I Told My Friend I Have a Crush on Her and Now She’s Being Mean to Me!

what's an 8-letter-word for feeling crappy?

Hey Heather:

I liked this girl for a long time and I finally got the courage to write her a note about it. I told her how I felt and that I never felt like this for a girl. Then she waited like a month to respond to me and she turned me down of course but she said a lot of hurtful things (we messaged over Facebook). I asked her not to tell anyone but she did anyway, (I think she told 2 or 3 people) but now I feel paranoid like everyone knows. And me and the girl have a lot of tension and we don’t even talk anymore when we were friends before. What do I do?

It took a lot of courage to express your feelings. Getting turned down hurts for anyone, especially when you really put yourself out there, and for it to be another gURL — that just takes guts. I’m sorry it turned out so badly.

|Do you have feelings for other gURLs? Share ’em loud and proud on our Shout Out Boards!|

It might make you feel better to try to understand the situation through this gURL’s point of view: She may have been caught off guard and didn’t know what else to say. Some people have a hard time accepting things that they don’t understand, such as lesbian or bisexual feelings. This can definitely be a tough and awkward situation that she doesn’t know how to handle. Even though this in no way justifies her behavior towards you, imagining how she feels may help you understand this a little better.

If you think this gURL is telling other people what you told her, maybe trying to talk to her again will help. Try speaking to her in person; It’ll be awkward, but she might listen more if you’re face to face — and she can’t show anyone your conversation, the way she can with Facebook messages or a letter. Tell her that everything she’s been doing has been hurting you a lot and that you’d appreciate it if she could stop. After doing that, I’d stop talking with her and moving on as best you can, leaving that unhealthy paranoia and worry behind. Be proud of yourself for being brave, and let the negativity go.

|Has another gURL ever hit on you? Heather gives advice on turning a friend down without hurting her feelings.|

Good luck, stay strong, and let me know what happens.

WDYT she should do, gURLs? Have you ever confessed something like this to a friend? What happened? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

Posted in: Being Different, Dating, Friends, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Bree

    I know exactly how you feel, hun. Getting rejected hurts, Just keep your head up….It’s all confusing:)

  • Michelle

    My friend told me he loved me on this chat that me and my friends made and now we dont really talk and everyones making fun of me and him cause i dont like him. We dont talk alot anymore and every time some one asks him who he likes he says me so it makes it akward and my friends tease me an im paranoid.

    • Isabel

      If he likes you then you can’t do anything about it. But you should try and get your friendship back if you value it.

  • aelx :)

    i can’t say i know what you are feeling but the rejectedness i know. i am sorry and its even worse when they wont shut up abut it. i feel your pian gurl. good luck with every thig. either way move on you’ll fell great again and youll find love. 😉

    all my love

  • DeeDra

    I told my best friend that I like her maybe a year after we met. Everything was fine because she like me too and now she’s my girlfriend and has been for a year and three months. But no matter what happens just don’t let it get to you. It does suck when you get rejected and having feelings like this for a girl when you’ve never felt it before is scary but it’s how you come to learn who you are. Good luck!!