My Brothers Are So Overprotective! How Can I Get Them Off My Back?

Jason is always looking out for Sookie on True Blood.

Hi Heather,

I have three over-protective brothers. I’m a tomboy, so I do hang out with boys a lot. But my brothers hate it! One time an older kid started to flirt with me, and before I could say anything else, my brothers were chasing him down the street! Is it normal for brothers to act like this?

Brothers, like any sibling, can definitely be a pain sometimes. I know it’s really annoying that they act so overprotective, but you can take a little comfort in knowing that there are plenty of other gURLs going through the exact same thing, because this is totally normal.

Try looking at this in a more positive light. Your brothers are only looking out for you. They aren’t doing this to hurt you. It’s actually the exact opposite — they’re doing everything they can to make sure you don’t get hurt. They feel a sense of responsibility to watch over you. The next time they act overprotective, think of it this way: they love you and care about you enough to take care of you, and they don’t want to lose you or watch you get hurt.

However, if they’re really going overboard, you need to talk to them. Explain to them that you appreciate what they’re trying to do, but that you need a little room to have a life of your own. Tell them that if you ever feel like you’re hurt or in danger, they’ll be the first ones you call, but until then, you need them to back off a little. If that doesn’t work, try talking to your parents about it. Maybe they can step in.

WDYT, gURLs? Do you have over-protective older siblings? How do you deal with them? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.


Posted in: Dating, Everything Else, Family, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions
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  • Rosie Young

    I have 3 older brothers and they are very protective and stuff but they know their limits or I’ll kick off and not talk to them . I know that they just want to look out for me but it does get annoying so I do sympathise with y’all .

  • Rose

    I wish I had an older bro my older sister is mean.

  • NikkiBrayden

    I Have 5 older brothers,1 older sister,2 little brothers.
    Oldest to youngest:Adam 26,Luke 24,Brielle 23,Jake 20,Blake 19,Cameron 17,Me(Nikki) 16,Kade 13,Zachary(Zach) 10.
    All my siblings are over protective of me,even Kade and Zach.
    In July (2013) I was gonna go to the beach with my besties Tori,Matthew,Jeremy,and Paige,we live in Florida,and I was wearing a bikini with some short jean shorts and my sandals,I walked down the stairs and Blake,Cameron,Jake and Kade were sitting on the couch,Adam,Luke,and Zach were in the kitchen,and Brielle was in her room. I told them where I was going and when I would be back,I turned around and I was about to walk out when I heard Blake yell “Hell No You Ain’t Going Out Like That!!” That got all my brothers attention and then I was being yell at saying that I needed to be covered up,That will get unwanted attention,Go change,and walk out the door like that I you will be grounded for 3 months. I told them that I was leaving like this no matter what they say even if they all come with me. Next thing I know all my brothers and Brielle are pilling into 2 trucks with their bathing suits on. We get to the beach and I get out and see my friends and start walking toward them and Adam yells that I need to be able to see them and they need to be able to see me at all times. I say okay and walk on to my friends. I didn’t even realized that Cameron was behind me and apparently neither did Jeremy and next thing I know Jeremy is grabbing my sides and running me over to the dock and s about to throw me In (I can’t swim,I know it’s childish but I never learned,but I love the beach) Before Cameron can get to me Jeremy has thrown me in,Next thing I know Cameron’s arms are around me and are pulling me out.

    So have over protective brothers aren’t that bad,I mean if Cameron haven’t of followed me down to my friends I could have drowned lol

    • Jen

      i really hate this over protection ! i live in an apartment with my only brother who is 24 and i have just started High School and i am 1 of 4 girls in my class and all the rest are boys and my brother keeps telling me to make friends and when i get home from school he asks who iv been hanging around with and most if the time its boys because they are so much easier to get along with and they actually make me feel better than my brother does because they don’t contentiously comment on my weight or point out my flaws daily . my mom passed away on the 26.08.13 and ever since then i have had to do everything and when i finally get a break i like to spend it with my friends but my brother is such a d****k he needs to know everything even when i`m on the phone i change my friends name to a girls name and lie to him because i was talking to a friend one night and it was a guy and i got grounded for a month ! every time i try to say something to him i cant i crumble at the thought of what he might do ! please help FML ! πŸ™

  • Danielle

    I three older brothers and one older sister’ I’m the baby currently 17. I have alwayes been known as the Ford brother’s sisters. Until recently I turned a senior in high school and my brothers wasn’t around so they started to flirt. When I got home my brothers told me if anyone’s messing with you let us know.Turns out my brothers were fighting every guy that liked me since middle school. People tell me that I’m intimidatingly pretty so…. I thought was seriously ugly until this year I found out that I was intimdating with three older brothers my love life sucks. πŸ™

  • julie alexandra

    i have 3 brothers kevin who is 22,adam who is 19 and nicholas who is 18 and they can be proctective of me sometimes the same with my cousins who is boys i have no sisters but i have girl cousins i am kinda a tomboy of that my parents died 20 june 2012 and they dont want me to get hurt of a boy they want me to wait to im 14 or 15 and im 13 and i have a feeling for a boy im my class but dont know what to do and i dont know how they will react but they know and like the boy from julie alexandra from norway:)3>

  • lizzy

    yeah i have three older brothers and one older sister. my oldest brother isold enough to be my dad. so once i was talking to this guy i like and my brother asked who i was ralking to and i lied and said “nicky”. i did nt think he heard me when i said yea sure he’s a girl but he did. so he grabbed the phone from me and told the guy to leave me alone or he was gunna hunt him down with his gun. and by the way my brother was in the military. my sister is the exact same way because she dosent want me to be like her. one of my brothers dosen’t really care unless i end up pregnant. lastly my youngest older brother goes through my text messages and my email iv’e tried to get him to stop but it dosen’t work. so yea i know how you feel. by the way im a tomboy also.

  • Sarah

    I have an overprotective brother and I actually love it. I appreciate how much he cares for me and watches out for me. I feel very safe when I’m with him because I know he’d never let anything happen to me.

  • Emily

    I have 4 brothers and only one is protective (kinda he just says if anything happens call me but he lives like 15 hours away). they really dont care about my dating life or anything of that sort. Sometimes i wish i had a protective brother.

  • kosovoguurl

    i have 2 older brothers and they are so protective! i know they are just trying to ‘watch out’ for me but its really annoying. :/

  • sadie

    i have 2 brothers and an super overprotectiuncle so i know how u feel

  • Cami

    I have one older sister but she is equally embarrassing and way over protective. i remember that we would be mad at each other so i would go venture around the store and she would follow me and i asked my mom why she does that and she told me that she needs to watch over me. Now she held up a little bit cause shes in college and im 14 but she is like an older brother. (i think)

  • samantha

    Gosh i know this feeling i have 4 brothers and im the only girl! and i get along with guys way better than girls! and they hate it! and my little brother is always ratting me out its annoying! they need to unsterstand im 15! i can handle myself lol!

  • lil’sis

    I have 4 older brothers and they are overprotective too. I know that they are just trying to watch out for me but it gets really annoying. Since i grew up with 4 older brothers and no sisters Im a tomboy too. It really bugs me though because everytime I even talk to a guy they freak out! I really wish I hd a sister to talk to because me and my mom arent close. πŸ™