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abortion
Me in college . . . on a happier day.
I met B during freshman year at college. He was 10 years older than I was, and at 28 he seemed so worldly—I couldn’t wait to hear his POV on even the stupidest stuff. And after a while, we started having sex, and B started saying I should have his baby.
abortion
Although I was 18 and legally an adult, I was still very much my parents’ kid. On school breaks I slept in my old bedroom filled with stuffed animals and had a curfew. My mother didn’t approve of B but she knew I was too old for her to say “don’t date that person.”
Not exactly my dream in life.
I told B his baby hopes were ridiculous. I wanted to be an author and a talk show host, not a teen mom. We kept having sex, but I made sure to take my birth control pills and we always used condoms. I never even considered that I could get pregnant.
Then I missed a couple periods and realized I’d gained way more than my Freshman Fifteen. I was knocked up, preggers, carrying B’s child. Mainly? I felt stupid, like a total loser, and was scared. When I told B, he revealed that he’d secretly slipped off the condom a few times. Since it was always pitch black when we made love, I never knew.
One of the scariest things I've ever seen.
B said that I should drop out of school and move in with him and his mom. When I told him that I was thinking of not having the baby, he shook me violently and refused to help me pay for an abortion; but still promised he’d come with me if I could get the cash myself. It was abusive, but I was oblivious. All I knew was that I didn’t want this baby, and I didn’t want to spend my first year of college pregnant.
I sold my textbooks for $350 , wore big clothes, and set the appointment during school break. But on that morning, the guy I expected to support me was a no-show.
My appointment was in 90 minutes and the clinic said patients had to have an adult with them. I had no choice but to wake up my mom—who I’d never even had the sex talk with—and confess the whole thing. She asked if I was sure this was the choice I wanted to make but didn’t scold me, yell, or try to change my mind. If she’d used the word “disappointed” I think I would’ve died on the spot.
Protesters outside the doctor’s office yelled “Murderer” and other nasty things as my mother helped me inside. I attended a mandatory counseling session with other girls who looked about my age, where we heard about our other options and what we could expect from the procedure. For a minute, I felt like running out of there, but then I thought about actually having a baby and decided to go through with the abortion.
In another room, the doctor made small talk while the anesthesiologist gave me medicine so I’d fall asleep. I counted backwards from ten and woke up no longer pregnant.
B called the next day to apologize and begged to see me. I wish that I could say I didn’t take him back but that’s another story.
I went back to school and resumed my studies, feeling relieved. Sometimes now, when I see someone the age my child would have been, I think of that day. Still, I wouldn’t change my decision and I don’t have any regrets. Mainly, I’m so grateful my mom was there for me at a time when I really needed her.
New Survey!
New Survey!
1, A lot people don’t realize that she’s barely pregnant. The fetus can’t feel anything at that stage. Do you remember being a fetus? No
2, Sex is a personal choice. People who say she shouldn’t have had sex can GFT. She used condoms and birth control, unaware of what this man-child was doing.
3, abortion is also a personal choice. Not your body? Don’t worry about it and quit trying to control others.
In my opinion, “B” committed a different type of rape – the use of a young woman, and is like a version of a pedophile-type-person in my opinion. How many women could he have done that to before and after? No, I’m not having sex before marriage, but it was here choice to do so, and she was fine with it. She trusted him but he broke that trust and thinks women are just there to get pregnant. She is just sharing her opinion and experience, gees, what’s happened happened and we can move on and believe what we want to believe. Don’t preach or counter argue. It’s not cute or necessary. The world can live on with your opinions to yourself, thank you very much. Sorry if that sounded kind of harsh but these debates get irritating.
I’ll stop ranting now.
I think that was a hard choice that the girl made, but it was best for her. Sure, she could have considered having the baby, but think how it would’e affected her eduaction.She could’ve tried to raise the baby with “B”, but it seems like he didn’t have his priorities straight anyway. Maybe the process of giving her baby up for adoption would’ve been too much for her to handle. Even though some may not agree with her or anyone else’s decision to having pre-marital sex, she was being responsible by being on birth control and using condoms.
Unfortunately, the guy she was with did a great disservice to her by saying he was using a condom when they had sex, but wasn’t. “B” didn’t think about the consequences of his actions. It was selfish of him to try and get her pregnant, even though she had made it clear she was not ready to have a child and wanted to continue her education.
Tto those that want to judge this girl or anyone that has made the choice to have an abortion or may consider having one, I would advise you to think twice before you judge them. No one is perfect, and things happen that none of us expect. God teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves, and not to judge them. For girls and women who are in this situation, would it be better to reach out and show God’s love by comforting them and finding a way how to help them? Or would it be better to shout at them and shame them for their decision?
i dont think that guy really loved her !
