I Can’t Get Over My Crushes!

first of all, get those weird red tears checked out by a doctor!

Hi Heather,

I really need some advice. Basically whenever I have a crush on someone but I find out I can’t be with him, it’s very hard for me to get over that person. Can you help me with tips or ways I can get over someone without feeling uncared for or liked? Please, and thanks so much.

It definitely sucks to be rejected, but unfortunately it’s a part of life that every gURL and guy has to deal with. Still, I know how hard it can be to get over someone you like. Don’t let the feeling of rejection make you feel crappy about yourself — you can’t control how someone feels and if they don’t see how amazing you are, then that’s their loss. It helps to really know and truly believe that you won’t be alone forever.

|All the single gURLs ban together on the Shout Out Boards!|

My tip: Focus on yourself and think about all of the things you like best about who you are. Make a list and keep it nearby so you can read it when you feel really sad. Once you think about how great you are, you’ll start to feel better and realize that the most important person who can care for and love you is you.

I know it’s really hard, but getting your mind off your crush can do wonders. Don’t look at their Facebook or talk about them with your friends, no matter how much you want to. Hang out with your close friends as much as possible. They’ll make you laugh and keep you distracted. Also, start putting your energy into something positive, whether it’s schoolwork, an instrument, or a sport. And remember to appreciate the people who do love and care about you: your family, friends, pets… and they’re way more important than a dumb crush anyway, right?!

|This gURL asked her crush out and he said yes… as a joke. Check out Heather’s advice.|

I’m not saying it’s easy to get over someone — it can take time and you will feel sad once in a while. But time heals all wounds.

WDYT, gURLs? Do you have trouble getting over a crush? Do you have any tips? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Andrea

    I know exactly how you feel. Every time I meet a guy that I like I have such high expectations and when they don’t happen I get so disappointed that I become very depressed. I tell myself that the next guy I meet will be different and that I won’t become so obsessed but I do. Its hard to get over that loneliness but focusing on other things and maybe finding a good hobby really does help.

  • ericarage

    I understand where you are coming from. I think I could almost be stalker material! hahaha I had a crush on one of my coworkers and a couple classmates and it came to the point where I felt I was in love with them, and I could cherish every moment I got to spend with them at work or school. I barely had enough courage to even say hello to them and I’m friends with them on Facebook, but I always look at their profiles and I get sooooo jealous and angry when i see them with other girls :/ It’s heartbreaking.. lol

  • Gabrielle

    Hey Heather! I am nearly 16 and never kissed a boy, never gone out with a boy and never really been exposed to a boy before. And last year I met this guy at my brothers new school that he was moving to. But, I had no idea how to talk to him and I was terrified of facing rejection… but he is in his last year and yesterday was the last day I would ever see him again. He is the first guy that I really like and my friends aren’t being very supportive of m. I cant get over it and I struggle to talk to any one I like… or any boy for that matter. I feel seriously stupid and alone. Also since I go to an all girls school, and I have an over protective father and I am shy, they all add up to well the scared, shy girl I am today… I guess am just scared that no one will accept me. I think that is also due to the fact that my group of friends are the ‘outsiders’.

    Please help me heather… how do get over a boy? I do I TALK to a boy?

    Gabby xx

  • Selo94

    I’ve been in love with the same people for years, one ex in particular, and I’m fine with it. I don’t want to “move on” or “let go”; I don’t want to love someone and then turn around and let him down. I’ve spent years letting the most important guys reject me, break my heart, and destroy me, and I’m proud of it. I know that by loving someone, he makes me a better person, he teaches me without knowing it, he inspires me, and he turns my world into a more beautiful place. And I won’t abandon that for as long as I live.

    Never try to run away from your feelings. If you love someone, you love them – that won’t go away, and you won’t want it to. If you try or wish things were different, you were never really in love to begin with. There’s no such thing as falling out of love. Love means never giving up, no matter how hard it gets.

    If it’s just a crush, you’ll get over it eventually, but the big L always keeps you coming back for more.

    • mallorie

      ok that is a bunch of bs dont dwell on guys and dont let them drag you down forget them gurls trust its not worth it

  • lauren

    I’ve been in love with the same guy for 6 six years now and i still can’t get over him….help a gurl out?

    • alexis

      if u want to get ova him think of bad sides to him if it doesnt owrk out look for a guy with finer features or if u cant let go of the guy talk to him and be friends

  • KenzigURL


    I’m in the seventh grade and I’ve liked this guy in my class for 4 years. He knows I like him and I tried to ask him out once but, after that our friendship hasn’t been the same. I went to school this past Friday and I found out that one of my close friends has been dating him since the Friday before. When she told me we were in gym and I smiled and said, “Aww, that’s so great. You to are so good together.” As soon as she and my two other friends walked away I almost cried right there but, of course, my very best friend, Taylor, could tell something was up. Being me (the suffer in silence type) I lied and said nothing was wrong, when I really felt like crawling under the bleachers and dying. All my friends, including her, said he liked me but, now I know they were lying. That was my first chance for a boyfriend that really liked me. Only my mom can truly understand how much I loved him. I feel so stupid and unliked/uncared for. I don’t know how I can face them at school tomorrow. Please, I am begging you, help me. If you do answer me back, please don’t say I’m too young for love and dating.


    • Capi

      Hey Kenzi,
      gURL, i know exactly how you feel! The exact same thing happened to me, except my crush moved TO ANOTHER FREAKING SCHOOL!!!! I was okay with that until last month when i found out that my ex BFF was dating him, and still is…..
      I have 2 gtg now……..i will write u more 2mro!

    • alexis

      play lk your kool with it some1 beta can come along because if he knew he u lkd him and went after ur best friend it means he could be a jerk and u dont want to deal with that trust me

  • October

    Hey Heather, I really need some help. I like this guy named Mikah, and I’ve liked other guys before but I just feel different about him. I like him alot more than I’ve ever liked a guy before. But he already likes someone else, and that someone is my BFF who I love like a sister and she likes him back even though she knows I REALLY like him. She said she’s sorry, and I don’t know what to do. I said its okay, but I still REALLY like him alot. Please help!

    • alexis

      same thing happened to me ive been way through to much boy drama, i think u should let fate run its course u neva noe what my happen if ur guy and ur bff lk each other let them date and see how it works out, dont lose a friendship ova a guy ur not sure about plus there are so many boys out there what makes him the special one..u hv to b sure

  • okay,…. by the way,… my pic isn’t my eye… i just found it on the internet and thought it was cool 🙂