I’ve been dating my bf for almost two years now. We went to different colleges soon after getting together and ended up breaking up but reunited and have been together again for a year. I love him, but I feel smothered by him sometimes. He relies on me for his happiness, always wants to be around me and doesn’t completely trust me.
This feeling caused me to cheat on him the first time we dated. I was doing really good about being loyal this time until the end of the school year when I started liking this guy I volunteer with and we hooked up a few times. I haven’t told my boyfriend because he it would break his heart.I feel really selfish for cheating and wanting my independence when he is so committed and sweet. I don’t want to destroy him because he is really dependent on me and I know this time if I break up with him, it will be final. He wants to marry me and be with me forever,and I’ve wanted that too, so I feel like this decision decides mine and his future. I know I will regret it if I make the wrong one.
Should I tell him I cheated? How do I know if I will be happy for the rest of my life with him?
Relationships should make both people involved happy, and honestly, it doesn’t sound like you’ve been happy with your boyfriend for a while. It’s never going to be easy to end things with someone you’ve been with for a long time — but it’s also not easy to stay with someone just to make them happy. I know how much you must care about your BF and it’s understandable that you don’t want to hurt him. But in the end, you need to focus on yourself and do what feels right for you.
Cheating is usually a big warning sign that a relationship may need to end. It’s not fair to your boyfriend, yourself, or the boy you cheated with to act like it never happened. If you’ve cheated multiple times, then it’s best for you to break up with him now before you feel the need to do it again. You should be honest with your BF and come clean about what you’ve done. Not only does that show more respect towards him, but it will also make you feel better that you told the truth.
Being alone and single might be a scary thought to you, but it sounds like it’s exactly what you need. Any relationship can be smothering, and it sounds like you need to get to know yourself before you date someone. You’ll never know if he’ll make you happy for the rest of your life, but if you’re not happy now, there’s a good chance you won’t be any time soon.
Keep in mind that you both deserve to be happy, and that this might be really hard right now, but in the end it could be the best thing for the two of you.
WDYT, gURLs? Have you ever cheated on your sweetie? Were you honest about it? Have you ever felt smothered in a relationship? Share your stories and advice below.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org.