To all the people who think what she did was not right
two deaths or one?
The protesters yelled at me too as I went in, and at my boyfriend…. I don’t understand. Did they think they would change my mind, or my religion? It’s like having a bunch of older strange men shout to the whole street that you need to change your tampon. It’s a severe invasion of my privacy and my (emotional and mental) personal space. It’s not okay. By the way: they are allowed to yell at and videotape anyone and everyone who enters and exits the buildings.
I forgot to add: I do not regret this.
I admire your courage, that couldn’t of been easy for you.
I do not believe in judging others by the decisions they make. We all make mistakes, and depending on the circumstances abortion might just be the realistic answer. Aborting a fetus is not selfish, because mother wants to raise her child and not be able to financially do it . People who thrive off of telling people they are wrong for making decisions that are life changing, should really do a self evaluation on their life. I think it is totally up to the mother to decide what is best for her.
I am a christian, and I believe you shoudn’t have sex untill your married. If she hadn’t had sex in the first place, none of this would have happened. And I think, its pretty gross how she had sex with a dude 10 years older than her. She should have had the child, and given it to the father, since he was the one that wanted it SOO badly, or given it up for adoption. NOT abort it. Put yourselves in the baby’s shoes. If your mom started having sex with a guy, and got pregnant with you, and desided to abort you, you would have never been born and wouldn’t be alive right now. That’s how the little baby feels. And its very discusting how they actually do the abortion. Imagine, just as you come into the world, someone stabbing you in the back of tthe head and vacuming out your brain. gross, right?
You are a Christian; does your religion not say that only the Lord God can judge? You don’t know this woman. You don’t know her pain. It’s okay if you think she did the wrong thing, but scolding her now won’t help. Besides, when some women choose adoption over abortion, things can go wrong. For instance, many orphaned children who are not adopted by age 2 are never adopted at all. This can cause serious mental illness and emotional scarring, and this can prevent them from ever having a happy life. Please consider everyone’s perspective before you preach. Thanks
The baby is aborted at stage where they have no feelings or emotions. I would have dne the same in this situation. It’s also an opinion for you to think that having sex with someone 10 years older than you is so wrong. My parents are 10 years apart and have been happily married for over 20 years..
you have no right to judge her. everyone has different opinions. to some, age does not matter. and it is prefectly natural to want and enjoy sex before marrage. back then, she would be having sex right now because she would be married. and giving it to the father to raise alone? that is cruel to the baby because its support system would be low. and you know what? at the point where she had her abortion, it can not feel anything. also, if she (or i or you or anyone) was aborted by her mother, then you are right. we would not be here. therefore we would not care if we were aborted!
please. keep your religion out of the law. there is a separation of church and state for a reason.
also, if you believe in god so much, stop trying to play him… (or her). only he can judge, isn’t that right?
Okay so I forgot at what week the baby has a heartbeat but its later in the 2 or beginning of 3rd trimester. Fetus do not have the mental process or feelings yet until everything is in prefer right? So it’s not murder until everything is developed in my opinion. You can’t call it disgusting that she didn’t want to bring a baby into this world just yet, he’ll I wouldn’t, Abd especially during the circumstances of the creep taking it off it was her decision. You would’ve been thinking differently if the baby miscarriaged or would you be the be one of those people yelling murderer? And finally I really wonder if your virgin or if you waited to get married because most likely I provably won’t buy I’ll try… Oh yeah and it’s normal for girls to like older guys because they are more on the level of maturity level as us but not always *cough* B *cough*
No baby should be born unloved by the mother. She stood up for herself. There is nothing wrong with that. The fetus wouldn’t even be able to ‘feel’ since it is just a bundle of tissues. And obviously the guy would NOT be a good father.
*britteny who wrote the month by month thing i mean
brittany that is cruel. She is trying to share her experience. Screw off.
I’m a Christian so I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t have sex untill your married, and stories like these are one of the reasons I stick to that.
This isn’t a comment to make the girl who got an abortion feel bad or anyone else who has gotten an abortion, this is more directed to the commenters who believe that it’s her choice and it’s unfair of her to have to take care of it.
Okay, please take the time to think this through. Lets say your mother had big career dreams and was currently in college pursing that career. Now let’s say she decided to start having sex without even thinking about the consequences and then found out she was pregnant. Would you want your mother to abort you? I don’t think you’d say yes, but what if it did happen to you without your permission?
If you start having sex and end up getting pregnant and decide to abort it, really… who is the selfish one? The baby who wasn’t even at fault, or the mother who didn’t want to control her hormones?
