Ask Elizabeth: Me and My Guy Friend Like Each Other. Should We Go for It?

it's innocent now... but can it be more?

In honor of her new book Ask Elizabeth, Elizabeth Berkley (aka Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell!) is here to answer your questions about life, love and more. Check out her advice all week, and look out for your chance to win a copy of her book on Friday, May 6! Now, on to your questions.

I have been best friends with this guy since 7th grade, I’m in 10th grade now. We tell each other everything and we are extremely close. But in the past couple years he’s been trying to hook up with me. I don’t mind cause I’ve always had feelings for him, but I just can’t bring myself to do anything with him. This has happened multiple times. My friends say I should just go for it cause something good may come of it. But I’m too scared to take the risk. What should I do?

As you know, guy BFFs can be amazing and yes, it can get complicated because of how close you feel to him. I totally understand your dilemma: He means so much to you, that you worry if it’s worth the risk of saying something or not (and the possibility of rejection is scary!). You’ve shared so much these past few years, and I’m guessing he’s the one you want to confide in and have built great trust with—not to mention special memories! I can imagine how hard it must be to keep this inside, when you feel so open and free with him to let it rip about everything else. He’s been the one you spill everything to and suddenly, even though it’s only one little secret, it kind of becomes all you think about when you’re with him…and even when you’re not. Don’t you hate and love it at the same time, feeling that much for someone? Yes…No…tell him…don’t tell him…? Uuuggghhh!!

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To go for it or not to go for it…that is the question! I’m not saying it’s easy—I totally get the nerves you must be feeling! Here’s the good news: in your case, you already have the great benefit of knowing he DOES have feelings for you. Your situation feels like it is worth the risk to say something, knowing that once you do, even though it could change the dynamics of your friendship, it’s what you both want. And, like your other friends say, your relationship with this guy could be even more amazing than it is right now. I’m excited for you!!

An Ask Elizabeth girl I work with wanted to support you and share this with you: 17 year-old Abby went right to the heart of the question, “It’s such a risky thing. I know people think you can go back to being friends if it doesn’t work out, but that hardly ever happens. I feel like I want to say don’t date your best friend, but if you can’t date the guy you feel closest to, then who should you date?!?”

|Need a second opinion? Take the “should you hookup with your friend?” quiz!|

-elizabeth

What do you think of Elizabeth’s advice? Should the gURL go for it? What would you do? Share your stories below.

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Posted in: Dating, Friends, Friends With Benefits, Help Me Heather, Hooking Up, Love Advice
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  • Sarah

    I have the same thing going on with my guy friend. But after he rejected me when I suggested that we kiss, THE NEXT DAY HE WAS TOGETHER WITH MY BEST FRIEND. So I got kind of upset (one of the only times I raised my voice… And cried in front of him) but now we are completely over it but I feel like he is avoiding conversation with me… Relationships are hard.

  • Alexandria

    I am dating someone….i kissed them then four days later my guy friend and i were fooling around and we kissed i feel like a monster….

  • Taylor-Anne

    I’m in the same situation I’ve been friends with him since 7th grade and were now in twelth. He got into trouble and had to move to a different school. He now has told that he has liked me since 9th and finaly told him that I like him to but I’m worried that our friendship will go sour if anything happended that would end a love realationship. I would say go for it if it’s ment to be it will last.

  • Cody

    I don’t see why you shouldn’t, but I can see where you’re coming from;you and him being friends and all. A, well, a “different” relationship could ruin the one you have now. But it could go well. But I’m not just going to sit here and tell you what could happen because it has all probably occured to you.
    Just do what YOU think is right., gURL.
    Love ya…..
    And have fun!!!!