My best friend that I’ve known for 4 years is changing so much. Ever since she got a new boyfriend, she doesn’t hang out with me or her other friends at all. Sometimes she even bails on us. She’s always with the guys and not her friends after she started to get guys… By the way, she started to do this after her first boyfriend.
She makes out with her boyfriend repeatedly in front of us after we tell her not to and it’s disgusting. We miss the old her and tried to talk to her about this, but she doesn’t try to talk to us in person about it. I feel she always chooses her boyfriend or guys over her friends and family. What should I do about this whole problem? Thanks so much.
Losing your best friend to her boyfriend sucks, especially when she doesn’t even seem to care. Feeling like you’ve been replaced is never fun. Unfortunately, this is something that happens a lot with new couples — they want to be around each other so much and so often that they’re willing to sacrifice pretty much everything else to do so.
I know you’re hurting, but first try looking at this from your friends point of view. She obviously really likes this guy. Think about when you have a crush: If you could, wouldn’t you want to be with him as much as possible? New relationships are so exciting and time-consuming that it’s easy to get wrapped up in them and forget about everyone else.
That being said, it still isn’t right for your friend to treat you like this. It sounds like she knows that her behavior is bothering you and just isn’t doing anything to change it. Talk to her in person, just you two, without the added drama of other people. Tell her how much this is hurting you and how much you miss her. Try to set aside one or two specific days each week (like every Monday afternoon) that you two can hang out alone, without her BF.
If she still isn’t willing to make time for you — and this happens often — then maybe she isn’t the good friend you thought she was. That hurts to hear, but you deserve someone who is consistently there for you and who makes an effort, not someone who ditches you and brings you down.
WDYT, gURLs? Has your BFF ever ditched you for their sweetie? How did you work it out? Share your stories and advice below.
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