Am I Too Young to Be Thinking about Sex?

One of these Glee gals was ready for sex, but the other wasn't.

Dear Heather,

Is it weird or uncommon for a 14-year-old girl to think about sex? I feel kind of dirty thinking about it when I see a really hot guy or just in general, but it’s like I can’t help it, and I feel like I’m too young. And plus, I have no one I can verbalize my thoughts with. My best friend and I were talking about it, but we got in so much trouble I’m scared to talk to her about anything that has to with guys. I don’t think this is how our friendship should be. I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty, and feel that no one else my age thinks these things. Please help.

First of all, you should know that thinking about sex and wanting to talk about it, at any age, is perfectly normal. Everyone thinks about it, whether they admit to it or not, and it’s not something that you can control. So don’t try to.

But not everyone is comfortable talking about sex. gURLs mature at different ages, and you just happened to beat your BFFs to it. They just need more time. You can’t force them to discuss something they’re not ready to discuss, because that will only end up leaving all of you feeling uncomfortable.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to have the dialogue you want, though. Try discussing the topic with some of your other friends who might be more open to the discussion. Or, if you feel more comfortable, you can try talking to some of the gURLs in our Shout Out Boards. There’s an entire section dedicated to relationships and sex where gURLs like you talk about the same things that you think about.

When dealing with your friends, remember to keep an open mind. There is no right or wrong time or way to approach these topics, and everyone handles things differently. Do what feels comfortable to you and let your friends do the same on their own time. They’ll catch up.

Take Care,

Heather

What do you think gURLs? Have you ever been in a similar situation? What did you do? Discuss!

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.


Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sex
Tags: , , , , ,
  • Ashley

    I’m 15 and all I think about is sex. In school, right now, when im shopping, all the time. It even got to the point where I go to this kids house and the next time I go im planning on getting eatin out lmao but im going crazy. Sex is all I think about, and im still a virgin my friends don’t think ima stay a virgin long. Because I can’t concentrate what they are telling me I Mack with to many guys and cause I have really freaky thoughts. And guys have told me im a freak but im just trying to wait until I lose it but it’s really hard.

  • MeMe

    I think about it and I really don’t care cuz it’s absolutly Fine btw
    I think it’s weird to not think about it

  • Nikki

    That happens to me all the time. Whever I see a hot guy, i get all nervous, too. i always think about it and i am worried because…. i am only eleven. How is this possible?!?!?!?!
    I hate myself for being like that, and i dont want to be like that, but i cant control it!

    • Ariana

      it’s cool. when i was eleven i already started masturbating and having sexual experimentations with my bffs. im not gay, just trying it out. so, you’re good Nikki!

  • Sarah

    I have a similar problem, and I have posted it on the forums, I seriously need advice on it.

  • McKayla

    Im 13 and I think about it a lot! I feel guilty too but I know there is nothing I can do about it

    • mercedes

      omg same here i think about it all the time and when i asked my mom she yelled at me :'( advice please

  • Emma

    I do the same thing it’s weird but i do think about it. I don’t really share it with anyone cause there really isn’t anybody to share it with!

  • Gosia

    I don’t see anything weird with thinking of sex, is normal 🙂

    • Sammie

      i think bout sex all the time and when i might be ready. and im only 13. i feel guilty after i think bout it. is it wrong? and also im starting to feel horny…is tht wrong? do i start mbating?

  • ashley

    hey im even younger than you not by much im 13 and i think of sex all the time.its normal for anyone to think about sex.and dont be embarased or scared or anything. if i were u i would work up the courage to talk to my mom about it. but its completely up to.once again its normal to think about sex at 14 but dont actually do it there r always consiquences to having sex young like pregnancy and STD so take ur time.:)

  • Jess

    Heey! I’m fourteen too! And I think about sex all the time it’s a little embarrassing but ino that thinking about sex but I’ve come to accept it as a part of being a teen so don’t worry about anything 🙂 it’s totally normal

  • sam

    hey gal, read this, in norfolk sex was going around when 1 was in year 5 slowly but gently, but year 6 – year 7 it was like in todays math lesson how many times do you have sex a day to get pregnant if ya know what i mean history who the first people to have sex, after every lesson performed sex sex blow jobs cumming sperm more sex kissing your Pregnant cos ur fat sex period love… but year 8 the kid like i know it all then takes the mick but now this ill be in year what to come i dont have a clue and last thing im 13 i love talk sex it interesting loved it when i knew (year 5)

  • Kaila

    sometimes i do and it makes me feel uncomfertable it makes me feel im thinking about something i shouldnt be thinking about

    • megan

      Don’t worry. It’s perfectly normal. Just try to restrain yourself from actually doing the deed until you are at least an adult.

  • liza

    thinking about sex is perfectly fine at any age, i believe that parents should start talking to there children when they turn into a teenager. the sooner the parents start talking to there kids the better its going to be. Teens should now what sex is, how it can be prevented, and what they need to know in order to protect them self from sexual transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. because if teens don’t know what they are getting them self into there could be really ugly problems that will have to deal with in the future. so dont be shy to ask your parents, they are there for you no matter what, if not then talk to a teacher, or someone that you trust.

  • helpme

    i feel gulilty too and im 15 i wish i was dead to think of such sinful things!!!

    • Ariana

      no no no honeypie. you should never have suicidal thoughts… and you are cool, cat! it’s okay to have thoughts in your mind. stay cool, sweetness.

  • Tareah Davis

    Im 14 and I do too its nothing to be ashamed about you cant help it thats the mind of a teen but sometimes i wish i didnt

  • Ashley

    Thinking about sex is normal at your age, im 18 and i thought about it at a very young age, but hardly knew anything about it. You should speak to someone you feel comfortable with about it, maybe your friends do think about sex but they are to embarrassed to tell you. Just remember it is ilegal to have sex under the age of 16 and make sure you dont rush into things or get pressured. I dint reli speak about it to anyone, i just asked my mum a few questions and that was it, I learnt more as i grew older. Make sure when the time comes, you feel comfortable with that person, talk about it and take your time. 🙂