s coming to dinner!”
Make sure to share a little about your boyfriend or girlfriend before they get there, though. You want to give them a chance to ask the right questions and get to know the person you care about. Interracial dating might be scary to them, but hopefully they will see the same positive traits that you do. If they don’t fall in love? Fine. You’re the one in the relationship.
Interracial Dating Dilemma: “My honey seems obsessed with my race.”
“Asians are so cute.” “Black girls are hot.” “Redheads are wild.” These may sound like compliments but are you dating me or my coloring? When it comes to IR love fetishists need not apply. When somebody has an obsession with my racial background, I tend to feel like they could erase me out and plug in anyone who looks similar. If your boo is fixated on your race, tell them it makes you uncomfortable and see where the conversation leads.
Interracial Dating Dilemma: “She says she’s colorblind.”
Being colorblind is a compliment, right? Wrong!
Most people enjoy their heritage. My bestie Maran is jazzed about being Jewish and I am gaga about being Guyanese. You don’t need to pretend not to see our differences to date me. Instead of being colorblind, be curious. If you don’t know whether plantanos go with collard greens just ask. You might get a little giggle at first, but in the long haul? I’ll be impressed that you wanted to know.
People stare at Heidi and Seal, too . . . because they're FABULOUS.
Interracial Dating Dilemma: “People are staring.”
Yes, people will stare. So what? They’ll also stare when you wear that killer dress you just got, finish your first marathon, or win a Nobel Prize.
Be tolerant and open to meeting people who you have things in common with. Follow your heart and err on the side of love.
Have you ever dated someone outside your ethnic group? Are your parents strict about you dating certain races? Tell us what you think about interracial dating in the comments.
Lifestyle expert Abiola Abrams is an MTV Made Teen Dating Empowerment Coach, host of “Abiola’s Kiss and Tell Web TV” and author of the upcoming Official Bombshell Handbook. Find her scrapbooking with pink feathers at AbiolaTV.com
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I’m white and dating an Asian guy; my family really likes him and doesn’t have an issue with us dating. I’ve never really felt alienated from his culture; his church is entirely Korean and have accepted me the few times we went to social events there, and his mom loves me. His dad is a lot quieter and seems to be the one that enforces rules, but he’ll ask me how I am sometimes and has never stopped us from seeing each other. For us, most of the oppression comes from our friends. My best friend’s boyfriend actually went so far as to post a Facebook status saying how he hates interracial couples and believes that “white girls lower themselves when they do **** like that”. When I commented, he made it a personal attack against my relationship. This came about a week after we went on a double date with them. We’ll get stares and whatnot in the mall or at the movies, but we try to ignore it. We’re pretty serious and I don’t know how I’m going to handle it when my children are bullied for being half-and-half…
I agree with y’all. I fully support interracial dating and am proud to be part of an interracial relationship. I’m glad that many people are able to see past race and connect with others because they’re so tolerant. Unfortunately, my great grandparents and I don’t see eye-to-eye on this subject. My boyfriend is half black and half white and literally grew up around my great grandparents. They really like him and are proud of him, but they don’t approve of me and him dating. I feel kinda guilty about it though cause they hate how me and him are together. But I won’t give up just because of it. And neither should anyone else. Whatever race he or she may be, if you have strong feelings about them, don’t ever give up on you two. It could make an impact on everyone around you. My boyfriend lives in Oklahoma and I live in Texas, so it’s both long distance AND interrracial. But we’re not gonna give up!
I am half Japanese and half white, so interracial dating has… well i am here because of it. My mom is still pretty skeptical about some races though (like black, certain european etc) but my dad is really open to dating any race (if he even lets me date lol) I reccently got a boyfriend (who has the coolest name btw) and told her about it, and she was pretty skeptical about him being Mexican, they haven’t met him yet so… if that happens, i hope all goes well
I have no problem with interracial dating AT ALL and nor does my family. I think it’s great that people see past race and just date whoever they want. This is despite the fact that my experience was terrible.
I dated a guy who is Asian and I’m black (he’s half Indian half Persian or something) And it was awful. Aside from the fact he was not a very nice person, he wouldn’t introduce me to his parents as a girlfriend because his mum was apparently racist towards blacks despite the fact that they had all lived most of their lives in Kenya. Apparently she always thought and hoped that he and his white best friend (female) would get together eventually. It was such a bad relationship in terms of race that once we were walking down the road and his mum drove past so he literally jumped out of his skin and hid so we wouldn’t be seen together. People would stare but that was mainly black men evilling him (haha) and on one occasion a group of Asian men staring at us like “What…the…f**k..” it wasn’t nice. His mum once dropped me home and I was sitting in the back of the car alone listening to him talk to her in the front thinking “Wow…she doesn’t even know about me being his gf…she probably doesn’t even know my name.” The only time I was allowed over to his house was when his parents were out. It was awful but I think it’s mainly because he was a douche and if I was in an interracial relationship with someone who genuinely cared about me, he wouldn’t give two hoots about what his parents said about me.
My boyfriend now is quarter cast so I guess we don’t really count as an interracial relationship aha
Story of my life. My boyfriend, who I’ll be celebrating one year with very soon, is German. When I say German… I mean straight up from Germany. We met while he was studying abroad at my university for a quarter and it was instant attraction. Now, I’m first-generation Nigerian. We definitely get a lot of looks together because he’s the typical Ab&Fitch/German stereotype (minus the blue eyes – he has green…my favorite) and I’m this chocolatey-woman that he has his arm wrapped around. My family was also terrified of all the implications of him not only being white but of German descent. After they met him though, they loved him. IRs are a challenge, but if you love each other… it doesn’t matter what the color, ethnicity or nationality is – it just matters that you have one another to hold on to.
Hey! Another Nigerian..who also likes white guys!
I get you! My grandpa on my dad’s side is Afro-German. I am mixed with Dominican, Kenyan, Afro-German, American, Puerto Rican & White. I am light in complexion & have thick hair but its long. I am in a relationship with a white american guy. & I’m happy even though we get really ugly looks sometimes.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. Im a Halfrican and hes totally white. I think it is great (obv.) and mixed children look so beautiful. His family just loves learning about my Nigerian culture. People shouldn’t be constricted to one race for any type of relationship.
So I’ve always wanted to date outside my race and my dad claims he has no problem with it soo I would (if I wasn’t having problems with 2 guys in my own race!) but I know me and one of my best friends, who’s Hispanic, said when she has a child and I have a child then we’d want them to get together maybe(if their a boy and a girl) well yeah, we’d think that’d be super cool ! But I think one of my children will probably date outside our race since they’ll be around all my Hispanic friends children and if they’re anything like their mommy !!! XD