I don’t know what to do about my two best friends right now. My one bestie keeps talking about my other bestie behind her back to me and our other friends, but she keeps pretending like she still likes her. The girl being talked about thinks that everything is OK. I know that I shouldn’t get involved but I feel that the things that my friend is saying about her are really bad, and so do my other best friends. What should I do? Please help!
Being stuck in the middle of two close friends is never a fun situation. It’s hard to watch people you care about so much not get along. It’s easy to feel like you have an obligation to get involved with their fight and help them work it out, but sometimes involving a third person can only make things worse — you could end up losing two best friends.
It’s understandable that you want to tell your friend everything that’s being said about her, but know that if you do that, it’s going to start a lot more drama. Instead, you can try to do a little damage control without putting yourself directly in the middle. Talk to your friend who has been saying things behind the other gURL’s back. Tell her that if she’s not going to confront the gURL about their issues, then you don’t want to hear her talk badly about your friend anymore because it makes you uncomfortable. Explain that you really care about them and want to stay close to both of them.
Unless the things being said about her are really mean and hurtful, it’s probably best not to tell your other friend what’s going on right now. Letting her know is only going to hurt her, and could make her angry at you also. If the other gURL stops talking about her, then try to let the situation go, as hard as that might be.
If she doesn’t change her behavior, then maybe it’s time to tell your friend she’s better off without this gURL in her life. If your friend doing the talking gets mad at you for that, you could be better off. If she’s going to treat one person like that, then who knows who else she’s treating the same way?!
WDYT, gURLs? Have you ever been stuck in the middle of two friends? Do you have any other advice? Share your stories and advice below.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org.