My Friend and I Like the Same Guy

is he really worth it?

Dear Heather,

I like this guy who I know likes me back. I want him to ask me out, but a really close friend of mine likes him too. I want to be a good friend but I really like him, but I don’t want to be a bad friend. Please help!

This kind of thing happens all the time. It’ll be hard for you and this gURL to keep up your friendship while you both like the same guy, since this situation often leads to competition, anger and feelings being hurt… and no one wants that. You need to ask yourself:  Is this guy really worth possibly losing a friendship over?

|Talk about your friendships and relationships in the Shout Out Boards|

If you really like him and you want to pursue a relationship with him, you need to talk to your friend about it. Tell her how much he means to you and how happy it would make you to be with him. And explain that her friendship means a lot to you, too.

The #1 thing to do is respect her feelings. If she tells you that she isn’t okay with you being together, then you’re risking your friendship for a relationship. It works out sometimes, but usually, the main result is losing a friend and gaining an ex.

|This gURL is dating her BFF’s brother, and her friend wants them to break up. Can you relate?|

I’m not saying this will be easy, but you need to talk it out for the sake of your friendship. Keep in mind that in most situations, friends are around way longer than boyfriends.

WDYT, gURLs? Have you and your friend ever had the same crush? How did you work it out? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Dating, Friends, Friends & Family, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Nicole

    You should ask your friend, as Heather said. But if you do end up going out with this guy and your friend gets jealous and mean toward you, then she’s not a real friend, since a real friend would get over it or at least try to hold back her jealousy/anger from you.