Reality TV has taken over our airwaves and I, for one, have fully embraced it. Sure, reality television has its flaws, but there is so much we can learn from the non-scripted celebs. These people put their lives on display for our enjoyment and education. Or at least, my education. I’ve learned quite a bunch. And I want to share it all with you.
So, here are the top 10 things I’ve learned from reality TV.
Jersey Shore – Deena flashes the club in Italy.
When Coco Chanel said to take one accessory off before leaving the house, she did not mean your underwear. Underwear isn’t an accessory. She was talking rings or maybe a hair bow.
Real Housewives of New Jersey – Melissa Gorga sings the wrong words to Amazing Grace.
If you’re going to sing one of the most famous songs ever and there happens to be a camera crew filming you, learn the words. God will forgive you, but the BravoTV audience will make you pay forever.
America’s Next Top Model – Tyra Banks makes up her own words.
Can’t figure out what you want to say? Then, just make up your own words. Tyra coined the term “smize” (smile with your eyes, for you non-ANTM viewers), and will do anything to make it stick. My new word is “cotato” for couch potato. I’m just spit balling here. What do you think?
Keeping up with the Kardashians – Kris Humphries throws Kim in the water and she loses her diamond earring.
Remember: When on vacation to remove all zillion dollars diamonds, tiaras and royal jewels before frolicking near a beautiful ocean. Any important body part that cannot be removed should be insured for safe vacationing.
Big Rich Texas – Whitney tries to get her mom Bonnie to bribe her with plastic surgery.
The way to straight A’s is through double D’s. Actually, since her mom didn’t cave here, I don’t really know for sure. Less of a lesson and more of a hypothesis.
Toddlers and Tiaras– Toddler, Paisley, is dressed as Julia Roberts prostitute character from Pretty Woman.
Some people get offended by four year olds dressed like prostitutes. Who’d of thunk?
Dance Moms – Mother’s fight after competition.
Fighting in front of your children can teach them valuable lessons. Just ignore their tears and the pure fright that they exhibit. That’s what therapy is for anyway.
Rachel Zoe Project – Rachel uses “Oh My God” to express every thought and emotion.
If you’re a businesswoman with a hectic schedule, getting your point across quickly and efficiently is very important. Instead of fumbling with a ton of vocab, just pick one phrase that fits all situations–good, bad, sad, happy, constipated, anything!–and you’re good to go. OMG!
Jerseylicious – Olivia and Tracey fight in front of Sonic.
When having a fight in the middle of a parking lot, put down your drinks, take off your sunglasses and protect your hair extensions at all costs. Had I not seen this cautionary tale of an episode, I totally would have run into my next fight with my sunnies on. And I don’t need anyone stepping on my fake Ray Bans.
Bachelorette – Casey gets a tattoo for Ali Fedotowsky.
When permanently inking your body, don’t make it a tribute for someone you met a minute and a half ago on a reality dating show.
Agree with any of these lessons? Have you sincerely ever learned anything from reality television? Do you watch these shows? Shout it out in the comments.