Does Thinking About Sex Make Me a Slut?

Lots of gURLs out there <3 talking about sex & love.

Hey Heather,

I’m one of those gURLs who likes to talk about sex and guys, but none of my friends will talk about it. I have a group of four friends, only one of them has had sex but she acts like she’s a prude and refuses to talk about that kinda stuff. The others don’t even like guys that way and seem to still be stuck in the ‘guys have cooties’ stage. I’ve been around them so much that whenever I even think about that stuff I feel like such a slut. Help me Heather, I don’t know what I should do.

Talking about sex is totally healthy and normal, and doesn’t make you a “slut” at all. Everyone thinks about sex, even people (like your friends) who act like they don’t. I bet you’re just the only person in your group of friends who is comfortable enough with herself to start the dialogue.

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Everyone matures at different levels, and your friends probably feel either really shy about sex, or they don’t know much about it. I know it sucks to feel like you have no one to talk to, but you can’t push your friends to talk about something they don’t want to.

In the meantime, try branching out and getting closer to other friends you might have. You can always talk to other gURLs on our Shout Out Boards about love and sex — they’re some of the most popular topics on the whole site! 

|This gURL is in serious need of some good friends. Check out what Heather’s advice.|

Just remember that “slut” is a word that people use to make gURLs feel bad about sex, and that there’s no reason for you to be down on yourself for thinking about a natural part of human existence. Keep your head up high, okay?

What about you, gURLs? Have you ever felt like you had no one to talk to about sex? What did you do? Share your tips and advice below.

take care,

heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Dating, Everything Else, Friends & Family, Help Me Heather, Hooking Up, Love Advice, Love&Sex, Relationships, School, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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13 Comments

  1. avatarrileyelizabeth says:

    i don’t think that you would be a slut at all, chances are those girls that you hang out with probably think about it more than you ! so don’t feel bad at all its 100% normal !

  2. avatarThat-one-chick!!! says:

    your not a slut for thinking about it some people r comfortable talking about it and some r you may just be curious about it doesnt mean your a slut its perfectly normal

    • avatarDanielle says:

      I know wha you mean.Ive thought about it well more now then usally but since i have an off and on relation ship im gonna ask him to have sex with me.But when i go to school and ppl are always saying IF U THINK ABOUT SEX YOUR A GAY HORE.But dont listen to them.Its just how your growing and getting matrue the best way is to stop thinking about is ask you bf or if you dont have one ask one you like to have it.It will turn into the best time of your life!

  3. avatarArielB823 says:

    I wish i had friends that would make me feel confortable about talking about it like you all.. i need ppl like u to talk to. can you hit me up sometimes?

    • avatarDanielle says:

      If your not comfotable talking to it with your friends talk about with your parents or us.Your parent may get mad or not.But if it makes you fell uncomfy talking bout it with friends dont they reallt jsut dont care.Friends you cant trust but family will never judg you.:)

  4. avatarniceaj says:

    i think about sex too and i can’t wait till my first time :). i talked to my friends about that kind of stuff and they judged me but i didn’t care. there’s nothing wrong with thinking about sex. i’ve always thought it’s natural. thinking about sex doesn’t make anyone a slut. don’t worry.

  5. avatareliana-grace says:

    i know how you feel and the thing is i wonder because i know nothing about sex or any of that stuff my mom left and i have my stepmom but i to werided out to ask about it

  6. avatarniaBoo says:

    hey i commented twice hahahahaha

  7. avatarniaBoo says:

    your JUST like me. i need u in my group of friends lol. one of my friends have had sex that dont mind talkin bout it but shes still tryin to get his dick all the way in so she doesnt really know how GOOD it feels to have him inside u. so that sucks for me cuz my otha friend doesnt have sex and she always seems annoyed when i tell her how good it wuz after i finish havin sex. i have no one to really tlk to on that level. I have a sis that knows but sumtimes its just kinda weird tellin her lol. i know how u feel. i dont mind talkin to u bout it haha. i completely know how u feel.

  8. avatarKayleigh says:

    I understand completly, same thing with me, i think about sex alot.. every time i see a really hot guy, i try not to think about sex but i just cant help myself, i dont tell anyone because all of my friends dont date anyone, or like to talk about that stuff. I even try to deny thinking about it to myself because its gotten to the point where i think people know what im thinking about, so i feel bad. But now i know that its normal i dont feel that bad now :$

  9. avatarniaBoo says:

    i understand. i feel like that too. it makes u feel dirty. :P my thing is i wanna stop having sex with this guy but i feels gud lol bt he alwayz run bck and tell his boyz :P #Boys?!?

  10. avatarSkyrider says:

    SOme people are really private – I don’t really talk about that stuff to anyone, so people think I’m a prude. I’m not – no judgements – just shy. COuld that be the case with your friends? ALso, LGBTQII issues can make people really nervous about discussing sex and stuff, especially if people attack the ones they admit to being attracted to – like a guy that is effeminate or something.

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