How Can I Get My Sweetie To Lose Weight?

A couple who exercises together... stays together?

Hey Heather,

My boyfriend is 20 and I am 17. We have been together for a year and 4 months. I love him with all my heart and soul. But there’s a problem. I want to start losing weight, and I want him to lose weight with me. I know I should love him for him, and love every aspect, but its hard to be attracted to him mentally AND physically when the bottom of his stomach is hanging out of his shirt. And it would kill me if I ever hurt his feelings or made him feel like I don’t love him. Help?

It’s great that you want to stay fit and healthy, and it’s understandable that you want your boyfriend to do the same. No matter what people might say sometimes, physical attraction can be an important connection in a relationship. As long as looks aren’t what is most important to you, you shouldn’t feel shallow for wanting to continue to be attracted to your boyfriend.

That being said, this is definitely a touchy subject. No one wants to be told that they need to lose a few pounds, and saying that to your BF straight up will most likely hurt his feelings. Guys can be just as self-conscious about their bodies as gURLs. Tell him you think it would be a great idea if you two started dieting and exercising together. Ask him to join the gym with you, explaining that you think it would be a fun way to spend more time with each other. Suggest dates that involve more exercise, like a bike ride, so that it feels like fun instead of work. Let him know that him doing this would be extra motivation for you.

If he gets offended, explain to him that you love everything about him, and you just want to make sure that you both stay healthy together. Focus on that more than the fact that you want to drop pounds. If he’s not into it at all, there’s not much else you can do without being completely honest — you can’t force someone to lose weight. But as he watches you try to get in shape, it might motivate him to do the same.

WDYT, gURLs? Have you ever wanted a sweetie to lose weight? Any advice? Share your stories and advice below. take care, heather What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.


Posted in: Body & Health, Body Issues, Dating, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions
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  • Nikki

    My husband is a bit overweight as well, and he wants to change it, but he’s a lot bigger and stronger than I am, and sees that as a big problem. As well as losing weight, he wants to build muscle. I can understand that, but I could NOT be his spotter in the weight room. All our friends that he’s asked to join him say they’ll get a membership and split gas money, and then nothing ever happens. We don’t have bicycles, and we’re both total babies when it comes to being cold. In the summertime, it’s totally easy for us to go on walks, and we always say we will, but then it never happens. I feel almost responsible that he hasn’t lost weight yet. And that his clothes are all tattered and his hair covers his whole face. (Whenever we go shopping for him and he can’t find anything, I proceed to ask for stuff I want. I feel so terrible about it!)

  • gurfy

    if he doesn’t want to listen to you than what i would do is break up with him and just move on

  • Meg

    OMG! im the same. im not heavy heavy, but im not a skinny mini either! I wanna shape up, and for my boyfriend to do it also. He is WAYYY over weight, while that doesnt matter to me, I want us to be healthy so we can have a healthy looong life together! it sooo hard, but just tell him that you wanna start going for walks, and you’d feel beeter or more safe with him there. its great exercise and bonding also! good luck! Lord knows I need it as well!