Did I Jump Into a Relationship Too Fast?

"I rather be washing my hair."

Dear Heather,

I recently started dating someone 3 weeks ago. I met him in the beginning of this summer and we immediately hit it off. Within the week, we started dating and it’s been great. But I’ve been having doubts these couple of days about the whole thing. We’ve been hanging out nearly every day since I met him and I think I’m starting to get sick of him. I get annoyed and aggravated whenever someone mentions him or our relationship.  He’s very good to me unlike my previous relationships and he calls/texts every day to see how I’m doing. He’s a great guy, but that doesn’t stop me from wondering if I made the right move to enter a relationship so quickly. I still really enjoy spending time with him, but I dread making more and more plans. It’s a feeling of claustrophobia almost. I feel like he’s getting too serious, too fast. His parents already know me and I’ve never met them, his friends all know who I am and most of them have my number, and on top of that he’s already asked me to loan him $100 (which I can do and I trust him to pay me back, but even then that’s a lot to ask). Am I getting freaked out over nothing?

The fact that you don’t want to hang out with your new guy already is definitely a sign that something is off. Whether that means that the relationship isn’t working or that you two became too serious too quickly, I’m not sure.

It might just be that you need some alone time. It’s great that your boyfriend is available and  wants to talk to you and hang out with you every day, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to see him every day. It’s important that you two have a life outside of each other.

I think you should talk to your sweetie and tell him you feel like you might’ve rushed into things and want to take some time apart to think about things. Maybe a day. Maybe a week. Or a few weeks. Whatever you feel you need. If you’re happier without your guy in your life, than the two of you should probably call it quits.

But if you miss him, maybe you two just need to change things up. (What’s your perfect relationship? Take our survey and let us know). Make sure you have at least one or two days each week when you spend some time apart and see your friends. Check in with him everyday, but don’t feel the need to speak all day. It seems like you’re feeling a little smothered and just need some space.

Think about what you really want and how he makes you feel. But I can’t really tell you whether to keep the relationship going or not. That’s a decision that only you can make.

Take Care,

Heather

What do you think gURLs? Did she jump into this relationship too quickly? Should she move on or try and make it work? Discuss!

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.


Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Love Advice
Tags: , , , ,
  • Nelly

    It’s not going to work (been there done that). But wait, did he ask to borrow money from you? Heck! what’s wrong with him? he shouldn’t! He could borrow money from his friends or a relative, but his girlfriend??? No no no, that doesn’t sound quite right to me. What if he only needs fast and easy money and that’s why he rushed things, is so sweet with you and makes you feel “committed” (obligated to give him the money) because his parents and friends already know about you? Mmmm it may sound so paranoid but I’ve met all kinds of jerks! and there was this guy who faked feelings, just to make me give him my money! Even he told his cousin how he could get money from me! I believed he loved me but now I’m not that dumb -.- So don’t give him money and see what he really wants from you.

  • Kelly

    How can you say he sounds like a good guy. Did you read he asked to barrow money from her. The next move will be to move in with you. Slow down the train sister

  • liza

    he sounds like a good guy, but you should let him now that you dont want to really rush things, that u need some time to breath, that u think spending every single minute with him is not all that good, that sometimes you want some time to yourself to think and to breath.

  • yuri

    it feels like he’s the one that’s rushing into things let him know you wanna slow down