Will I Ever Be Comfortable with Myself?


Dear Heather,

Will there ever be a day when I’ll actually be comfortable with myself? I just wish there was one thing that I liked about me physically and emotionally. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ugly, I just feel like I don’t like who I am, the way I look, almost everything. I just want to be at peace with myself.

I’ll tell you right now: One day, you’ll be comfortable and at peace with yourself. I promise. Learning to accept the person you are doesn’t come naturally to every gURL, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get there.

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Focusing on the positive things is the first step to better self-esteem. Since you said that you’re not “ugly”, then there has to be some things you like about yourself physically. Whether it’s your eyes, your butt or your smile, celebrate those parts, either with glasses you love, a great pair of jeans or new lip gloss. Sometimes we criticize ourselves way too much, and it helps to stop comparing yourself to anyone else — be they your friends, celebrities or models — because it will never make you feel better. Instead, think about what you bring to the table on your own.

When you’re doing something that you love and that you’re good at, you’ll feel better about yourself emotionally. Do you have a hobby that you’re really passionate about? It could be sports, school, an instrument, a cause, belief or anything else — whatever it is, put your energy into that. Make a list of your accomplishments, no matter what they are, and look at it when you’re feeling down. And surround yourself with people you love and who make you happy as much as possible. If you have a friend or a sweetie who makes fun of you or talks down to you, get them out of your life.

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Remember: No one is perfect and you should never expect to be! Sometimes it takes time to really be happy with yourself, but if you change your negative thinking, you’ll get there.

WDYT, gURLs? Do you ever feel really unhappy with yourself? How do you get over it? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Body & Health, Body Image, Body Issues, Help Me Heather, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • niceaj

    i know how you feel. i like my personality and my eyes.