I Have a Crush On My BFF’s Sweetie! What Should I Do?

Look how well this turned out...

Hey Heather,

Well, I like my best friend’s BF. We were really good friends until they started dating — then we grew farther apart. They have been dating for 10 months now, and me and him have started getting closer. I feel like a horrible person for liking him, but I can’t help it. She has no idea that I like him and neither does he. Am I a bad friend?? What should I do?

This is definitely a tough situation and I understand why you feel so guilty, but at the same time, you shouldn’t beat yourself up. Sometimes we can’t help who we like or have feelings for. This is just something we don’t always have control over, and it doesn’t make you a bad friend.

You have a decision you need to make. The fact is, if you end up pursuing this guy, there’s a big possibility it could ruin your friendship with your BFF. Is this guy really worth losing your best friend over? If he is, then you need to ‘fess up and be honest with her about your feelings. But keep in mind that they’re in a relationship — there’s a really good chance he”s happy with her and doesn’t want things with her to end.

If you don’t want to lose your best friend, then you should try to distance yourself from her BF, as hard as it may be to lose him as a friend. Be on the lookout for a new guy to like: preferably someone who is single and can give you all the attention you deserve.

Just think about which relationship is ultimately more important to you. It sounds corny, but you kind of need to follow your heart on this one.

WDYT, gURLs? Have you ever liked your friend’s sweetie? Have you ever had to make a choice between a crush and a friend? What would you do in this situation? Give us your advice and discuss below!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

Posted in: Dating, Friends, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions
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  • Emma

    This girl isn’t my best friend she’s my last year Bert friends best friend, my crush and her were in the same class with me and one of my friends is his sister but I’m in love idk what to do he might like me every once in a while on my way to lunch he kinda looks at me, his girlfriend and I are both two grades younger than him…….

    ….. Tell me what to do plz

  • Sparkey

    I think im in love with my bestfriends BF. I dated him twice, but i got super scared i was gonna screw up our friendship so i ended it. but i still love him. And ik i probaly will never get him back but i just can’t get him outta my mind.. and it drives me nuts when i see them two together.. i wish it was me. but its not and i just want to curl up in a ball and cry.. This is horrible, im a hoe and a horrible friend for still loving him. i should just walk outta all their lives. they would be so much better with out me.. i’m a disappointment to all of them i know.

  • Surbhi

    I have my best frnd we r bffs from 7 yrs we both knw we love one guy nd soon she got commited with him nd the boy whom i love his best frnd loves me wht would i do

  • Jazzlyn

    I am in love with my bestfriend’s boyfriend. Well, technically I get to love him first but I just didn’t tell my bestfriend. And then I just got shocked because when I’m already sure with my feelings for him, I discovered that he is courting her. And thinking that my feeling will go away I just let them be. They became together and as the bestfriend, I became closer to him and it made my love for him grow stronger. It was so frustrating back then when I am with them and they get too intimate, I am jealous! And then I started avoiding both of them, I mean put a gap between us. And then my bestfriend’s boyfriend kept on approaching me, we became so close and he shows me sweet gestures. And then I can’t help thinking if he loves me too. But I can’t ask him! Because it’s too complicated and I’m not yet ready for a commitment, I’m too young and my parents prohibit me to do so. And I avoided him, I felt like the feeling slowly fades away. And then when we were about to graduate in High School, I felt my feelings back. My classmates and my bestfriend found out that I have a crush on his boyfriend and he it’s like he threatened me. We became close again and he always flirt with me but of course I don’t flirt back. And one day he even asked me if I have a crush on him.. he’s teasing me But I just turned him down I mean I said none. We went to college. I’m happy but I still miss him though. And then I got the news that he got my bestfriend impregnated!!! It’s so HEARTBREAKING! I started to move on but every time I see he’s eyes, so sad eyes and it’s like he wants me to comfort him. I know that I must do what’s right and that is to move on. But damn it’s so fucking hard! I need a closure! I want to know if he did have a feeling for me! but I guess it’s too late now.. What should I do? I felt like I lost my willingness to live thinking that I can’t be with him anymore.. </3

  • Kaylie

    So my bestfriend is dating a guy that I have liked for a while. At first it was just a crush, then they started dating and I got really jealous. They dated on and off. Then I began to fall in love with him. Then one day he asked me out, but we dated for 5 days because he broke up with me for her but I still love him a lot and I’m not really sure what to do I mean my friend isn’t a good friend because she goes after all the guys I like. But they are still dating now.

  • Alex

    I fancy my friends boyfriend a lot but don’t know how to break them up, I would rather be with him than friends with her, we’re not that close anyway.

  • jess

    I set my bestfriend and a guy up because i knew he liked me and back then i liked him. They got dating and my feelings left. Me and her boyfriend both go to cadets and went away for 12 days over these 12 days my feeling grew back. He knows i used to like him and that i now he use to like me. And now when there together it makes me jelous knowing that i could of been her. His bestfriend has admitted that he likes my bestfriend but im not that out going and dont want to break there relationship what should i do????

  • angelina

    Okay so i like my bestfriends boyfriend and he wants to take me to the movies and he just wants it to be me and him only what should i do ?