Sometimes I do really stupid things with guys. Take today for example, I hung out with a guy for the first time and after hooking up for a while I gave him oral sex. I didn’t regret it at the time, but now as I am thinking about it I feel really stupid and I am scared the entire school is going to find out. I’m really scared and don’t understand why I did it. Help me please.
There’s lots of reasons a gURL might feel scared and ashamed after hooking up. Society sometimes makes gURLs feel bad for being sexual creatures, but exploring your sexuality is an important and healthy part of growing up. As long as you felt comfortable with your actions, there’s no need to regret them. I think the solution to your problem is going to come from self-reflection and looking inside yourself for some answers.
Why do you hook up with these guys in the first place? If it’s because that’s what you want to do and you’re comfortable with being sexual, then that’s fine. But if you always feel dumb and stupid afterwards, then you need to step back and be honest with yourself. If you’re getting with guys because you think it’ll boost your confidence or because you’re trying to impress them, then you’ll never feel happy or satisfied afterward.
The easiest way to prevent the whole school from finding out is to hook up with guys you know you can trust. Not only will they keep things private, it also makes for better sexual experiences. And if people do find out, do your best to ignore them. Guys in high school are also known for stretching the truth, and you’ll probably be fine just denying that anything ever happened.
What about you, gURLs?
Do you ever feel bad after doing something sexual? Why? How do you get over it? Share your stories and advice below.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org.