Don't hide, gURL!

I just started here at gURL and my first order of business was to look really busy at my desk. I started on Mission: BusyPants by taking the Should You Make a Move on Your Crush Quiz. Honestly, I was just hoping to get to know my site better. I wasn’t looking for an actual answer. But, I got one. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

The result I got was, “Go for it, gURL: You’re so ready to make the first move that we’re actually a little surprised that you haven’t already.” The more I read of the result, the more I felt like the wind was getting knocked out of me. Really, it was like my own site had just sucker punched me. I had to push away from my desk and breathe for a second. Of course, that’s when my boss came to check in on me…when I was looking as unbusy as possible.

Anyway, I couldn’t figure out why I was having this reaction to the quiz until it hit me. I’ve never made a first move. Never ever.

This isn’t something that I consciously chose to do. I’m in no way personally against making the first move and of course, I’m very pro gURLs making the first move. Come on, I’m the editor of gURL for crying out loud. I encourage my friends to do it all the time and I myself have made many a bold second, third, and even what might be considered a first and a half move. It’s just that I haven’t made that first move to elevate a relationship from just friends to more. It was shocking to realize because I’m forward, confident, and occasionally even brash. Everything about me says first move maker…except for the fact that I haven’t actually done it.

Thinking back, the closest time I ever came to making a first move was junior year of high school. I’d liked this guy Dan since the fourth grade. You know, just eight years of pining after the same guy, no big deal. Eventually, Cupid managed to point his arrow at my 11th grade pre-calc classroom and the magic started. Dan and I were assigned to sit next to each other, even though our last names didn’t start with the same letter. In my high school world of alphabetical seating charts, that was destiny calling your name as loudly as it could.

After a semester of quadratic formula-ing next to him, it happened. We’d all just gotten our SAT scores back and I was really stoked with how I did on mine.

Dan asked me what my score was and I replied that I didn’t want to share. My mom always told me never to discuss your grades, salary or how far you’ve gone sexually. And I always say two out of three ain’t bad. So, I’ve never discussed the first two.

Dan was persistent though. “But, you’re happy about your score, right?”

I nodded with a grin. I was really happy. Very few things make me happier than hard work paying off.

“Happy enough to say yes to anything?” he asked.

I nodded again. Although thinking back, I have no idea what that really meant. I don’t think I’ll ever really be happy enough to say yes to anything. But, I digress.

“Nice. So, you’ll say yes to taking me out to dinner?” he asked.

And I said yes. And I took him out to dinner. And we dated for four more years. I’ll end on this happily ever after note and save the rest for a messy college break up confession.

Anyway, that’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to asking a guy out. Saying yes to a guy asking me to ask him out. I’m thinking I need to rectify this situation as soon as possible. I’m toying with the idea of making the move in the very near future. Gulp.

Any advice from move making gURLs out there? Share it in the comments.

Do you want to share your confession? Let us know what it is. We might just feature it.