My Friends Are Peer Pressuring Me! Should I Give In?

Peer pressure: not fun.

Hello, Heather,

Recently, a lot of my friends have been drinking, “getting off” with guys, been getting into smoking and drugs and wearing VERY different clothing such as tight tops, short skirts, large heels, etc. I personally think they shouldn’t. They’re underage, acting stupid and being extremely immature. Of course, I’m the only one who thinks this though.

Constantly I feel as if I’m a goody-two-shoes, or that I’m just plain dull and boring and different and I hate it! My “friends” are saying I should live a little, get out there, update my wardrobe, be more fashionable (as in, dress like a slut) and I should try alcohol. I keep saying no, I’m not the type to crack under peer pressure. But I’m starting to feel so babyish and unwanted by people.

Should I help them? Should I stay away? Should I live a little, join them, perhaps? Am I doing something wrong? Am I normal? Should I drop them? Should I tell an adult what’s happening, as none know? UUUGGGHHH! Please help me, I don’t know what to do.

I’ll be blunt: peer pressure sucks. It’s never fun to deal with, and it sucks even more when it’s your best friends who are doing it to you. I know it’s tough, but in this situation the most important thing to do is to stick to what you believe in and what feels right and comfortable for you.

There is no reason for you to feel baby-ish or boring. Doing drugs, drinking when you’re underage and hooking up does not make you an adult, and it does not mean you’re “cool.” If that’s not something you want to do, then you should never feel like you have to do it in order to fit in with your friends. If they’re going to make you feel bad about that, then honestly, they aren’t really great friends.

You sound like a totally normal gURL to me! There’s nothing wrong with you just because you don’t want to participate in these (mostly illegal) activities. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, so just be strong, and continue to do only what makes you comfortable. If you do end up giving in just to feel wanted, you’ll end up regretting it.

WDYT, gURLs? Have your friends ever peer pressured you? Can you relate to this situation? Do you ever feel the same way? Give us your advice and discuss below.

take care,

heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.


Posted in: Being Different, Friends, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Sucky Emotions
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  • Anonymous

    Oh come on, grow up. i smoke weed every day.

  • Anonymous

    hey.so my friend and i have poured a little bit of liquer in our cups before without anyone knowing.its not that we feel older but we are kinda in the same positions and it makes the stress sort of lift off our shoulders we only tried once and i am 16 i dont plan on trying again till i am 21 i defs dont want to get caught.drinking is not a good choice and can defs ruin you.dont give in to peer pressure.expirimenting is a normal part of life though and also not everyone expiriments with the same things.stay smart and you make your own choices noone can make them for you.

  • Anonymous

    People peer pressure because they don’t want to be the only one doing it. trust me, you will be so grateful that you stayed away in the future. The payoff of being sober and not cracking under peer pressure is much greater than feeling less “dull”. You should probably find better friends, too.

  • Anonymous

    i dont think drinking or smoking are that bad but i think its wrong doing them if you dont want to :/