My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Recently, we just graduated high school. We have been talking about the future and it’s been so stressful and hurtful. He thinks it’s best for us to take a break for college. He says he will have 3 jobs AND college to deal with, and that he wouldn’t have time for me. When I asked him about him seeing other girls, it’s been an up-and-down thing; First, he said that if he wanted a girlfriend, it would be me. But the more I talk to him about this, he keeps saying how he needs to have a wild stage of dating/fooling around with other girls and that he wants to know what else is out there.
I just don’t know what to do. A part of me doesn’t even want to be with him anymore. The other part of me thinks that we should see other people to find out what else is out there…and that if we were meant to be, we will be together in the end.
It sounds like you and your boyfriend are having the same doubts about your relationship and you’re both scared to make the final decision. I know it seems like the biggest choice you’ll ever have to make, but a lot of people consider breaking up before going to college.
Maintaining a relationship throughout college, especially if you go to different schools, can be really hard. You have to put in a lot of effort to make it work. Honestly, it doesn’t sound like either of you are very committed to that idea — which is totally okay. You’ll meet tons of new, amazing people at college. Staying with your high school boyfriend, especially if you’re not sure that’s what you want, might hold you back from all of those great experiences.
I get your hesitation about breaking up with him, though. It’s really hard to let go of someone you’ve been dating for a few years! And I know it hurts to hear he wants to be with other people, but at least he’s being honest with you. If that’s what he thinks he wants, then it’s best to end things now before you both get involved in a messy situation. As weird as it is to think about, being with other people might be the best thing for both of you.
And you’re right: If you two are meant to be, you probably will end up back together. But for now, don’t hold onto something that neither of you are positive you really want.
What about you, gURLs? Have you ever had to face this decision? What did you do? Share your tips and advice below.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org.