Is it weird or uncommon for a 14-year-old girl to think about sex? I feel kind of dirty thinking about it when I see a really hot guy or just in general, but it’s like I can’t help it, and I feel like I’m too young. And plus, I have no one I can verbalize my thoughts with. My best friend and I were talking about it, but we got in so much trouble I’m scared to talk to her about anything that has to with guys. I don’t think this is how our friendship should be. I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty, and feel that no one else my age thinks these things. Please help.
First of all, you should know that thinking about sex and wanting to talk about it, at any age, is perfectly normal. Everyone thinks about it, whether they admit to it or not, and it’s not something that you can control. So don’t try to.
But not everyone is comfortable talking about sex. gURLs mature at different ages, and you just happened to beat your BFFs to it. They just need more time. You can’t force them to discuss something they’re not ready to discuss, because that will only end up leaving all of you feeling uncomfortable.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to have the dialogue you want, though. Try discussing the topic with some of your other friends who might be more open to the discussion. Or, if you feel more comfortable, you can try talking to some of the gURLs in our Shout Out Boards. There’s an entire section dedicated to relationships and sex where gURLs like you talk about the same things that you think about.
When dealing with your friends, remember to keep an open mind. There is no right or wrong time or way to approach these topics, and everyone handles things differently. Do what feels comfortable to you and let your friends do the same on their own time. They’ll catch up.
What do you think gURLs? Have you ever been in a similar situation? What did you do? Discuss!
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at email@example.com.