My parents are SOOOO overprotective over the craziest stuff. I can’t have a snack without asking (and I’m not like a constant eater or anything) and my mom won’t let me go to a friends house if she doesn’t know the parent very well (it’s to like the highest extent). I can’t walk to my mailbox at the end of my short driveway in a nice neighborhood without my mom telling me to take my cell phone and be on the phone with her the whole time, while she also WATCHES ME THROUGH THE DAMN WINDOW!!!!! They recently started homeschooling me. They check the history on the computer after I’m on it, so after I send this I have to delete the history!
I HAVE NO FREEDOM!! I NEED HELP! How do I get my parents off my back? I never made a bad mistake to make them do this, they’ve just never trusted me. Please help me!
Parents are usually this strict because they care so much about you and are scared that something is going to happen to you. I don’t know how old you are or if you have any older siblings, so I can’t tell you exactly why your parents have so many rules. But I do understand that dealing with this can be really annoying, since all you want is for your parents to give you the benefit of doubt, to stop controlling you and to actually trust you.
Have you tried having a calm talk with your parents about the issue of respect? Without blaming or yelling, ask them why they don’t trust you, and bring up the fact that you’re
a smart, strong gURL with a good head on her shoulders. Explain to them that you need a little more freedom because you’re unhappy, and make some compromises with them to set more appropriate boundaries. Really listen to their conditions and even suggest a few of your own, like calling them while you’re out and setting a reasonable curfew.
It’s probably going to take some time to get through to your parents, so don’t expect things to change overnight — especially in your case, when your mom and dad are extremely uptight. If they really don’t back off, there’s unfortunately not much you can do, other than introducing them to more of your friends’ parents and keeping a really open line of communication with them. Rebelling against them will only make them more over-protective and can even hurt you in the long run. And if there’s another adult you feel comfortable with, like an aunt or uncle, talk to them about it — they might be able to help talk to your parents.
The most important thing is to show your parents they can trust you and that you’re not in any danger. Take things slowly and always follow through with what you say you’re going to do, no matter how small it is.
WDYT, gURLs? Do you have really strict parents?
How did you get them to back off? Share your stories and advice below.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org.
more ways to get gURLy:
- Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
- Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
- Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
- Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
- Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
- Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
- Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games