My Parents Keep Bugging Me About My Weight

like you need more bullies in your life...

Dear Heather,

I’m probably not the skinniest girl , but I’m also not fat. Ever since I have been little my parents have been bugging me about my weight. They call me names that are hurtful, and the worst part is that when I go out I have to dress and be a certain way. It makes feel like they are embarrassed of me. It’s just so stressful and I don’t know what to do. Help me out, Heather!

It’s really unfair that your parents are putting you in this position. Being a teenager and dealing with all of the pressure of school is hard enough — you shouldn’t have to come home and feel that way. While the most important thing is that you feel comfortable in your own skin (and I’m so glad that you do), telling your parents how their comments are making you feel can really help the situation.

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Your parents might not realize the effect their words and actions are having on you if you’ve never said anything before. Sometimes when parents try to be protective, they come off as mean and controlling. It’s possible that they think their comments are a way of motivating you to improve yourself. Whatever the reason, it’s not okay.

Approach them calmly. Tell them how much it hurts and embarrasses you when they call you names, and ask them to please stop. If they don’t listen, try to find another adult, like a school counselor, who can talk to your parents for you. Sometimes hearing something from an outsider–especially an “expert”–will make a bigger impact.

|This gURL’s friends tease her about her body. Heather helps.|

No matter what, keep up the positive self-image you have. In the end, what’s most important is how you feel about yourself.

WDYT she should do, gURLs? Have your parents ever pressured you to lose weight? What happened? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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Posted in: Body & Health, Body Image, Body Issues, Family, Help Me Heather, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • susie

    See the funny thing is that I am 18 and am 5’2 1/2 115-120 my whole life my parents have told me that I needed to loose weight when in reality I was normal or just growing. If only I had known when I was younger that when you hit puberty you gain weight. Instead I became anoreix and didnt know until my parents sat me down and told me they though I had a problem. I had weighed about 93 pounds same height. I have gained weight but come on my weight gives no rise for my parents to call me fat and ugly. I for the first time in my life love who I am and I am done having other people tell me how to look because I am beautiful and the only person that needs to know that is me! Oh, and the parents laying down about the weight will never happen I always tell my parents that they have no right to call me fat because I am not and that makes them lash out more and say even more hurtful things. So if it helps my parents are the same way

  • Juls

    In my honest opinion, I don’t think there is anything you can do. You can ask them to stop, you can have another adult mention it to them, you can do what ever it is possible to get them to stop, but the sad thing is, they won’t. At least that’s how it is for me. I’ve done everything possible to get my parents to stop shooting me down about my weight. I’ve even lost weight and they still complain. This has gone on for 8 years. I’m 18 now. And they still do it. For the past 8 years, I gave into them telling me I need to work out and lose weight. But I lose motivation, have no self drive and I just end up staying the same weight. It sucks. And I understand why they tell me I need to lose it, because they are geniunly concerned about my weight. I could become diabetic or have high blood pressure or all different sorts of things if I don’t control my weight. But there’s nothing more you can do then just hear them out until you’re ready, if ever, to take a stand for your body.

  • Chris

    Yeah, I know how that feels…
    My parents and even grandmother does that. I’m not skinny but I’m definitely not fat either. I don’t have a tummy or really big anything, it’s just that I’m pear-shaped and my lower half is bigger, not even exercise helps. So they go on that my legs are shapely and I have a big butt and oh, look, have I gained weight? Again?.
    I’ve learned not to get offended but sometimes it just takes one comment to ruin my day. But most of the time I take that as motivation to eat healthy and stay fit. I’m not gonna starve myself for them.

  • nataliie

    wow can yu plz tell me how to loose wiieght fast bcz im not fat but im not skiiney eather imin tha middle i need to loose wiieght bcz i thiink guys dnt like me!!1 help me plzz

  • piiLii

    i have the same problem and i feel comfortable in my own skin… but some times when they tell that thing my self-esteem goes down but i realize that if im comfortable and if i wanna loose weight i wiil happend when i feel the motivation to do it.!

  • Smile

    you should ask them to please stop what they are doing, tell them that it is hurting you. if they dont stop tell another adult, or you can first tell an adult like a grandparent or aunt or uncle and they could tell your parents for you

  • Lola_butterfly

    My parents are doing that too! but now, I don’t eat, and they decide to tell me that I must eat, and vica versa… I am losing too much weight now, and my mom is happy, but my dad isn’t, and he is trying to force food down my throat! It isn’t fair that some parents are like this! I try talking to them, and they just say, ‘Well, it’s for your own good!’ I really don’t know what to do either…