I Wish My Friend Would Stop Smoking

Don't light up. Period.

Hi Heather,

My friend just told me today that he started smoking, and I’m super concerned for him. I told him that he shouldn’t be doing it, but he said nothing would happen to him if he continues. I promised him that I wouldn’t tell anyone… I know that’s wrong to do, but I don’t want him to be in trouble. I just want him to stop.

I know how hard it is to watch your friend do something dangerous and feel like you have no control over the situation. You want to be able to make him stop, but in this situation, he needs to come to that decision on his own.

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Promising not to tell anyone doesn’t make you a bad person. Honestly, telling his parents might even make the situation worse. A lot of teens smoke cigarettes to rebel, and feeling like everyone is against him might make your friend more determined to smoke. For now, keep it between you two and give him some time to come to a decision on his own. If his smoking only gets more intense, then you should consider telling an adult you trust.

That being said, you should still talk to him. You can mention the facts about how harmful cigarettes are if you want, but a more emotional approach might work a little better. Tell him how much it hurts you to watch him smoke,  how much you care about him and let him know that you don’t want him to get sick in the future. Ask him why he’s smoking — Is it to deal with stress or nervousness? Maybe he needs someone to talk to about his problems.

|This gURL told on her wild child cousin — and now they’re in a huge fight. Check out what Heather thinks.|

As hard as it is, try not to be too pushy. Ultimately, this is his decision and he’s going to do what he wants. Just be there for him as his friend and continue to be honest with him.

What about you, gURLs? Do any of your friends smoke? How did you talk to them about it? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,


What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

Posted in: Being Yourself, Beliefs, Everything Else, Friends, Friends & Family, Help Me Heather, Help&Advice, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions, Your Life
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  • kristine

    i get that people are stressed-i get stressed all the time but i have never smoked in my life and never will.i watched three of my very close family members die from smoking related diseases becaused they had all started smoking since they were 16.why anyone would spend their hard earned money on something that is slowly killing them-whether it be alchohol,drugs,or cigarettes-is beyond me.save yourself and your family and dont smoke.

  • Anonymous

    my friend tld me he does it because he is stressed, so he wont hurt or kill anyone, and to be calm. it hurts me to see him smoking. ive tried talking to him but he wont stop. the best thing you can say if its really bugging you is hey i really dont like you smoking and i understand its ur decision but maybe you should back off a little on the smoking. and telling them how you feel and stuff really helps. my friend hasnt stopped smoking but he doesnt do it as much as he used to.

  • Alyssa

    take it from someone who smokes, life is stressful. cigarettes take the edge off. nobody could make me stop, it would have to be my decision. let him do what he wants, eventually he’ll realize that he has to quit. i’m in that process

  • Skyrider

    It’s possible he’s dealing with some stress – he may open up and find healthier ways if you are as nonjudgemental as possible.