I’m aware that it’s the mothers choice on whether or not to abort a baby, but I don’t think it should be a choice. You can easily give up a baby for adoption, I’m sure they would prefer that.
Once again, I’m not trying to make anyone who got an abortion feel bad, because I know most people who have abortions eventually become depressed and regret their choice, but I just think it’s unfair for a baby to be murdered. You may not think it is murder, but it is. Just think about if you were that baby.
If my mere existence ruined someone else’s (possibly TWO people’s) life, I would easily forgive my mother. For everything there is a season; in nature, if a fawn or cub is born out of season it almost certainly dies. Sometimes it’s just not the right time to reproduce.
Also: I realize it is not your intent to make others feel bad, but that is absolutely the effect you’re having.
One last thing: When aborted in the proper time period, zygotes are physiologically incapable of experiencing emotion, let alone logic. Nor are they equipped with the cells to feel pain, as all of their cells are still stem cells. Bill Nye says: Science rules!
she did not choose to have sex without thinking about the consequences. she did use protection and made sure he did as well. she did everything correctly. she trusted the man she was with (because if she did not, she would not willingly have sex with him.) he broke her trust by sneaking off the condom. it was his fault she was pregnant.
also, it is neither the mother or the baby being selfish. it was the father. he was selfish. he was the one who did not take her feelings into consideration, even though he knew how strongly she felt about not having a child at this age. he should have seen this coming.
and you know what? do not say “i’m not trying to make anyone who got an abortion feel bad” because by calling them selfish and murderers, you are.
lastly, you calling abortion murder is an opinion. it is not a fact because it can be questioned. it is not verified by facts. you may be able to give reasons why it is, but others can give reasons why it isn’t. therefore, it is an opinion.
It took me a long time to realize what should be an obvious truth: your body is YOURS and no one can tell you what you can and can’t do wit your uterus. You made the right choice, and to the anti-choicers: if you don’t like abortion, then don’t get one.
thank you!
God says, Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (Psalm 127:3)
The Lord God also said that only He can judge.
truth is ur weak read this u cold hearted murder should of NOT had sex if u was just going to have your child killed many mothers lose there childern u make me sick may god bless u….Month One
Mommy
I am only 4 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
The sound of your heartbeat
is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I’m not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy
I’m a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don’t like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can’t hear me.
Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I’m not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what’s abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don’t like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can’t get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’s arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn’t you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
She is NOT a murderer. She was doing what was best; and I’m sure it was a hard decision for her to make. You can’t judge her for doing what she did. What if she hadn’t been able to care for the baby? Then she would have had to give it up anyway. Have an open mind for goodness’s sake.
Truth is … It’s a fetus, not a baby..a fetus. It does not breath or speak or live yet, especially if it’s on the first half trimester. It then becomes a “life” on the 24th-26th week of pregnancy. If she was not emotionally ready (what teenager is?) than it was her decision and she was capable of doing whatever she wanted. Calling her a murderer makes you seem very ignorant and quick to judge.
lilian, thanks for being so blunt. you are correct.
also, brittney, you make me sick.
Ugh do you really have to shame her? She is a beautiful person but if anyone’s a murderer it should be you – the murderer of sanity and self worth for miss Abiola. At least research before you type something like this up next time, maybe? If you’re not giving the right information and respecting, then aren’t you lying and shaming, what God doesn’t want you to do? You make me want to hurl. Thanks.
Britney, simply stated……… You’re a bitch. People like you make me sick. U think ur a better person for trying to shame this gurl into regretting her abortion. Go get a life. Please. For the sake of humanity.
I’ve always wondered…what all is entailed in getting an abortion?
First, you go to the doctor so they can confirm your pregnancy. Then the doctor is legally obligated to inform you of your options, including abortion, adoption, and parenthood. If you decide to go the abortion route, then you need to get another appointment. The laws for who and when abortions are allowed vary greatly from state to state. Once you go in for the abortion, they give you a vaginal sonogram by sticking a wand up in there. With this method they measure the zygote/fetus to tell how far along in the pregnancy you are. Depending on how long you’ve been pregnant, they will choose how to abort. One way is basically a vacuum pump; another is with a handheld syringe-like device that also uses suction to remove the tissue; there is also the abortion pill, which simply forces you to have your period within the next few days. No matter what the procedure, it’s a very painful time, both physically and emotionally. It’s best to avoid it entirely. Hope this helps!
I’m glad you made the right choice, but seriously why did you date a 28yr old guy who still lived with his mom?
I really hope you’re not still with that guy. Glad you got another chance at living the life you want though.
I would have had to do the same thing. I couldn’t imagine having a baby at that age. It’s unfair on you and the baby.