I Feel So Lonely At School. How Can I Make Friends?

Don't worry - making friends is easier than it looks.

Hi Heather,

I’m a freshman in high school and I have no friends at the school. I can’t seem to meet anyone who seems like they need friends. I eat alone, spend my free periods alone, and walk to class alone. I need some help.

I’m sorry you feel so lonely in school. High school can be a pretty scary and intimidating place for every gURL and guy, especially freshman. Don’t think you’re alone in this situation though, because there are plenty of people who feel exactly the same way.

Making friends might seem really hard, but I promise it’s not that bad. The first thing you need to do is try to involve yourself. You should definitely join an after-school club, whether it’s yearbook, sports, or whatever. You’ll meet people who have similar interests as you, and you’ll be working pretty closely with them, so it’ll be super easy to get to know them. Bonus: it will end up looking great on your college apps in the future.

Try striking up a conversation with someone nice who sits next you, or take a seat at a lunch table with people who you recognize from class. Don’t be afraid to be friendly and a little bit outgoing. I know it seems terrifying, but the only way you’re going to make friends is if you put yourself out there.

Just make sure that you’re confident and acting like your amazing self when introducing yourself to people. Don’t get frustrated — it might take a little time, but you’ll meet a great friend soon.

WDYT, gURLs? Do you feel lonely in school? What do you do to get yourself involved? Do you have any great tips on making friends?  Give us your advice and discuss below!

take care,


What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

Posted in: Being Different, Friends, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, School, Sucky Emotions
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  • elize

    I’m not in high school yet but i have a similar problem. I use to live in england but then I moved to sweden. Even though I can speak swedish well and have lived here for 3 years already I still don’t have A single friend yet. I’ve been in the same class for a whole year already yet I still can’t seem to make a single friend.
    Please share your thoughts about my situation
    and I hope you guys can give me some good advice.

  • Izzy

    I have a smililar situation, all my friends all of the sudden started hating me and have ignored me for ages. They replaced me with this other girl. At school everyone already has their groups and they won’t let anyone else in. Because I am shy I can’t talk to anyone else. And no matter how hard I try to make new friends I always get rejected. 🙁

  • jorozco55

    I feel the same way. I just started my freshman year and its horrible 🙁 I’m very shy so its really hard for me to make friends… I have talked to a few other people in my classes but I wouldn’t exactly call them friends.. my school cafeteria is really crowded so I can’t sit by myself without going unnoticed and people will think I’m the weird girl who doesn’t talk. I’ve tried sitting with people but it gets really awkward when I sit with them and they stare at me like they don’t want to be with me. It really sucks 🙁

  • Cynthia

    I feel the exact same way too. I’m in my English class right now sitting alone. It sucks cos I didn’t wanna move in the first place but I kinda had to. I miss my old friends though… Hopefully one day it’ll get better and I won’t have to be that shy girl that only sits alone in classes.

  • K

    I feel EXACTLY the same way. I’m not really the type to start a convo. & Ithink I’m the ONLY girl in my group that doesn’t have a friend because of my shyness. I had one oppurtunity. In the lunchroom, this girl was sitting directly in front of me. She was looking @ me chewing her gum & on her phone. I could’ve easily done the awkward wave because she kept looking @ me. But instead I just looked away, almost about to break down & cry. Tomorrow will be the 3rd day in, and I hate it. Now all I do @ lunch is sit & play a game on my phone, letting a few tears slip by. No one sees me though; I’m an expert cryer. :/

  • Alexis

    So im starting high school in September and i really do not know how to make friends because im naturally shy and i get so frustrated sometimes at my shyness . I mean if im with one of my middle school friends im more open and more friendly and im not so shy because i have someone that i know next to me . Its like, for me, meeting new friends puts me out of my comfort zone when im all alone but if i have someone tht i know next to me im in my comfort zone because i not only have confidence but also have someone who can help with topics to talk about with other people . But when im alone , im not able to be myself fully cause im not too comfortable .

  • S

    I don’t have the exact same problem but a similar one. I have lots of good friends and we hang out at school and in sports, but their parents NEVER let them do anything with me outside of class. My other friends have other friends that i don’t exactly get along with and they hang out with them more. And almost every other person in my school is stuckup. If i go to their table they’d think i’m a wannabe and ignore me………….. help!

  • Aleah

    Okay so, my deal is that I already sort frodo have some friends, but I sometimes feel left out slogans they’re not super good friends. I’m still in middle school but about to graduate. I wanna find a new group of friends who will like me and always include me next year when I’m a freshman. I dunno. Will someone please reply? Idunno if you can reply on this site. Lol it’s my first time on this site.

  • anna

    Ive got a problem similar to you. Im new at highschool and haven’t made new friends in my class yet. There’s a few girls who seem really nice but otherwise there is some kinda snobbish people.ive made a few new friends that r in a different class but they r also friends with people from my old school who r kinda babyish.there is a girl from my old school who seems to have a problem with me. She was always mean ever since kindy and she always butters people up and acts all nice outside.she made a rumor about me with two of the popular people.My older sis says that she jealous of me but why? She like stole 4 of my new friends. Help me please.

