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Don't do it if you hate it!
Hi Heather,
Sometimes I do really stupid things with guys. Take today for example, I hung out with a guy for the first time and after hooking up for a while I gave him oral sex. I didn’t regret it at the time, but now as I am thinking about it I feel really stupid and I am scared the entire school is going to find out. I’m really scared and don’t understand why I did it. Help me please.
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There’s lots of reasons a gURL might feel scared and ashamed after hooking up. Society sometimes makes gURLs feel bad for being sexual creatures, but exploring your sexuality is an important and healthy part of growing up. As long as you felt comfortable with your actions, there’s no need to regret them. I think the solution to your problem is going to come from self-reflection and looking inside yourself for some answers.
Why do you hook up with these guys in the first place? If it’s because that’s what you want to do and you’re comfortable with being sexual, then that’s fine. But if you always feel dumb and stupid afterwards, then you need to step back and be honest with yourself. If you’re getting with guys because you think it’ll boost your confidence or because you’re trying to impress them, then you’ll never feel happy or satisfied afterward.
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The easiest way to prevent the whole school from finding out is to hook up with guys you know you can trust. Not only will they keep things private, it also makes for better sexual experiences. And if people do find out, do your best to ignore them. Guys in high school are also known for stretching the truth, and you’ll probably be fine just denying that anything ever happened.
And don’t forget about being safe and smart when hooking up. Always use some form of protection (like a condom) and get yourself tested for STDs and STIs regularly, okay?
What about you, gURLs? Do you ever feel bad after doing something sexual? Why? How do you get over it? Share your stories and advice below.
take care,
heather
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.
Supplies For The Dumped 
I have been living my life as a complete lie. Everyone thinks I have had sex with like 5 guys, and that I give blowjobs all the time, and that I sell weed. But in reality thats not true. It all started when I told one girl in a photography class during sophomore year that I had had sex. It was really my first sexual experience that was intense, but really all I did was make out with him and sleep with him (as in sleep not sex)….and then lies snowballed form there. There isn’t one person I know who doesn’t think I am slutty. But I’m just a loud girl, who is a great student, and has real potential and hope for a job as a nurse. Just last night, it’s my senior year of high school, I gave my first blow job. There is this guy who I dated in middle school, and he is one of my best friends, and I have been sending him pictures and telling him I would blow him anytime. When in fact I had said that to a lot of guys but always found a way out of it. But this time was different I had no choice it was do it now or really be known as a tease. And it’s not like I didn’t want to do it, just that I was nervous and terrified I would do something wrong. It all turned out fine. But the problem is I happened to see his phone before hand. Because, you see another senior guy who my freshman girlfriend likes was going to be there to but he didn’t show up. So at first we were all sitting on the couch, and my gf and I thought the other guy lied that he wasn’t actually able to come because he was at a event. But then my friend showed me the text and it happened to say that he was going to get some “easy” head from me…I didn’t think about it until now. The guy I have like the most and the longest just thinks I am some easy girl he can use and trash. He didn’t think it was my first time doing what I was doing until I decided I had to tell him, and I did. He was suprized, but I still don’t know how I feel about the situation. Im lost and in love, and feel like I may lose a friend because of some stupid lies that I told! Not some one else, so there is no one to blame but me…
My first love and i broke up almost 10 months ago last september. He stopped talking to me and we’ve barely had a conversation since we broke up. I still think about him frequently at least a few times a week. I’ll think about him because i’ll see his family around town or see things that remind me of him. Him and i had something special but he ended up being a jerk and i try to forget about him like heather said. I used to cry every week but now I’ll cry about him every once in a while missing the small things and listening to our songs like ‘Smile’ by uncle cracker or listening to the song ‘Smile’ by telepopmusik, which he would fall asleep to. But the thing is, people say you have to find someone special to get over the previous one. Once you find someone you are really gaga for, you’ll just appreciate that guy as your first love. For now im like you, just wondering when the hell i’ll get over him.
I understand I’ve been in a simailar situation!
my suggestion is you have to think before you suck! i know at a young age you want to seem ‘cool’ but i must say you really regret these things in the future when people start labeling you a ‘town slut’ boys will only hook up with you because they think your ‘easy’. why not get to know the boy before you take it a step to far hang out with him and get to know him before things get out of hand.
I don’t think people give blowjobs to seem cool. Blowjobs are super damn fun. You have the guy completely in your control and you’re giving him ALL this pleasure and it’s awesome.