I Just Want To Have Sex! Should I Keep Waiting For The Right Person?

Should you go for it... even though you might not be ready?

Hiya Heather,

I’m a virgin, I’m single and I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, but I’m in a dilemma as I want to have sex. I’m not the sort of person who can just have meaningless one night stands with complete strangers, but I’m so tired of waiting for the “right” person to lose it to. I just want to have sex! What do I do?

It’s totally okay to want to have sex — but it’s also okay to be a virgin. Sex can be kind of a big deal, and it’s definitely not something you should do just to get it over with.

Some gURLs are able to have sex without any emotional attachment, and if that works for them, then that’s great. But just like with most things, sex isn’t the same for everyone. If you’re not the type of person who can have a “meaningless one-night stand”, then don’t try to force yourself to be. Doing something when you know it’s not what you really want is never going to make you happy. In the end, you could end up feeling disappointed in yourself and regretting how you lost your virginity.

I know it can be hard to wait. Although it might feel like everyone except you is getting down and dirty, that’s just not true. Don’t stress about doing it — it will happen one day, when you’re ready and when it feels right. If you want to wait for the right person to lose it to, then you should. There’s nothing wrong with waiting, and the sex will feel better if you feel totally comfortable with the person.

WDYT, gURLs? Are you a virgin? If not, how did you lose it? Have you ever felt the same way as this gURL? How do you think gURLs should lose their virginity? Discuss below!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Love Advice, Sex, Sucky Emotions
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  • Amy

    It is way better to wait for the right person. More specifically, wait untill marriage. Sex can really complicate your life and your future relationships.Do not be ashamed of being a virgin, it is actually a great thing. In todays world, the media makes sex seem like it is not a big deal. In reality it should be taken more seriously. My advice, wait to have sex. We were created to want to have sex! So the feeling is normal. But the key is to wait till marriage. God created sex for marriage. I really do not like how sex is protrayed as such a casual thing. If you do have sex before your ready it not only will harm your mentallity but also your spirt, soul, and pyshical being.

  • username

    I had sex with someone I thought I could trust… I got used. Wait, you will have so much more self worth!

    • summer

      LOL.. you got used? You thought you could trust him and you offered yourself to him and you accuse him of using you. You want pity and for people to believe you are that sweet innocent little flower who some bad guy took advantage of. Was it convenience that you trusted him in the first place because you wanted to have sex anyway?? How sad and pathetic you are. Geez, you girls are such an embarrassment. You girls love to blame and never take ownership of an issue. In your minds, there is always someone else is to blame not you!!! WOW..congratulations, you have now made us all look like dumb fools. Take responsibility and learn from experience. DONT BLAME OR ACCUSE ANYONE FOR WHAT HAPPENS.I sometimes feel so embarrassed to say I am a girl because of such responses and attitudes.


        Are you actually serious?

  • nina

    i had sex with some random wierd guy at a party. we were both drunk. he asked me if i wanted to have sex. i said no. but the next thing i knew it was over. i dont talk to or like this boy anymore, but we see eachother at school all the time.

    • Sydni,

      Ahh, I’m still a virgin but I hooked up with a guy at a party, but I had to leave before he could actually get it in.
      But a few months later at a different party he had sex with my cousin.
      I was soooo pissed.
      I have lunch with him now, but we never talk.
      We barley look in the same direction.
      I’m just glad I had to leave before anything serious happened.
      I wouldda’ been in deep shit with myself if I haden’t of. lolol.

    • Amy

      Talk about awkward. lol.

  • Zianeshia

    Hey my name is Zianeshia my boyfriend want to have sex but i am NOT ready if i dont give it up to him he going to leave should i just let him leave

  • PeachesCream166

    When is the right time to have sex & The right age???!!??? I’m always horny, I masturbate alot & I just wanna keep doing it! I wanna Have Sex But i dont know how to do it & do it hurt?? How do It Feels! Do you always bleed on your first time,! Please let me knowww im in need!

    • Anilese

      you don’t always bleed if your hymen broke already maybe because you masterbate so much your hymen already broke also it doesn’t always hurt the first time it may feel weird just cuz ur not used to using those muscles and having something up there lol i had sex when i was 8 so im not sure when either… but definately not 8 lol anyways hope this helps a little – anilese

      • kittyocleo

        wait…. u had sex when u were 8? is that even possible? well i mean in the sense u were still a child and have not entered puberty

        • cutelilthang

          Kittyocleo sum gurls start a lot earlier than others. I wus 11 but the guy was older and knew a lot about sex. It happend at his place. He wus my frends older brother but no one else wus there tht day and thngs happened. he fingered me a lot at first but he said I wasnt wet so he used some lube. I am so lucky I didnt fall prego. He didnt use any protection. He said he didnt need to because I hadn’t started my periods yet. So yeah just to tell you that it can happens even before puberty. When you are fingered or eaten out it feels awesum even if you havent started puberty.