My Brothers Are So Overprotective! How Can I Get Them Off My Back?

Jason is always looking out for Sookie on True Blood.

Hi Heather,

I have three over-protective brothers. I’m a tomboy, so I do hang out with boys a lot. But my brothers hate it! One time an older kid started to flirt with me, and before I could say anything else, my brothers were chasing him down the street! Is it normal for brothers to act like this?

Brothers, like any sibling, can definitely be a pain sometimes. I know it’s really annoying that they act so overprotective, but you can take a little comfort in knowing that there are plenty of other gURLs going through the exact same thing, because this is totally normal.

Try looking at this in a more positive light. Your brothers are only looking out for you. They aren’t doing this to hurt you. It’s actually the exact opposite — they’re doing everything they can to make sure you don’t get hurt. They feel a sense of responsibility to watch over you. The next time they act overprotective, think of it this way: they love you and care about you enough to take care of you, and they don’t want to lose you or watch you get hurt.

However, if they’re really going overboard, you need to talk to them. Explain to them that you appreciate what they’re trying to do, but that you need a little room to have a life of your own. Tell them that if you ever feel like you’re hurt or in danger, they’ll be the first ones you call, but until then, you need them to back off a little. If that doesn’t work, try talking to your parents about it. Maybe they can step in.

WDYT, gURLs? Do you have over-protective older siblings? How do you deal with them? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.


Posted in: Dating, Everything Else, Family, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions
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9 Comments

  1. avatarjulie alexandra says:

    i have 3 brothers kevin who is 22,adam who is 19 and nicholas who is 18 and they can be proctective of me sometimes the same with my cousins who is boys i have no sisters but i have girl cousins i am kinda a tomboy of that my parents died 20 june 2012 and they dont want me to get hurt of a boy they want me to wait to im 14 or 15 and im 13 and i have a feeling for a boy im my class but dont know what to do and i dont know how they will react but they know and like the boy from julie alexandra from norway:)3>

  2. avatarlizzy says:

    yeah i have three older brothers and one older sister. my oldest brother isold enough to be my dad. so once i was talking to this guy i like and my brother asked who i was ralking to and i lied and said “nicky”. i did nt think he heard me when i said yea sure he’s a girl but he did. so he grabbed the phone from me and told the guy to leave me alone or he was gunna hunt him down with his gun. and by the way my brother was in the military. my sister is the exact same way because she dosent want me to be like her. one of my brothers dosen’t really care unless i end up pregnant. lastly my youngest older brother goes through my text messages and my email iv’e tried to get him to stop but it dosen’t work. so yea i know how you feel. by the way im a tomboy also.

  3. avatarSarah says:

    I have an overprotective brother and I actually love it. I appreciate how much he cares for me and watches out for me. I feel very safe when I’m with him because I know he’d never let anything happen to me.

  4. avatarEmily says:

    I have 4 brothers and only one is protective (kinda he just says if anything happens call me but he lives like 15 hours away). they really dont care about my dating life or anything of that sort. Sometimes i wish i had a protective brother.

  5. avatarkosovoguurl says:

    i have 2 older brothers and they are so protective! i know they are just trying to ‘watch out’ for me but its really annoying. :/

  6. avatarsadie says:

    i have 2 brothers and an super overprotectiuncle so i know how u feel

  7. avatarCami says:

    I have one older sister but she is equally embarrassing and way over protective. i remember that we would be mad at each other so i would go venture around the store and she would follow me and i asked my mom why she does that and she told me that she needs to watch over me. Now she held up a little bit cause shes in college and im 14 but she is like an older brother. (i think)

  8. avatarsamantha says:

    Gosh i know this feeling i have 4 brothers and im the only girl! and i get along with guys way better than girls! and they hate it! and my little brother is always ratting me out its annoying! they need to unsterstand im 15! i can handle myself lol!

  9. avatarlil'sis says:

    I have 4 older brothers and they are overprotective too. I know that they are just trying to watch out for me but it gets really annoying. Since i grew up with 4 older brothers and no sisters Im a tomboy too. It really bugs me though because everytime I even talk to a guy they freak out! I really wish I hd a sister to talk to because me and my mom arent close. :(

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