From The Boards: Should You Cater To A Guy Who Doesn’t Do The Same For You?

Cater To A Guy

Making him breakfast in bed AND feeding him? Hm...

When it comes to relationships, how do you think you should treat your sweetie? Should you be catering to their every need… even if they don’t do the same for you? We were inspired by this gURL’s post on the message boards: she’s wondering why some gURLs push themselves to the limit for a guy who doesn’t push himself to the limit for her. Really good question.

a_wolves_spirit said:
I’m confused. I know not every woman does this because well, I’m one of them who doesn’t and I have plenty of friends who don’t either but I’m thoroughly confused – why push yourself to the limit for a man who clearly doesn’t do the same for you?

I don’t understand the need some females (and males) have to wake up earlier to make their mate coffee, cooking him dinner, doing his laundry, etc. while he rarely returns the favor. I know plenty of females who do these things on a regular basis and although their guy is decent, he doesn’t ever return the favor. Such as, waking up early to make his make coffee in the morning or arriving home early to make dinner just because he LOVES her. I guess I just don’t see why you’d deal with a guy like this, let alone cater to him.

hem replied, saying:

i think women are still kind of conditioned to think that their greatest calling (other than having kids) is to serve their man. sexism is still very real and

I don't know about you, but I never look that happy doing laundry!

while feminism has brought us a long way, we still have a long way to go. a lot of this conditioning is subconscious, we see it on TV or in our own homes as children, we hear men talk about how they like a woman who cooks and cleans, etc and we absorb those things.

PrettyandUnpretty replied, saying:

Some people don’t do it because they want something in return though. Some people just enjoy doing it for their partner just because they like doing it. I don’t see the problem with that.


Our thoughts? It’s great to do cute little favors for your boyfriend or gURLfriend, like making them breakfast sometimes and helping out with their chores. But if your sweetie never does the same for you, no matter how nice they might be otherwise, you shouldn’t feel like you have to put so much effort into doing things for them. If it’s totally one-sided, it’s just not fair. But hey… if you’re a gURL who loves doing nice things for others and doesn’t care about getting it back, then do what makes you happy.

WDYT, gURLs? Which user do you agree with most? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Do you think gURLs should cater to their boyfriends? Discuss in the comments.

Posted in: Advice Gurl, Discuss, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships
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  • bustitamy

    I like a men who can cook and clean 🙂
    I only feel the need to make him food when: he’s drunk to get him sober quicker; he seems thin.

    but i’ve learned that i like them thin.. so i need to stop thiinking about their side and just lieke

    i think she cooks and cleans becasue she is insecure… so up you confidence huns:

  • Angie

    let me add that in a relationship there should always be equal respect ! If you want to be catered for then cater for yo partner, it’s all about giving your all to your significant other

  • Angie

    Hells No !