Ask Elizabeth: What Do I Do if My Family Hates My Sweetie?

In honor of her new book Ask Elizabeth, Elizabeth Berkley (aka Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell!) is here to answer your questions about life, love and more. Check out her advice all week, and look out for your chance to win a copy of her book on Friday, May 6! Now, on to your questions.

What do you do if your parents hate your guy? Everyone in my family thinks he’s a bad person but I know who he really is and they don’t. How do I convince them he’s a good guy?

Ugghhh… I have been there before. It is hard — especially if you are close to your family and it sounds like you are because their opinion matters to you, which is a good thing. I understand your dilemma though. I wish I knew why they hated him…has he ever given them reason to? Have they seen you hurt by him in the past? It’s especially hard if we’ve vented or cried about something our bf did and then we get the closure we need with him and the people we care about who we confided in are left with the time they saw you in pain. I’ve even had girlfriends who had a hard time letting feelings about a past boyfriend go because they had seen me hurting. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t share with the people we love and care about. It just helps to understand why they might be a bit protective or hold onto feelings about him that you let go of.

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I think there’s no way to really convince them that he’s a good guy with words—it sounds like you’ve tried that. What I suggest that worked for me in the past is to actually bring him by your house and maybe let them get to know him better in a natural way. For example, if they are willing, can you bring him over for dinner one night or just to hang out? Or do you ever do an activity with your family that you can have him join—maybe movie night? This way, they can get to know him for who he really is and if he is as good as you say, this way they can see for themselves how good he is to you instead of you just telling them. Actions do speak louder than words—know what I mean?


What do you think of Elizabeth’s advice? Has you family ever hated your sweetie? What happened? Share your stories below.

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Posted in: Dating, Family, Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Sucky Emotions, Sucky Emotions
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  • Sam

    I have the same problem, but it all started since my fiancé and I got engaged 6 months after being together!! I know it seems fast but we basically fell in love as soon as we met and I’m so happy with him, I love him to pieces. During the first 6 months my parents were perfectly fine with him, then it changed so suddenly, they just don’t like him!! I don’t even talk to them about him or my personal life as they make it so uncomfortable for me to, they even give me grief about him! Which hurts the most, gosh knows what their problem is!
    I’m learning to ignore it and get on with my life, though it difficult!

  • Kaitlyn ( :

    iDont Know Why But Im Attracted To Black Guys . Ive Dated Mostly Black Guys And Like 3 Or 4 White Guys . The Only Problem Is, My Mom Is Pretty Racist And Would S N A P If She Found Out iWas Talkinq To A Black Guy . Im Pretty Sure She Has A Good Idea That iLike Black Guys But Even Thouqh She Is Aware, Im Afraid To Introduce Any Black Guy That Im Talkinq To, To Her . iKnow She Wants Me To Be Happy And Stay Safe ( As In Sex ) But She Thinks Just Because A Guy iLike Is Black Means That Hes Not Riqht For Me . Its SOOOO Annoyinq And iHate Feelinq Like Im Goinq Behind Her Back To See A Guy That Im Datinq Thats Black . iDunno What To Do Without Her Beinq Mad At Me : o

  • LolBot

    that honestly sucks.