I Like a Guy Who Already Has a Girlfriend

rumors, rumors are no fun!

Hey Heather,

I really like this guy and I think he might like me too, but he’s dating a girl who has a reputation of being kinda slutty (we are both 13). I don’t think he’ll ever ask me out because I’m not that kinda girl. What do I do??????????

I know how much it sucks to see the guy you like be with another gURL, especially when that gURL is really different than you. It can make you feel he’ll never ask you out because you aren’t like her. But if a guy is really into you, he’ll like you for you. Try to beat the pressure to hook up just to get him to like you — that’s not all a guy looks for in a gURL, you know!

|Talk about your relationships in the Shout Out Boards with other gURLs!|

However, even if you think this guy has feelings for you, the fact is, he already has a girlfriend. I know it feels really unfair to you that he’s with someone else, but it would also be unfair to her if you tried to steal him away. Regardless of how much you’re into him, he’s unavailable right now and liking this guy while he has a GF is only going to hurt you in the end.

And no matter how badly this situation makes you feel, calling another gURL a slut isn’t going to help the situation. Don’t believe all of the rumors you hear, especially if you don’t know her that well. There’s no reason gURLs should feel bad for hooking up if that’s what they feel comfortable doing — it’s something that lots of people do, and no one should be called names for doing it.

|This gURL wants a real relationship, but her guy is only into the sex part. Heather gives her advice.|

Let me know how it goes, okay?

WDYT she should do, gURLs? Have you ever had a crush on someone in a relationship? Did you ever feel pressure to change for someone else? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Dating, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sex, Sex, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Missie

    I feel the same way.. I’ve liked the same guy since the middle of last year and I just found out he had a girlfriend. I tried to stop liking him since I don’t think he would be into me, and its not fair to his gf if anyone says anything.. but I can’t force the “feelings” to go away. I’m just letting things happen naturally, if the feelings are meant to go away, I feel that in time, they will. You can’t help what you feel, and I feel that if you force feelings to go away, in time, they’ll eventually come back.. Just let things hapen :))

  • K-getoverit.

    It sucks sometimes , majority of the time a guy has a gf or isn’t interested . I wish i was one of those girls who can just have guys fall on their laps. I kinda feel left out sometimes. But it’s watever i guess.

  • Rina

    This was my life last year. We really digged eachother in 10th grade but then he got a girfriend who was JUST LIKE ME. I was SO MAD! But you know what? Now I date his best friend 😉

    • Hayley

      Now is dating his bestfriend for you, or to get back at him?

  • jacqueline

    This is happening to me rigth now I like a guy who’s girlfriend is really sluty and he knows about all the things she’s done yet he forgives her everytime its sad but true

  • midnight*serenade

    this is exactly how my life is rite now! i have EXTREME feelings for this guy n everyone knows he likes me (even our busdriver) but the one problem: HIS GIRLFRIEND. its so difficult cause everytime i flirt with him i feel so guilty because i knw that he’s taken 🙁
    i feel your pain gurl

  • Lucy

    Ohmy. This has totally happened to me. If she does have a… ‘reputation’ like you say, it’ll probably be over before you know it. Then, voila, fair game. ;D

  • Kittyback

    This surely happens to everyone. I have managed to keep close relationships with guys who were dating because i simply didn’t bring their relationships in to the conversation. If it does come up don’t act dismissive or hone in on him for dating someone that you don’t particularly like, just agree to what he says (within reason. Good time to use your judgement ladies!) and then simply keep on talking about whatever it was you were talking about before. Talking to a guy who’s in a relationship kind of gives you reservation time. By building a strong friendship that’s drama free, you can then later seem like good dating material when he’s possible single. Hey, maybe you could even ask him out later on! For now though, work on building your friendship with the guy and realize he’s in a relationship not solely because of the girl’s interests.

  • Tareah

    I have a crush on a boy thats in and out of relationships i and i get extremely jealous when he picks someone over me, knowing how i feel about him. i know it’s hard to just stop thinking about him cold turkey but try to get yourself into different hobbies. Get involved in different activities to keep your mind off of him. He just might come through when you least expected it ………..but only AFTER he has broken up with his girl friend. GOOD LUCK!

  • Alice Altshuler

    Dear Heather,
    I am having a similar problem trying to figure out this guy/ He and his girlfriend broke up a few months ago and he’s been kind of having trouble getting over her. Recently, every so often, i feel like he may be flirting with me but i can’t tell if he is just being a good friend. For example, when i was wearing a shirt i often wear to school, he told me i looked “pretty in pink”. i have two guy friends who compliment me but they don’t give me compliments that way How do I know when he is flirting or if he has just has a different way of being friendly?
    From, Alice

  • Redia

    It’s been almost two years since I’ve liked this guy, a half year fater I met him, he got an extremely beautiful girl. We don’t talk anymore, I just quietly stare at him when I see him in the hallways.
    I’m not one to talk but you should listen to Heather, it is painful to see him with another person while you like him, good luck♥

  • emmygurl

    hey, i know axsactly how you feel gurl, happend to me. the gurl was a coplete bitch to him and had NOTHING in common with him. then they broke up, we met at a freinds bday and now we have been together wayyyyy long than they wer together… just keep tryin, be a friend to him.. best of luck <3 WARNING: could kill your friendship with your friend tho, so deside if hes worth it..