    • B

      Thats really mean of her. She has no right to do that. Just find other nice ppl and try to strike a conversation with them. Find friends that would like u for who u are and not for the popularity.and if they r actually true friends they would be ignoring the stupidrumors that girl was spreading
      Wish u luck!!!!

  • Mia

    I have just started high school this year and at the beginning I was really nervous. I am used to hanging out with a tight knit group of friends who are always there for me and make me laugh and then I was confronted with the fact that I only knew one girl in the entire school. I tried taking to other girls, socialising as much as I can and being friendly. I thought I had found the right group of friends and I tried so hard to fit in, I was not being myself though. I realised that I should move on after they never gave me anything back and practically walked away when I joined the group. I turned to another group of friends and have started to develop a true friendship. My advice is be yourself, socialise with many different people and you will find true friends with time. Don’t rush:)

  • Kiki

    I’m moving to a new school my sophomore year but feel kinda scared and excited at the same time this advice could probably really help me thx:-)

    • Michala

      Omg. Mee to! I started school 2weeks ago, 2weeks into the semester already and a sophomore. I met these 2gurls in gym and they are so nice. I kinda hang around them for warm up and stuff but im starting to say hi. Just find someone that looks like your type of person. Like drama class or poetry or in the same sports as you! I hope to b bff witht them they are just so nice!

  • Renalgia

    i still have my old friends but i want to make a new one

  • Finding_Me

    Everday at lunch I hang out with a group of guys from my middle school who are kinda weird. They’re kinda cool and all, but all they like to talk about is sexy girls, and ohh that girls fat, and ohhh she’s hot, OMG look at her bobs, and im sick of it! The only reason I hang out with them is because I don’t have any other friends that I can actually tolerate hanging out with. All of the other girls try and put me down, and I’m not a follower so we kinda clash………

  • Amy

    I’m a freshman in a highschool where everyone seems to know each other. I just moved to this area and don’t know anyone, and ended up having to sit with a guy at lunch time. I’ve already gotten a nickname, which almost the whole school seems to know, but no close friends yet…

    • Angela Hegarty

      I’m also a freshman in high school and have no friends yet either.But just try and mix in with the other girls and be really friendly =)

  • Sequoia

    my best advice to meeting new friends is to ask someone u sit next to in class a question…that’s how i met my best friend of middle school, i asked her “hey do u have a pencil i could borrow” and after that we just started talking. You can say to someone “hey i really like your skirt where did you get it from?” or “did you study for that test where having today? ugh, i hope i don’t fail” and most likely they will answer you and agree with you because they don’t want to fail the test either lol. Good luck and just remember to think questions, you can always branch off conversations from them : )

  • Hello

    1. I am a new gurl this year and i couldn’t be more happier… stay yourself instead of staying cool! I’m a nerd so the first day i sat and read a book to myself and that there attracted nerd buddies! if youre that desperate i guess you should join clubs however BE CAREFUL! pick the right crowds to hang with. don’t be afraid to socialize but if you are shy like me… ipod it out! and if you don’t have that-a book always help!

    2. i know most don’t assoicate with the Newbies but that is so STUPID!!!!!! in my old school when someone was reading alone at lunch we would ask them to sit with us. and of course alot of newbies don’t talk… they don’t know anyone to talk 2. So don’t be a meanie and watch them be alone. be nice and at least ask them their name. c’mon

    Me…and being a newbie
    EX: i am awkward sometimes especially when i am alone? so what do i do? celebrate every awkward moment… singing to myself (check) dancing with myself to that tune(check) mixtapin’ my classwork( hell yeah checkity check check)

    life is short ppl. live it up!!!

    • Aleah

      I always talk to the newbies! Hellooo? New friend opportunity! 🙂

    • B

      I like u. Lol. Up top!!

  • ALex

    hey! i just started grade seven and am new to middle school. this is urently happening to me but it IS getting better. (not that the dude i despise perposed to me just to annoy me was sucha great help(though it did get people to notice me so he was kinda helpful in an unhelp ful way)) and it will get better for you too. good luck gurl.

  • Crystal

    There’s a girl in my school and she keeps herself to herself – she’s in my year and until yesterday I didn’t even know what her NAME was! She doesn’t talk to anyone ever, just sits in the garden area and reads mainly.

  • Alice

    Don’t get too freaked out about it, we’ve all been there. I started high school last year, and was terrified. I had no one to talk to, no one to help me and felt so lonely.
    You’re probably a very nice girl and shouldn’t let them corrupt you.
    Make your interests known, join a club or decorate your jacket or locker in a way you like. Be seen walking your dog, reading your favorite book etc. People will approach you if they realize you have something in common with them,
    Talk to everyone you see, ask them their names or hobbies or whatever.
    It won’t be long until you’re lovin’ high school xD

  • Nicole

    i felt the same my freshmen year, i switched lunch tables like 6 times throughout the year. I finally found my right group of friends at the end of the year, and now this year I sit with them every day and we’re good friends. So just socialize and meet new people, and you’ll be friends with a lot of people(: